simon pegg

Horror Headlines: Monday May 13th, 2013

Red Sea Media has made the smart move of picking up the distribution right to "Squirrels", a new film about a small town being terrorized by the fuzzy little nut munchers. Produced by the same folks that brought you "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" there's no word on a cast yet but I think if Tiffany is free she's a sure fire lock to play the leading lady. Keep your fingers crossed.

Mother of god. Warner Bros has picked up the rights to Ryan Gosling's directorial debut titled "How To Catch a Monster". Need more? Christina Hendricks has signed on as the leading lady for the film about a mother whose son discovers a secret road leading to the underworld. I swear to god my keyboard just burst into flames from all this sex.

Salma Hayek is confirmed to be starring in "Everly", a new film from the one and only Joe Lynch. The film is about a woman who must fight her way through a horde of assassins sent by her mob boss ex. What's the interesting point here is that the entire film will be shot in one room which now that I think of it makes me think this entire thing was just one big creepy way for Joe Lynch to be able to lock himself in a room with Selma Hayek for a month.

Joe Dante is teaming up with Simon Pegg for a big screen adaptation of "Casting the Runes" by M.R. James. The story follows a blogger who's investigating the suicide of a celebrity and the self help guru connected to the death. The story was originally written close to 100 years ago which is amazing because they didn't even have the internet back then so how the hell would anyone know what a blogger is? This James guy must have had ESPN or some crap.

In Real People News: 

A 31 year old sex ed teacher in Texas is accused of having sex with two 13 year old students. Seems kind of obvious really.

A Phoenix woman is under arrest after she killed a man by running him over with her car and then called 911 to report the damage. Yes she was drunk and yes her mug shot is amazing.

Horror Headlines: Monday October 1st, 2012

Kathleen Kennedy, Steven Spielberg's long time producer, recently dropped an update on "Jurassic Park 4" and the film's current status. Excited? On the edge of your seat? Need to know right this very second what the hell is going on? Well here it is. The moment you've been waiting for. The update is.... they're writing a lot. Need a cigarette don't you?

I'm so freakin confused. "The Child" is a new German film about a lawyer who finds himself being asked to defend a 10 year old who thinks he was a murderer in a past life. The confusing thing to me is that Eric Roberts has apparently just signed on to star in the film. It's German? Does Eric Roberts speak German? Is the movie going to be in German? Will there be a Falco song in the film? There damn well better be.

Get moist fanboys! Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg's next installment in their series of films, "The World's End" has officially begin production. The film will focus on a group of friends who reunite for one more drinking marathon and find not only their future is in danger but so is the world's. Of course there's been many a night I've been three sheets to the wind and thought the world was ending. We've all been there.

Brian De Palma's "Passion", a new film about two women battling it out in a deadly power struggle, has been picked up by Entertainment One for a North American release. I think girls make out in it. I want to see it.

In Real People News: 

I've never really believed that frightening someone can cure their hiccups but then again I've been known to be wrong in the past. I mean it worked for this guy who accidentally shot his friend while trying to cure him. I suppose that might have done the trick. Unfortunately we'll never really know, because he's dead. Let's just assume yes.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, May 10th, 2011

"Shaun Of The Dead" and "Hot Fuzz" power couple Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg, or Simgar, are set to begin production on "The World's End" this September. The film is about a group of friends who reunite to attempt an epic pub crawl 20 years after their first go around. I'm not going to lie, I'm already imagining the heartfelt ending of the movie where they cry and hug over beers and I'm getting a little misty.

Stephen King's "The Reach" is next on the list to get the big screen adaptation treatment. While negotiations are still in their early stages King himself says the story, about a elderly woman who travels to a ghost island over a large frozen stretch of water, is the one he'd "most like to be remembered for after his death". So don't F this up Hollywood fat cats. Or else you'll have the ghost of Stephen King on your ass.

FX has plans to adapt the Chelsea Cain’s book "Heartsick" for the little screen sometime in the near future. The story, which is the first in a trilogy, tells the tale of a female serial killer and her relationship with a beat up Portland detective. Do they have serial killers in Portland? I thought it was all donuts and hippies. Wait, serial killer that prays on hippies? I like where this is going.

Production on "The Scribbler", staring Katie Cassidy and Eliza Dushku, has officially begun in sunny LA. The movie follows the fun story of a young woman using a new experimental tool that helps to eliminate multiple personalities. Do you think it works? What a terrible movie it would be if it does and everything works fine the first time. They hook the girl up to a car battery and 15 minutes later she's all better and drinking a coffee. Roll credits.

In Real People News: 

This story is awful but I'm also very curious as to how a couple in Indiana drove away from a liquor story with 4 toddlers strapped to the roof of their car. How did no one get a picture of this? I bet it was so frightening and adorable it would make you puke.

Try to steal copper from a power plant, get electrocuted and burst into flames. That's simple math.

Trailers: Simon Pegg freaks out In "A Fantastic Fear of Everything"

I'm just going to come right out and say it, "A Fantastic Fear of Everything" looks like the best Simon Pegg movie ever made that he didn't actually write. I know. Bold words. But peep the first trailer for the flick below and try to tell me I'm wrong. Just try! I swear to god I'll come over there and gouge your god damn eyes out.

Horror Headlines: Thursday July 28th, 2011

Looks like "Tales From the Crypt" might be headed back to the little screen sometime in the not too distant future. But before you go getting your Crypt Keeper thong dusted off you should know that the series will in no way resemble the original series that went off the air some 15 years ago. The show will be an hour long series with a continuous storyline focusing on characters from the comic book, meaning no anthology here. The project still needs to be pitched to networks so there's a good chance this might not even land on HBO. God willing it'll at least be on cable though. No blood and boobs would just be sad.

Everyone's favorite cuddly Brit Simon Pegg is set to star in a new horror comedy title "A Fantastic Fear of Everything". The movie will follow a children's novelist turned crime scribe who is researching serial killers and becomes paranoid that the world is out to get him. I hope he ends up combining the two genres and eventually begins fearing little baby murderers because that would be adorable.

While we all sit and wait patiently for a "Con Air" sequel it looks like Nicolas Cage and John Cusak are teaming up for a new film titled "Frozen Ground". The movie is based on the true story of serial killer Robert Hansen who abducted 24 women, let them loose in the Alaskan wilderness and hunted them. Cusak will play Hansen and Cage will pay the law man who cracks the case. So it's kind of like "Con Air" if it had made you want to cry in the shower for an hour or so after watching it.

Legendary director Robert Zemeckis is in talks to get behind the camera again for a new sea beast flick currently titled "Here There Be Monsters". The films story focuses on Revolutionary War naval fighter John Paul Jones and his battle with sea monsters. I can't confirm this but I think it's based on a true story. The film is still in it's early stages but I'm already excited for the "Sea Men" jokes on the podcast.

In Real People News: 

An Arizona man is under arrest after he reportedly murdered his girlfriend after she confessed to cheating on him and then proceeded to continue living with her for about two months. But that would have to smell you might be thinking. Don't worry, he covered her in carpet cleaner and deodorizer. Problem solved.

And here's a warm little story about a man who took the only action you really can when you're refused alcohol at a restaurant because you're too intoxicated. He took out his manhood and shook it at the waiter. Just a warning though that the "only action" is also very much illegal and will get you tossed in jail.

Horror Headlines: Friday July 8th, 2011

There's a brand spanking new trailer for "Final Destination 5" out and hey did you know Tony Todd's in this one? So that's something, right? And it's in 3D. Tony Todd in 3D. Man this one is going to be awesome. And I didn't think I'd have anything to say about the new trailer. Thank god and baby Jesus for Tony Todd.

"Jeepers Creepers" mastermind and official NAMBLA member Victor Salva recently let out that if and when "Jeepers Creepers 3" happens it'll be the last installment in the series. Please Victor, say it aint so. He did come out and say that 3D probably wouldn't be an option for the film that's had a script for some time now and just can't seem to get off the ground. Let's keep our fingers crossed that things work out for the convicted sex offender.

If you're holding your breath for a "Zombieland" sequel you better have some pretty hefty lungs my friends. In a recent interview Jesse Eisenberg gave an update on the status of the follow up and it looks like other than some form of a script being worked on not too much else has happened. He does go on to say that all the actors are on board but the longer it takes the less interesting the film will be. Then he kicked a puppy and shot a bald eagle.

And because it's a slow day here's the trailer for a new Cuban zombie flick cleverly titled "Juan of the Dead". As you can expect it's a nod to Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright's "Shaun of the Dead". And by nod I mean there's a cigar smoking mental patient in the corner giving himself whiplash he's nodding so hard. Ay caramba.

In Real People News: 

I'm pretty sure 30 years ago this was the theme of at least 12 movies but a Oregon man is under arrested after dressing up as a woman and sneaking into a woman's lock room to do a little peeping. Of course it turns out he's also a convicted sex offender which I'm pretty sure was never a plot point in any of those movies but it was a long time ago. I don't remember them that well.

And lastly here's a story about a man who apparently couldn't wait to get out of the porn shop he was robbing to sample the products because police found him hiding in one of the back closets going to town on a blow up doll. When the mood strikes I guess there's no stopping some people.

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 13th, 2011

Suicidal birds, a crazy scarecrow and a women hammering nails into her fingers. All a part of the new trailer for the "Husk", the first release from the new After Dark Originals series. It was also my Senior Prom theme, which is a really weird coincidence.

Christopher Landon, the guy who wrote "Paranormal Activity 2" may in fact not be writing the third film in the series but instead working on a new film titled "Wake" which would star none other than Miss Miley Cyrus. Now who's excited? Just me? Whatever, you guys are pricks.

Here's Amanda Seyfried in a hot new poster for the upcoming film "Red Riding Hood". Look at those ankles! Man it's like Playboy if it had come out in 1812 or whenever the Pilgrims came to Florida and started a colony. Something like that.

Oh Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, you're like the two best friends I always wanted but never had. We would spend our weekends in your parents basements drinking beers and playing air hockey. We'd high five so many times our hands would hurt. But enough of my fantasy, here's the second trailer for the alien flick "Paul", which stars those two if you couldn't of guessed.

In Real People News: 

With all the birds falling from the sky for no reason it's nice to have a clear answer to why these birds in Romania dropped dead. They simple answer? They were drunk, drunk as hell actually after they got into some leftovers of the wine making process. That's how I want to go.

And this is heartwarming isn't it. An 8 year old boy in Oklahoma had to be rescued after he got his tongue stuck to a metal pole when he was dared to lick it. This of course was also a famous scene in "The Godfather 3" I believe, I love the classics.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 10th, 2010

Good news kids! I think at least. "The Howling: Reborn" has been picked up by Anchor Bay for all English speaking territories. So congrats America and Britain. See you in hell, France.

Here's another clip from "Skyline" which hits theaters this Friday. It features a giant robot shooting laser beams out of its eyes and destroying all of the west coast. No I'm kidding, it apparently it has some spoilers in it so I didn't watch. Man wouldn't it be crazy if I was right?

Hammer Film's "The Resident", starring America's most handsome sweetheart Hilary Swank will finally see the light of day now that Image Entertainment has picked up the US distribution rights. Swank plays a you doctor who lives in a Brooklyn apartment that might be haunted. I'll star as the guy in the audience who keeps leaning over and asking his wife why people like Hilary Swank so much.

A gaggle of new pics from "Paul" starting Nick Frost and Simon Pegg have popped up online and I just threw up with excitement. Seriously, it's all over the laptop, it's awful and I think I may have ruined the thing. If this is my last news update ever I want you to all know I love you.

In Real People News: 

A couple in Oregon woke up Monday night to find a naked man in their closet. Seriously I had a roommate in college who use to pull this shit for about a month straight. Minus the whole nude thing but still it was frightening as hell, I can't imagine what it would have been like if his manhood was flopping around when he jumped out.

Never let it be said that the Russians are inhuman. In fact a prison in Moscow is planning on installing sunbeds in order to improve their inmates health. Remember comrades, the only thing worse than looking at a pasty inmate is an inmate with tan lines.

On this day in history: 

1972 – Southern Airways Flight 49 from Birmingham, Alabama is hijacked and, at one point, is threatened with crashing into the nuclear installation at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory. After two days, the plane lands in Havana, Cuba, where the hijackers are jailed by Fidel Castro.

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