Paul

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 13th, 2011

Suicidal birds, a crazy scarecrow and a women hammering nails into her fingers. All a part of the new trailer for the "Husk", the first release from the new After Dark Originals series. It was also my Senior Prom theme, which is a really weird coincidence.

Christopher Landon, the guy who wrote "Paranormal Activity 2" may in fact not be writing the third film in the series but instead working on a new film titled "Wake" which would star none other than Miss Miley Cyrus. Now who's excited? Just me? Whatever, you guys are pricks.

Here's Amanda Seyfried in a hot new poster for the upcoming film "Red Riding Hood". Look at those ankles! Man it's like Playboy if it had come out in 1812 or whenever the Pilgrims came to Florida and started a colony. Something like that.

Oh Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, you're like the two best friends I always wanted but never had. We would spend our weekends in your parents basements drinking beers and playing air hockey. We'd high five so many times our hands would hurt. But enough of my fantasy, here's the second trailer for the alien flick "Paul", which stars those two if you couldn't of guessed.

In Real People News: 

With all the birds falling from the sky for no reason it's nice to have a clear answer to why these birds in Romania dropped dead. They simple answer? They were drunk, drunk as hell actually after they got into some leftovers of the wine making process. That's how I want to go.

And this is heartwarming isn't it. An 8 year old boy in Oklahoma had to be rescued after he got his tongue stuck to a metal pole when he was dared to lick it. This of course was also a famous scene in "The Godfather 3" I believe, I love the classics.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 10th, 2010

Good news kids! I think at least. "The Howling: Reborn" has been picked up by Anchor Bay for all English speaking territories. So congrats America and Britain. See you in hell, France.

Here's another clip from "Skyline" which hits theaters this Friday. It features a giant robot shooting laser beams out of its eyes and destroying all of the west coast. No I'm kidding, it apparently it has some spoilers in it so I didn't watch. Man wouldn't it be crazy if I was right?

Hammer Film's "The Resident", starring America's most handsome sweetheart Hilary Swank will finally see the light of day now that Image Entertainment has picked up the US distribution rights. Swank plays a you doctor who lives in a Brooklyn apartment that might be haunted. I'll star as the guy in the audience who keeps leaning over and asking his wife why people like Hilary Swank so much.

A gaggle of new pics from "Paul" starting Nick Frost and Simon Pegg have popped up online and I just threw up with excitement. Seriously, it's all over the laptop, it's awful and I think I may have ruined the thing. If this is my last news update ever I want you to all know I love you.

In Real People News: 

A couple in Oregon woke up Monday night to find a naked man in their closet. Seriously I had a roommate in college who use to pull this shit for about a month straight. Minus the whole nude thing but still it was frightening as hell, I can't imagine what it would have been like if his manhood was flopping around when he jumped out.

Never let it be said that the Russians are inhuman. In fact a prison in Moscow is planning on installing sunbeds in order to improve their inmates health. Remember comrades, the only thing worse than looking at a pasty inmate is an inmate with tan lines.

On this day in history: 

1972 – Southern Airways Flight 49 from Birmingham, Alabama is hijacked and, at one point, is threatened with crashing into the nuclear installation at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory. After two days, the plane lands in Havana, Cuba, where the hijackers are jailed by Fidel Castro.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday October 23rd, 2010

Don Mancini recently sat down to discuss the long awaited "Child's Play" remake and the short and curly of it is there's no news, but he's open to it. So that about covers it. How's your Tuesday going? Mine's pretty good. Like what you're doing with your hair.

Everyone's favorite German Uwe Boll is working on his new film "Blubberella". The film is about the world's first obese superheroine and her battles with the forces of evil. But you probably could have guessed that even if I just gave you the title and the director.

Good news everyone! "Birdemic: The Resurrection" is already in the works. The original "Birdemic" was created by James Nguyen with his own cash and has gained a cult following by hipsters and sarcastic pricks alike.

Some new images from "Paul", the Sci-Fi comedy written by Nick Frost and Simon Pegg have hit the nets and I think I might be giddy. The film is currently set for a March 18th release and stars the duo as a couple of geeks who meet a real life alien.

In Real People News: 

Remember that girl who couldn't stop hiccupping a few years back and how we all felt bad for her? Well she murdered a guy and is now in some serious trouble. I assume the murder had something to do with some weird voodoo ritual and she'll get off with a warning. Remember how adorable she was?!

An Australian man has broken the world record for collecting navel lint with a ground breaking 22 grams. Hold my calls Barb, I'm going to top this by lunch time! Just kidding, I don't have a secretary.

On this day in history: 

1881 - Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and "Doc" Holliday confronted Ike Clanton's gang in a gunfight at the OK Corral in Tombstone, Ariz. Three members of Clanton's gang were killed; Earp's brothers were wounded.

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