after dark originals

The Task (REVIEW)

Let’s take a trip down memory lane. It was the year 2000 and I had just celebrated my fourteenth birthday. I was an awkward nerd starting my Freshman year of High School and thanks to the crippling amount of stress that comes with being a socially awkward dork in a High School filled with jocks and preps, often found myself unable to sleep at night. In my quest to find something worth watching on TV at that hour, I stumbled across a ton of awful television.

Husk (REVIEW)

About a half hour into this film I was beginning to wonder if I had put the wrong movie into my DVD player. I could swear that the DVD box said “Husk”, yet I was pretty sure that I was watching the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake. There was the group of teenagers on a road trip whose car broke down, the creepy dilapidated old house surrounded by the old cars of previous victims, the psycho killer making a mask while hunched over a sowing machine and lot’s of chases through fields at night. Only I didn’t remember there being so much corn or crows in the “TCM” remake and R.

Prowl (REVIEW)

Films based upon original ideas are pretty hard to come across today. Look at any theater marquee on the street and I can guarantee that you’ll see three things; remakes of classic films from decades past (do we really need another “Conan the Barbarian”?), films that shamelessly steal ideas from far superior films (case in point: “The Roommate”) and an endless slew of uninspired sequels (there’s a fourth “Scream” movie now?).

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 2nd, 2011

For those of you who have been anxiously awaiting a remake of "The Gate" there's good news and bad news. The good news is they've gone into pre-production so there is in fact going to be a movie. The bad news is there won't be any filming in the near future because apparently all the 3D magic going into the production is going to take a long ass time to set up. It's called ying and yang folks, Google it.

"Choose" is a new indie horror flick that apparently opens with a girl having to decide which parent a slasher kills. The new trailer is up on the tubes and looks pretty awesome I must say. Unfortunately there's no US release date yet for us while the UK already has this one sitting on their DVD shelves. But fear not, I think they still love techno music over there so everything kind of evens out.

What the hell After Dark Originals?! I get all excited about your films and then I found out tha "Husk" will be hitting the airwaves this weekend on Syfy. You can't show nudity on Syfy, you can't show guts flying on Syfy and you sure as hell can't have a good movie on Syfy. Except the ones with Debbie Gibson in them, those things are freakin gold.

I don't care if you think Joaquin Phoenix is a jackass that man has got talent. And not the sarcastic type I usually make, the guy is an awesome actor and now he's supposedly the front runner to play our former president in the big screen version of "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". Seriously, did you see "We Own the Night"? I will fight you!

In Real People News: 

When you finally decide on a tattoo you don't want to wait, no matter how drunk you are. Unfortunately for this woman in Kentucky she was a little too drunk and got shot down by her local tattoo artist. She of course then got in her truck and destroyed the shop and then went on to take her vengeance out on some gravestones. If you love Winger you want people to know.

Yes I know smuggling drugs across the border is bad but you know what is awesome? Doing it with giant catapults! Still very much illegal though so probably not the best idea. Again though, awesome.

Horror Headlines: Friday January 28th, 2011

If your car breaks down and you agree to getting a lift from a strange guy as long as you ride in the trailer for his big rig then you deserve every awful thing that is coming your way. In the case of "Prowl", the latest release form the After Dark Originals series that awful thing is being left in a warehouse full of flesh eating monsters.

The world sits and waits for what I assume will be the academy award winning film "Drive Angry" to be released in late February. To tide us over the makers have put out a dandy motion poster which you can print out and hang on your wall. Of course then it won't be in motion anymore but you can still fawn over Nic Cage in the privacy of your own bedroom. Sicko.

Hammer Films is at it again with "Wake Wood", a happy go lucky little tale about a couple who loses their only child in a dog attack and move to a small town where a pagan ritual gives them three more days with their daughter. A bunch of new photos have hit the net for your viewing pleasure and if you like you can email me and I'll send you some photos of myself that I've titled "Wake Wood" also.

I didn't even realize they were making a sequel to "Laid to Rest" but here we are kids with a trailer. "ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2" should please fans of the first, I think. honestly I haven't met any fans of the first. Come to think of it I don't think I'm met anyone's who saw the first. Come to think of it I forgot to put on pants today!

In Real People News: 

An emergency crew in Honolulu recently rescued a naked man who was trapped in a trash chute in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday. Everything really is sexier in Hawaii, even the garbage.

Break out the tissues racists, here's some sad news to spoil your Friday. After 65 years of dedication Hitler's last surviving bodyguard has announced that he can no longer respond to fan mail because of his age. How the hell did people get his address?

Horror Headlines: Tuesday January 25th, 2011

Diana Terranova, who you probably remember as Stripper #2 from every movie that's taken place in Vegas in the past five years has landed a role in the upcoming flick "Piranhaconda". If you can't guess from the name the movie is about a half anaconda half piranha that is 125% awesome.

I've seen a handful of trailers and countless images from "Sucker Punch" and I still don't have a clue what the movie is about. By no means does this mean I don't want to see it though, it looks awesome my friends. Here's a gang load of new posters to prove my point. They're full of prison girl comic book goodness, which is hot to nerds and deviants so kudos to the makers.

"Fertile Ground" is the next After Dark Originals film to see a trailer and much to my surprise it has nothing to do with gardening. It does have a lot to do with a couple who move to a house in New Hampshire only to find it is chock full of spooky happenings. Silver lining, New Hampshire is absolutely fabulous in both the summer and fall seasons.

Looks like the "Evil Dead" remake is still very much alive with Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert apparently looking at a script this very month. I have no idea if this is good or bad news at this point so let's talk about Rami's movie "For Love of the Game". Wasn't so bad, right, for a romantic comedy? Kelly Preston is always delightful but man I can't remember the last Kevin Costner movie I've seen.

In Real People News: 

Been a while since we've seen a good crop circle. Well here's one that popped up in a rice field in Slemen, Yogyakarta. I have no idea where that is but the farmers think it was aliens so I now know that farmers in Slemen are bat shit crazy.

This one's for North Carolina! C'mon and raise up. Take your shirt off, twist it 'round yo' head. Spin it like a helicopter. That was a good song, right? Anyway here's a story about a guy from NC who got wasted and called 911 looking for a hooker.

Horror Headlines: Friday January 14th, 2011

Good news kids! The real Godzilla might be making a come back in late 2012. Word on campus is along with the American reboot that currently planned the good people at Toho are also in the works for a brand new rubber suit version. Merry Christmas honey, hope you like an hour and a half of pure misery!

Yesterday we saw "Husk" from the After Dark Originals series and today we see "The Task" and as much as it pains me to not hate two movies in a row I have to say I'm a sucker for stupid kids trapped in a building. Yes it's a blatant rip off of that crappy MTV show that use to be on but at least in this one people die. People die and there's a creepy ass clown that isn't Carson Daly! People get that reference, right?

The only two things I understood about the trailer for the South Korean film "The Housemaid" was the ridiculous amount of sex a married guy has with his maid and the AT&T ad that ran before the trailer started. From the quotes in the trailer though this will apparently be the greatest movie ever invented. Well that and AT&T really does have the best nationwide coverage around, hands down.

Tori Black is a porn star and she's got some sort of horror movie coming out called "Half Moon" where she plays a prostitute who's hard up for cash, AKA a bad prostitute. But honestly you probably clicked on the link once you saw the words porn star so you're not even reading this anymore so I could really say anything. Anyway there's new cover art for the film and I sob like a baby every time I watch "Rudy".

In Real People News: 

Everyone knows that if a lady is going to steal a mink coat the best way to do it is to shove it into her underthings. What most women don't know though is you then have to keep it there at least 4 days before it's safe to take the garment out. See this women in Minnesota only left it there for 3 days and that's why she got caught.

Not knowing you're having sex with a dead girl for a few minutes is somewhat believable. Not knowing you're having sex with a dead girl for a few hours, not so much. And if you are going to try to say you didn't know, don't freakin video tape it. I should really write a handbook for deviants.

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 13th, 2011

Suicidal birds, a crazy scarecrow and a women hammering nails into her fingers. All a part of the new trailer for the "Husk", the first release from the new After Dark Originals series. It was also my Senior Prom theme, which is a really weird coincidence.

Christopher Landon, the guy who wrote "Paranormal Activity 2" may in fact not be writing the third film in the series but instead working on a new film titled "Wake" which would star none other than Miss Miley Cyrus. Now who's excited? Just me? Whatever, you guys are pricks.

Here's Amanda Seyfried in a hot new poster for the upcoming film "Red Riding Hood". Look at those ankles! Man it's like Playboy if it had come out in 1812 or whenever the Pilgrims came to Florida and started a colony. Something like that.

Oh Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, you're like the two best friends I always wanted but never had. We would spend our weekends in your parents basements drinking beers and playing air hockey. We'd high five so many times our hands would hurt. But enough of my fantasy, here's the second trailer for the alien flick "Paul", which stars those two if you couldn't of guessed.

In Real People News: 

With all the birds falling from the sky for no reason it's nice to have a clear answer to why these birds in Romania dropped dead. They simple answer? They were drunk, drunk as hell actually after they got into some leftovers of the wine making process. That's how I want to go.

And this is heartwarming isn't it. An 8 year old boy in Oklahoma had to be rescued after he got his tongue stuck to a metal pole when he was dared to lick it. This of course was also a famous scene in "The Godfather 3" I believe, I love the classics.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday December 29th, 2010

I have to say, based on the new images from the 3D flick "Behind the Walls" I thought I might be into it. Then I found out it's a French movie. Then I found out it's about a girl who travels to a spooky town to write a book. French and books don't add up to movie fun, they add up to boring cheese parties where you talk about novels. That's not fun for anyone.

After Dark Originals will hit theaters on January 28th and I couldn't be more excited. The festival will showcase 8 different films from the horror genre with different themes. What those are I'm not sure but the promo has a guy hammering nails into his hand so that's a positive. For us, not for him, it's got to suck for him.

Well this is heartwarming. "The Exorcist" has been added to the official National Film Registry by the The Library of Congress. Which means even after World War 3 there's going to be nothing left but cockroaches and "The Exorcist". Well those and apparently "Saturday night Fever" too but lets hope the bombs get that one.

UFO International productions, the same people that brought you "Lake Placid 3", have put out a long ass synopsis and poster for their new film "Vampire Nation". I refuse to read the plot of the film but my guess is it has something to do with a country overrun by vampires and the 80's pop star who I thought was dead that's going to fight them.

In Real People News: 

Jesus has arrived my friends and he picked the roof of a Kansas City family's car as his landing spot. Just in case he isn't the actual messiah though the family is trying to find the rightful owner of the little bundle of heavenly joy. But still, I think he's here and we all better look busy.

If you're going to proclaim yourself as "Nurse of the Year" then you might want to avoid having a dinner in your own honor. Apparently you can go to jail for something like that. Good to know!

Horror Headlines: Wednesday August 25th, 2010

Bruce Campbell sat and dished a bit on "Bruce Vs. Frankenstein" in a recent interview. The planned sequel to "My Name is Bruce", the actor plans on filming during his next "Burn Notice" break and hopes to pack as many horror icons into the film as he can.

"Ghost Rider" fans, if there are any, can now prepare themselves for seeing Nic Cage's hair in glorious 3-D! Cage talked about the sequel in a recent interview were her hinted towards a 3-D installment as well as the involvement of Dracula. Yes, that Dracula.

Did you shed a little tear like I did when we saw the demise of Franklin on this season of "True Blood"? Cry no more fans, James Frain who portrays Franklin has signed on to the After Dark Original thriller "Transit" working along side the likes of Jim Caviezel and Diora Baird.

In case you forgot about the internet all together yesterday, AMC has finally released the official Comic Con trailer for "The Walking Dead". To weigh in on the subject is our crack Bloody Good Horror reporter, Me! "This show is going to be amazing!" Casey Criswell said during a recent BGH News Update. In addition to the stellar trailer, AMC has also let us know that "The Walking Dead" will debut this Halloween.

In Real People News: 

As you drive to work today cursing that person in front of you who is yakking on their cell phone while slurping a latte on the freeway, count yourself lucky. If you were commuting in Bejing this morning, you're still late for work, 9 DAYS AGO.

On this day in history: 

2001 - Rhythm and blues singer Aaliyah and 8 others die in a plane crash on the island of Abaco in the Bahamas.

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