sucker punch

Horror Headlines: Tuesday January 25th, 2011

Diana Terranova, who you probably remember as Stripper #2 from every movie that's taken place in Vegas in the past five years has landed a role in the upcoming flick "Piranhaconda". If you can't guess from the name the movie is about a half anaconda half piranha that is 125% awesome.

I've seen a handful of trailers and countless images from "Sucker Punch" and I still don't have a clue what the movie is about. By no means does this mean I don't want to see it though, it looks awesome my friends. Here's a gang load of new posters to prove my point. They're full of prison girl comic book goodness, which is hot to nerds and deviants so kudos to the makers.

"Fertile Ground" is the next After Dark Originals film to see a trailer and much to my surprise it has nothing to do with gardening. It does have a lot to do with a couple who move to a house in New Hampshire only to find it is chock full of spooky happenings. Silver lining, New Hampshire is absolutely fabulous in both the summer and fall seasons.

Looks like the "Evil Dead" remake is still very much alive with Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert apparently looking at a script this very month. I have no idea if this is good or bad news at this point so let's talk about Rami's movie "For Love of the Game". Wasn't so bad, right, for a romantic comedy? Kelly Preston is always delightful but man I can't remember the last Kevin Costner movie I've seen.

In Real People News: 

Been a while since we've seen a good crop circle. Well here's one that popped up in a rice field in Slemen, Yogyakarta. I have no idea where that is but the farmers think it was aliens so I now know that farmers in Slemen are bat shit crazy.

This one's for North Carolina! C'mon and raise up. Take your shirt off, twist it 'round yo' head. Spin it like a helicopter. That was a good song, right? Anyway here's a story about a guy from NC who got wasted and called 911 looking for a hooker.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday January 11th, 2011

Despite every fiber in my tiny brain telling me otherwise "Sucker Punch" is in no way a Skin-emax flick. Yes it is about a bunch of half naked women trapped in a prison but I guess that's where the similarities end. Anyway there's a new giant poster for it out and it's full of everything I said and more. I'm so confused.

"Ghost Adventures" sounds like possibly the worst show ever imagined but this Friday's might not be so awful. Kane Hodder, R.A. Mihailoff and Rick McCallum all join the team this week as they hunt for ghosts or look for bigfoot or some crap. I have no clue but there's a trailer for the episode you should watch it and get back to me.

Neve Campbell, don't think making out with Denise Richards could make up for all those Scream movies... or the trailer for the new indie flick "The Glass Man" which focuses on a couple who's all happy and stuff and then isn't for some reason. That's all I really got out of the trailer.

Danny Boyle kind of looks like the asshole guy from "Happy Gilmore" doesn't he? That has nothing to do with the fact that he recently confirmed he's got a "good idea" for "28 Months Later" but I still think it's important to point out. You're welcome.

In Real People News: 

There's nothing more exciting than hitting the open road and letting the wind blow in your hair. And what better way to enjoy such a feeling than cruising the highway in your electric wheelchair like this guy in Connecticut.

In what I'm guessing is a glimpse into my future here's a story about a couple who couldn't make it to the hospital fast enough so they decided to give birth to their child on the side of the Garden State Parkway in new Jersey. Hits a little too close to home really.

Horror Headlines: Thursday November 4th, 2010

"Splice" and "Cube" director Vincenzo Natali is apparently working on 38 movies at the same time including the recently announced "388 Arletta Avenue". From the new poster for the flick I'm guessing it has something to do with cameras, the internet and LOL'ing. Just guessing here though.

The cast for "The Howling: Reborn" is shaping up nicely and today we've got a few names to throw your way. I say nicely in the hopes that someone here knows who the hell Landon Liboiron is because I don't recognize a thing from his IMDB. Although I am interested in something called "Moondance Alexander". I can't wait for the next staff picks on the podcast.

I've got little clue what "Sucker Punch" is but I think it might be the greatest Cinamax 2am women's prison movie ever made. I could be wrong though, god I hope not. Anyway it's got a new trailer and I think I'm in love.

Here's a new exciting one sheet for "Paranormal Activity: Tokyo Night". It's just like the one sheets you saw for the US version of the film but with Asians. I'm going to stop now because honestly I have no idea what's considered racist anymore.

In Real People News: 

Want to throw up? Here's a toy poodle that was found in ditch that has its fur so matted that it couldn't even see. Put your coffee down, it's going to get nasty folks.

And now that you're done throwing up here's some bacon flavored soda to wash the taste out of your mouth. What a terrible morning this is turning into.

On this day in history: 

1983 - Bomb attack on Israeli headquarter in Tyrus Lebanon, 60 killed

Horror Headlines: Tuesday August 4th, 2009

"Phobos" is a Russian horror film about a group of partygoers who attend a dangerous shindig inside an abandoned old bomb shelter. You can pretty much figure out what happens next.

The final poster for "Pandorum" is freakin' sweet, and pretty trippy. The film goes wide September 18th.

Carla Gugino joins the cast of Zack Snyder's "Sucker Punch". The film follows a young girl in a mental institution in the 1950's who has five days before she's given a lobotomy, so her and her friends enter an alternate reality where they begin planning an escape.

In Real People News: 

Man fends off would-be robber wearing gorilla suit. Seems oddly appropriate the week we review "Shriek of the Mutilated" on the podcast, no?

This news just made my week... Jesse Ventura is getting his own conspiracy theory show on TruTV. Break out the tin foil hats, yall!

Scientists have created virtual reality for flies. And I still don't have my "Lawnmower Man" program... what gives?

On this day in history: 

1892: Someone takes an axe and kills Lizzie Borden's millionaire parents. Andrew receives 10 whacks, and Abby 14. Lizzie is later tried for the murders, but acquitted.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday April 22nd, 2009

Jamie Chung and Jena Malone sign on to Zack Snyder's ("300", "Watchmen") next film "Sucker Punch". The film is set in the 50's, and follows a young woman unfairly thrown into a mental institution by her "wicked step-father", who imagines an alternate reality to hide from the pain. She then plans to escape the imaginary world, but has to steal five objects first, all while avoiding being caught by "a vile man". Whoa, I have no idea what that means but it sounds awesome.

Dimension films picks up "Kristy". The film is being compared to "The Strangers" and "Last House on the Left", and deals with a deserted college campus being besieged by a group of violent intruders.

Finally, after months of hearing about mundane, meaningless scoops from the set of Rob Zombie's "H2", comes word that we'll be seeing a trailer on Youtube this Friday. Rest assured we'll be on it when it lands.

Jonathan Skaech is highly positive about his "From a Buick 8" script, and says that Stephen King (the original author of the book) loves it. Unfortunately because of the economy, financing any film is difficult right now, but he hopes that it will go in front of cameras this fall. As for stars? He claims they "are going after big names right now". Hopefully we'll hear some more news about this adaptation soon.

In Real People News: 

Ahhh, nothing like the smell of freedom in Baghdad... unless of course you're a gay man, then I would prepare to have your butthole glued shut and diarrhea induced, probably killing you in the process. Well now, isn't that special.

Teenager in Arizona was so surprised to find a cop inside the car he was trying to steal recently, that he shat his pants. No idea why today's stories are so scatological, but I guess I'm just going to go with it.

Husband shoots wife in the head, kills himself... she gets up afterward, disoriented, and makes herself a cup of tea. The woman is alive and in stable condition, despite the fact that the bullet went straight through her brain and out the back of her head. Doctors are baffled.

On this day in history: 

1915: The German Army opens 5,700 canisters of chlorine gas upwind of French soldiers at Ypres. It is the first use of poison gas for military purposes.

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