28 months later

Horror Headlines: Monday April 16th, 2013

Ya know in this day and age when things are so final it's nice to see Danny Boyle keeping things loose when it comes to the question of if "28 Months Later" will happen. According to Boyle there's a 40/60 chance that the film will happen. He also said that he doesn't like zombie movies. He also kind of sounds like a prick. So that's all confirmed now.

The much discussed anthology flick "The ABC's of Death" will finally find its way onto DVD and Blu-Ray on May 21st. For those of you who are jerks and didn't listen to our podcast on the film, it's 26 different shorts each showing one special way to die for every letter in the alphabet. I have no idea why you wouldn't want to listen to the podcast though. Think of my hilarious comments but in sound form. I'm almost jealous that you actually get to hear me and I just have to be me.

The post for Bobcat Goldthwait upcoming found footage flick "Willow Creek" has hit the nets and it looks pretty sweet. It's got all kind of bigfoot action and at first I was disapointed to find out that it has nothing to do with the monster truck but then I got over it. Then I ate some graham crackers.

XLrator Media has picked up the U.S. distribution rights to "The Banshee Chapter", a new 3D flick from first time writer/director Blair Erickson. The film follows a young journalist searching for her friend who has been experimenting with mind-altering drugs in a secret government test. The story is supposedly based on real witness testimonies and is 100% bullcrap and shouldn't be trusted. I don't want to believe.

In Real People News: 

I've never trusted male flight attendants. I don't care what you say. This one 39 year old one that has been arrested for molesting a sleeping passenger just proves my point. I also don't care for older flight attendants now that I think of it. So this is kind of just two birds with one stone.

One time I was on a bus stuck in traffic outside the New York Port Authority when the driver finally snapped and kicked us all out on the entry ramp. That's not even a joke. But this guy in Nebraska now hold my title for most frightening nut bag bus mover person now that he was caught on camera beating the hell out of a passenger before dragging him off the bus. Just slightly though.

Horror Headlines: Thursday September 20th, 2012

Just in case you don't have Netflix, a DVD player, a VHS player or the internet... FEARnet has decided to start showing "Tales From the Crypt" starting October 5th.

I had no idea that A&E was making a "Bates Motel" TV movie but I've been huffing a lot of paint lately so I've missed some things. But this is a thing and it's happening and I guess Freddie Highmore was always cast as Norman a while back so today I'm here to tell you that Olivia Cooke and Nicola Peltz have both joined the cast. I think I missed my fantasy football draft also. I hope no one picked up The Fridge yet.

Still holding out hope for a third installment in the "28 Days Later" saga titled "28 Months Later"? Well writer/producer Alex Garland says it isn't going to happen. So piss off.

If you want to get your beady little eyes on some clips from the "Evil Dead" and "Carrie" remakes then you're going to want to get your ass on a plane and come to NY Comic Con because both will premiere footage there on October 13th. I mean I guess if you live in Jersey you don't need to take a plane. That would be silly. Would you fly from Newark to JFK? I'm not even sure that's possible. Think for once in your life you freakin jackass.

In Real People News: 

A 480 pound Ohio man is looking to have his execution delayed because he claims at his weight lethal injection would cause a slow and cruel death. If this works out I assume death row will suddenly become a big group of giant fat asses.

Florida.... Man.... Sex with miniature donkey... I don't even know anymore folks.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday January 11th, 2011

Despite every fiber in my tiny brain telling me otherwise "Sucker Punch" is in no way a Skin-emax flick. Yes it is about a bunch of half naked women trapped in a prison but I guess that's where the similarities end. Anyway there's a new giant poster for it out and it's full of everything I said and more. I'm so confused.

"Ghost Adventures" sounds like possibly the worst show ever imagined but this Friday's might not be so awful. Kane Hodder, R.A. Mihailoff and Rick McCallum all join the team this week as they hunt for ghosts or look for bigfoot or some crap. I have no clue but there's a trailer for the episode you should watch it and get back to me.

Neve Campbell, don't think making out with Denise Richards could make up for all those Scream movies... or the trailer for the new indie flick "The Glass Man" which focuses on a couple who's all happy and stuff and then isn't for some reason. That's all I really got out of the trailer.

Danny Boyle kind of looks like the asshole guy from "Happy Gilmore" doesn't he? That has nothing to do with the fact that he recently confirmed he's got a "good idea" for "28 Months Later" but I still think it's important to point out. You're welcome.

In Real People News: 

There's nothing more exciting than hitting the open road and letting the wind blow in your hair. And what better way to enjoy such a feeling than cruising the highway in your electric wheelchair like this guy in Connecticut.

In what I'm guessing is a glimpse into my future here's a story about a couple who couldn't make it to the hospital fast enough so they decided to give birth to their child on the side of the Garden State Parkway in new Jersey. Hits a little too close to home really.

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