Episode 355 - The Final Girls

The Funhouse Massacre

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When it was first announced that a new zombie comedy was forthcoming and it's title (originally) was Scouts Vs. Zombies, we all probably thought the same thing...the scouts are still a thing? After that thoughts likely flocked to the next logical feeling- oh boy..another zombie comedy. Changing the title to Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse sure does make the film sound a little less boring, sadly the execution can't quite match the same enthusiasm. 

Episode seven of AHS: Hotel, “Flicker,” gives us what we’ve all been waiting on since the beginning: The Countess’ history.

While Will Drake is breaking ground and walls on the renovations to the Hotel, the construction workers demo through a metal wall and discover an eerie corridor that smells like death. Obviously, for our entertainment, the two men venture into the darkness and are attacked by two zombified vampires. When Iris goes to show the Countess was found – we see the first crack in her icy veneer and know she is terrified.

Both “cabin in the woods movies" and “road movies” are well-worn and well-loved genres but, on paper, the two don't seem like they should go to together. The isolation inherent in an far-flung cabin or other spooky setting is the polar opposite of the sprawling broadness of the world in a “road movie.” For all intents and purposes, Ash. vs Evil Dead, playing on the fear and remoteness of the movie for which its named and taking to the open road should not work as well as it does.

Dieter Laser in Human Centipede 3

In a weird way, the thought of another Human Centipede movie is less disturbing than the thought of the final Human Centipede movie. After all, we’re already familiar with the escalation writer/director/series creator Tom Six is willing to perpetrate from one film to the next. However, the mind reeled at the level of nauseating madness he might execute in the name of sending his body horror/torture series out with a bang. In practice, Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) turns out mostly as expected.

The World's End brings Edgar Wright's "Cornetto Trilogy" (previously including Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) to a fitting close. The film sees a group of friends reuniting to complete a pub crawl from 20 years earlier only to drawn into an otherworldly plot that sees them way out of their drunken depth.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. However, when you lift whole cloth from a classic in the genre with disregard for the art of creating a coherent story or character arcs, the viewer is simply left feeling cheated. When it comes down to it, Harbinger Down is John Carpenter's The Thing without the wit, charisma or dizzying paranoia.


What’s in a name? An awful lot, apparently, in this tense, well-made thriller that’s often undone by the silliness behind its title: a slur used by violent cultists to disparage anyone “pretty, pure, and blessed.”

Episode six of AHS, “Room 33,” finally delves more into the background of the Countess and her weird obsession with the vampire children she keeps in the basement, but does little else for the overall story of the show.

Last Shift is a 2014 ghost movie/supernatural thriller by Anthony DiBlasi that recently recieved a stateside release. This film has drawn comparisons to Assault on Precinct 13, though in reality the films are radically different, aside from the set up.

Ash vs. Evil Dead is a show with a lot of moving parts. We have our trio of misfits, the rogue cop trying to piece together what happened to her partner, and a mysterious woman who seems to be hip to all that’s going on. As the show jumps from one story to another, we can’t help but wonder when these three arcs are going to collide, undoubtedly with buckets of blood to show for it. In “From Beyond Books”, the moment of impact gets a little closer. In the cold open, the audience finally gets to see Lucy Lawless kick some Deadite ass and rock some pretty serious driving gloves to boot.

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