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Dude Bro Party Massacre III

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In 1967, Roman Polanski directed The Fearless Vampire Killers. A silly, strange spoof of hammer films and a sudden departure from the oppressive bleakness of Repulsion and the bizarre black comedy of Cul-de-Sac that is not only remarkable because of its tone but because of Sharon Tate’s involvement. Two years later, Sharon Tate’s body alongside her guests would be discovered in their LA home; victims of the Manson family.

Poltergeist II Review

With the Conjuring sequel raking in big money at the box office, Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga’s fictionalized portrayals of Ed and Lorraine Warren are the current First Family of haunted house movies. But two decades ago, audiences were enthralled with another family battling ghosts; the Freelings. Following Steven Spielberg and Tobe Hooper’s brilliant Poltergeist, the Freeling family returned with a different location and a new set of problems in Poltergeist II: The Other Side.

Lili Taylor in The Conjuring

There’s a valuable lesson contained in The Conjuring, director James Wan’s 70s-era spook-fest about the Perrons, a family whose new home has a dark history. Before you buy or rent a residence, take a dog through it. If the dog cowers in fear at the threshold, scratch that place off your list with confidence. This is how Sadie, the Perrons’ pooch, reacts during move-in day, making it seem like a canine consultation during the open house could’ve saved everyone lot of trouble.

If there is a film in 2016 that embodies laziness, lack of creativity and a sincere and utter disregard for the intelligence of it its audience more than Blumhouse production’s The Darkness then I’ll be shocked. This is a film that seems to actively work towards sapping tension from the screen so that it may provide the blandest, least satisfying husk of a film possible.

shrooms

In casual audience lingo, we wonder if a filmmaker or artist is “on something” if their work is especially unconventional, daring, vivid, or surreal. In the case of 2007’s hallucinogen-obsessed Shrooms -- which is unexpectedly gray and dim, and also stubbornly, determinedly dull-- the irony is that the filmmakers were, apparently, on absolutely nothing at all.

Stephen King's books are so dense and ripe with detail that the film adaptations simply can't seem to condense them cinematically. Cell, is just the latest film adaptation to limp out of the prolific writer's library and onto the screen. Like the film's infectious signal, viewers are likely to feel uncontrollable rage due to the inept screenplay--but mostly just disappointed in the toothless bore that unfolds.

Poltergeist III Review

1982’s Poltergeist is a horror classic, bringing ghosts and the supernatural out of the shadows of creaky haunted houses of old and into the well-lit confines of modern suburbia. It was a huge hit that tapped into the cultural zeitgeist and has scared kids and adults alike for more than thirty years. A sequel, Poltergeist II: The Other Side, followed, and while not of the same quality as the original, it still had some scares and was solid as sequels go.

Your favorite rocker turned director, Rob Zombie has released the first official trailer for his clown driven horror show, 31. 31 is set against the backdrop of the night before Halloween where a handful of traveling carnival workers have been kidnapped and thrown into a compound called Murder World. To survive they are pitted against some deranged individuals dressed as clowns called “The Heads.”

The youngest Hodgson daughter in The Conjuring 2

There are two things that will be very clear as the credits roll on the satisfying horror sequel The Conjuring 2. The first is that Patrick Wilson can grow a mean pair of sideburns. As good as Wilson’s facial hair game is; it’s trumped by director James Wan’s jump scare game. Three years after he delivered the armrest-clenching one-two punch of The Conjuring and Insidious: Chapter 2, Wan returns to the horror directorial chair and proves that, when it comes to building and executing supernatural scares, he still wears the crown.

Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga looked concerned in "The Conjuring"

While Ed and Lorraine Warren aren’t quite the first couple of spookiness – that title is reserved for James Wan and whoever happens to be standing next to him – they are kind of a big deal. The big screen’s most aesthetically-pleasing eeriness eradicators can currently be seen doing battle with British demons in The Conjuring 2. Where they go from there is anyone’s guess. Will it be Connecticut? Union Cemetary? Another site of one of their many infamous investigations?  

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