christmas

HO HO HOOOO. Seasons Greetings, y'all. If you're like me, you've spent a lot of time and energy these past few weeks shoving your face with holiday treats instead of Christmas shopping. But don't be afraid my plump comrades! I've compiled a quick Shelf Space buyer's guide to help you find just what that Blu-ray buff is looking for.

THE STOCKING STUFFERS

Good news kids! The real Godzilla might be making a come back in late 2012. Word on campus is along with the American reboot that currently planned the good people at Toho are also in the works for a brand new rubber suit version. Merry Christmas honey, hope you like an hour and a half of pure misery!

Yesterday we saw "Husk" from the After Dark Originals series and today we see "The Task" and as much as it pains me to not hate two movies in a row I have to say I'm a sucker for stupid kids trapped in a building. Yes it's a blatant rip off of that crappy MTV show that use to be on but at least in this one people die. People die and there's a creepy ass clown that isn't Carson Daly! People get that reference, right?

The only two things I understood about the trailer for the South Korean film "The Housemaid" was the ridiculous amount of sex a married guy has with his maid and the AT&T ad that ran before the trailer started. From the quotes in the trailer though this will apparently be the greatest movie ever invented. Well that and AT&T really does have the best nationwide coverage around, hands down.

Tori Black is a porn star and she's got some sort of horror movie coming out called "Half Moon" where she plays a prostitute who's hard up for cash, AKA a bad prostitute. But honestly you probably clicked on the link once you saw the words porn star so you're not even reading this anymore so I could really say anything. Anyway there's new cover art for the film and I sob like a baby every time I watch "Rudy".