skyline

Episode 143 - "Skyline"

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Aliens are sucking people into the sky, while this movie is sucks the intelligence from your brain.

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Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 10th, 2010

Good news kids! I think at least. "The Howling: Reborn" has been picked up by Anchor Bay for all English speaking territories. So congrats America and Britain. See you in hell, France.

Here's another clip from "Skyline" which hits theaters this Friday. It features a giant robot shooting laser beams out of its eyes and destroying all of the west coast. No I'm kidding, it apparently it has some spoilers in it so I didn't watch. Man wouldn't it be crazy if I was right?

Hammer Film's "The Resident", starring America's most handsome sweetheart Hilary Swank will finally see the light of day now that Image Entertainment has picked up the US distribution rights. Swank plays a you doctor who lives in a Brooklyn apartment that might be haunted. I'll star as the guy in the audience who keeps leaning over and asking his wife why people like Hilary Swank so much.

A gaggle of new pics from "Paul" starting Nick Frost and Simon Pegg have popped up online and I just threw up with excitement. Seriously, it's all over the laptop, it's awful and I think I may have ruined the thing. If this is my last news update ever I want you to all know I love you.

In Real People News: 

A couple in Oregon woke up Monday night to find a naked man in their closet. Seriously I had a roommate in college who use to pull this shit for about a month straight. Minus the whole nude thing but still it was frightening as hell, I can't imagine what it would have been like if his manhood was flopping around when he jumped out.

Never let it be said that the Russians are inhuman. In fact a prison in Moscow is planning on installing sunbeds in order to improve their inmates health. Remember comrades, the only thing worse than looking at a pasty inmate is an inmate with tan lines.

On this day in history: 

1972 – Southern Airways Flight 49 from Birmingham, Alabama is hijacked and, at one point, is threatened with crashing into the nuclear installation at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory. After two days, the plane lands in Havana, Cuba, where the hijackers are jailed by Fidel Castro.

Horror Headlines: Thursday October 28th, 2010

There's a brand spanking new "Skyline" clip on the tubes and it makes me wonder why this film isn't getting more buzz. Or maybe it is and I'm just out of touch. Are Go-Bots still cool? What's the hot gossip around the roller rink?

There's something scary as crap about a field of corn. Maybe it's all those "Children of the Corn" movies I watched as a kid. Or maybe it's my ungodly fear of manual labor. Whatever it is. "The Fields" looks spooky and the trailer is now up for your peepers. Watch it from the comfort of your cushy office job where you can surf the net all day.

A slew of different directors are being considered for the upcoming "Ouija" film and much to my surprise the film is actually being backed by Hasbro and Universal. And here I was thinking it was going to be some ridiculous low budget romp loosely based on a kid's game. I stand corrected, it won't be low budget at all!

15 years ago if you would of told me that someday GWAR would be appearing on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon I would have laughed in your face, and also I'd probably ask who Jimmy Fallon was. But tonight my friends dreams become reality and the Scumdogs of the Universe will take the stage. I think I might cry.

In Real People News: 

Well here's a feel good story. A mother in Alexandra Virgina has plead guilty to second degree murder after shaking her baby to death because the infant wouldn't stop crying while she was playing FarmVille. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go watch some of those ASPCA commercials again and cry myself to sleep.

And the good times keep on rolling. 15 people are dead after a gang drove up to a local car wash in Mexico City and opened fire. Which is sad but it's also interesting that it's the first time I've seen the title "Mexican Car Wash Massacre" used for a real news story. I smell a hit movie here.

On this day in history: 

1922 - Fascism came to Italy as Benito Mussolini took control of the government.

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