It's been a hot minute since we heard anything about "Ouija" but according to the producers the film, based on the classic board game, is moving ahead swimmingly and may even hit theaters next October if all goes according to plan. I sounded really cool there for a second with my hip lingo right? "Hot minute". I'm like Eminem or something. I think I may have ruined it with "swimmingly" though. Old people say that.
Fox has dropped word that they'll be putting out a gaggle of new Blu-Ray releases next week, most notably for this sassy news writer is the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" which will be available at the rock bottom price of $13. The disc will hit shelves on September 11 and I'm not 100% sure what sort of special features will be available but if I was to guess, the $13 will get you the movie, a trailer and if you're lucky a DVD case. The last one might be pushing it though.
If there was ever a movie that didn't need a sequel it's "I Spit On Your Grave" but it looks like "Saw IV" writer Thomas Fenton has been tapped to pen the script for just such a film. No word as of yet on what the plot of the second installment of the "guys do awful things to a woman and then she kills them" flick but I can't imagine anything good will come from it. I would be nice if there was some actual spitting on graves though.
A while back we talked about Award Pictures and their quest to make an "Evil Dead" sequel without Sam Raimi or anyone else giving their sweet approval. Well after some paddling and what I assume was some pretty hefty lawyer bills it looks like Raimi has officially shut down production on the film. So I'm sorry folks. You will not get to see an "Evil Dead" that Sam Raimi has had nothing to do with and there is no chance of Bruce Campbell popping up in. I'm sorry.
In Real People News:
A guy in Oregon who caught his wife sexting is under arrest after he shot a gun at her, just barely missing her head. In his defense he did consult with his cats before pulling the trigger. You know cats though, they have 0 tolerance.
If I hadn't already received multiple emails from BGH's own Mark this morning I would be worried half to death right now. A Montana man was struck by 2 cars and eventually died after he dressed up as Bigfoot and tried to frighten oncoming motorists. Of course it would take at least 3 Mark's to equal the size of one Bigfoot so that should have been the first give away. He's so tiny.
Evan Spiliotopoulos, who you know as the writer of the sequel to 75% of the greatest Disney cartoons has been tapped direct "Ouija". McG has already been announced as the director of the flick based on the Hasbro board game that has allowed me to speak to George Burns from beyond the grave. Every night I force him to explain to me what it was like on the set of "Oh, God!". I think he's starting to get pretty sick of it.
If you picked up "Portal 2" yesterday then you probably already know this, but for those of you who have a day job and can't spend all night being called a "Noob" by some 11 year old Australian kid over XBox Live, it might be interesting to know that Mr. J.J. Abrams has included a pretty cool interactive trailer for "Super 8" in the extras section of the game. So maybe go pick up the game, huh? Or just Google the video... it's a lot cheaper.
John Luessenhop, who looks like a guy who would be described as "a quiet man" on a news report announcing he murdered his family and ate them, is in talks to possibly direct the upcoming "Leatherface 3D" hot pocket. The nugget is a sequel to the 2003 "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake. Did I mention the movie is going to be in 3D? And I talked about the creepy murderer director, right? Are you as excited as I am? Probably.
Leven Rambin has been cast in the upcoming flick "Hunger Games" in the role of Glimmer. Jennifer Lawrence will play District 12's Katniss Everdeen and the two will apparently battle to the death. This will apparently be the first film in a series that I have absolutely no idea about and if I'm being honest I haven't understood one thing I've talked about in this little blurb. I'm so confused.
In Real People News:
If you're trying to win over a judge at your divorce hearing so you can say get custody of the family dog or something you might want to avoid beating the hell out of your soon to be ex-wife in the judges chambers. I don't know, I'm not lawyer though so what do I know.
An air traffic controller has been suspended after he was watching "Cleaner" on a portable DVD player while he was suppose to be directing traffic. Was he suspended because it was "Cleaner" or just because he was watching a movie in general? I've never seen or even heard of "Cleaner" actually, is it that bad?
Gareth Edwards recently made waves with his low budget success "Monsters". Legendary Pictures was so impressed with his bargain barrel monster effects, they've now tapped the director to helm their "Godzilla" remake. Sure, Edwards proved himself a decent director but, we all remember how the last American "Godzilla" remake turned out, don't we?
If you didn't hate the poorly named McG already, prepare to set your phasers to loathe. The director has stepped in to take over the troubled "Ouija" board movie. Yes, a movie on the crappy Hasbro board game.
How many times have you had this conversation? "Mom... can I ask you a question?" "Sure dear, ask me anything!" "Do you ever get that...not so fresh feeling?" "I used to dear, but now I just head down to the spa for my vaginal steam bath!" Nothing says "fresh" like squatting over of a piping hot cup of mugwort tea!
1981 - The Yorkshire Ripper, murderer of 13 women, is arrested. Peter Sutcliffe concentrated mostly on hookers, but still managed to terrorize mainstream England in the late 1970's and early 1980's.
There's a brand spanking new "Skyline" clip on the tubes and it makes me wonder why this film isn't getting more buzz. Or maybe it is and I'm just out of touch. Are Go-Bots still cool? What's the hot gossip around the roller rink?
There's something scary as crap about a field of corn. Maybe it's all those "Children of the Corn" movies I watched as a kid. Or maybe it's my ungodly fear of manual labor. Whatever it is. "The Fields" looks spooky and the trailer is now up for your peepers. Watch it from the comfort of your cushy office job where you can surf the net all day.
15 years ago if you would of told me that someday GWAR would be appearing on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon I would have laughed in your face, and also I'd probably ask who Jimmy Fallon was. But tonight my friends dreams become reality and the Scumdogs of the Universe will take the stage. I think I might cry.
