monsters

Horror Headlines: Monday December 2nd, 2013

I stopped writing the news about a month ago when I read that Syfy was working on a series based on 1995's "12 Monkeys". Now I come back and what's the first thing I read? Kirk Acevedo, who has played the tough kid from the block in every movie or TV show that has had a tough kid from the block in the past 5 years, has been added to the cast. It's almost like they're daring me to stop writing again. It's almost like they know I'm just really lazy and the show had nothing to do with me not writing the news. Get out of my head Hollywood people.

I love when studios decide to drop release dates for movies even when they're a crap load of time away from now. Take Universal's "The Mummy" reboot for instance, they recently announced that it would be hitting theaters on April 22, 2016. That's over two years away. Who knows what we'll be doing in two years. Maybe movies won't even be shown on screens anymore. Maybe they'll just be beamed into our brains like the way people had sex in "Demolition Man". All I'm saying here is I don't want to sign up for seeing this movie now and then find myself being dry humped by Sylvester Stallone in my sleep.

With more and more horror related documentaries hitting the shelves it was only a matter of time before the "Hellraiser" franchise got its own. It's going to be called "Leviathan" and it'll focus on the making of the first two films in the series. No word on if it'll have anything to do with the 1989 film "Leviathan," but my guess is since that had absolutely nothing to do with "Hellraiser" it most likely won't. I'm just speculating here, though.

I know I watched the horror anthology series "Monsters" every week but to be 100% honest I could not tell you the plot of one episode. To be fair though the show was only on from 1988 to 1991 and around that time I was really starting to discover my body so my best guess is I wasn't really paying attention anyway. Well, good news for me because the show is finally getting a release on DVD this coming February 25th thanks to the folks at Entertainment One. Now with the power of play and pause I can enjoy the show and myself without missing a second. Are you throwing up yet? I hope so.

In Real People News: 

With all the long lines and madness at Walmart right now it's understandable that people would need a break. What isn't understandable though is this guy in Oklahoma who decided to head into the women's room and rub one out. It also isn't understable that this happened at 8:30 in the morning. It is understandable that he got arrested though. That's just science.

And only because this is the happiest mugshot I've ever seen here's a woman in Florida who apparently stalked a duck before running it over with her car. Yes, a duck.

Book Review: The Red Church by Scott Nicholson

Scott Nicholson’s The Red Church builds its foundation on southern ghost stories. Shadowed by the ancient Appalachian Mountains of North Carolina, a church was constructed in the late 19th century. Unfortunately for the Reverend Wendell McFall, whose fanatical ravings of God’s Second Son required the sacrifice of a child, the red church required his own sacrifice as well. Hung out on tree framing the front door of the church, Reverend Wendell McFall became a Halloween legend. A ghost story passed from generation to generation as the red church stands as foreboding as ever.

Book Review: Mr. Hands by Gary A Braunbeck

**Important note: NO, this book has nothing to do with the infamous weirdo and horse video by the same name. Just in-case any of you get confused or decide to google "Mr. Hands." I'd definitely add "book" to those search terms - or don't, if you're into that kind of thing. **

Trailers: "The Darkness, The Rage, The Fury" has awesomely melodromatic name

I prefer to read the title to "The Darkness, the Rage, The Fury" with an overwrought British accent in my head. Not sure why, just seems appropriate. It looks mega low-budget but the tease of the monster at the end has me sold. Now available at Amazon as a "7-day download" for $1.99. Hard to beat that if you're looking to give some indie horror a try.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday January 5th, 2011

Gareth Edwards recently made waves with his low budget success "Monsters". Legendary Pictures was so impressed with his bargain barrel monster effects, they've now tapped the director to helm their "Godzilla" remake. Sure, Edwards proved himself a decent director but, we all remember how the last American "Godzilla" remake turned out, don't we?

If you didn't hate the poorly named McG already, prepare to set your phasers to loathe. The director has stepped in to take over the troubled "Ouija" board movie. Yes, a movie on the crappy Hasbro board game.

George Clooney is going to return to his horror roots as he signs on to star in the serial killer thriller "The Monster of Florence".

I've long thought that the classic Grimm Fairy Tale "Hansel and Gretel" lacked sexiness. Thank god Gemma Artetron and Jeremy Renner have signed on for "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters".

In Real People News: 

How many times have you had this conversation? "Mom... can I ask you a question?" "Sure dear, ask me anything!" "Do you ever get that...not so fresh feeling?" "I used to dear, but now I just head down to the spa for my vaginal steam bath!" Nothing says "fresh" like squatting over of a piping hot cup of mugwort tea!

Two clowns were found dead in Mexico, victims of a vicious drug gang hit.

On this day in history: 

1981 - The Yorkshire Ripper, murderer of 13 women, is arrested. Peter Sutcliffe concentrated mostly on hookers, but still managed to terrorize mainstream England in the late 1970's and early 1980's.

Episode 141 - "Monsters"

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We check out "Monsters" and its sweet, sweet tentacle love.

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

On The Next Podcast: "Monsters"

This week after a long run of theatrical releases the gang finally gets to stay at home and check out Gareth Edwards' “Monsters”. Despite a decent amount of buzz around this one I still have no idea what it’s about. To be honest even after reading the description I’m still a little clueless. I pray actually watching the movie will resolve this. If not it’s going to be an interesting discussion. Synopsis and trailer after the jump.

Video: News Clips From "Monsters"

A couple new clips from the upcoming alien invasion film that sounds suspiciously like "District 9" have been released today.

Horror Headlines: Thursday March 18th, 2010

I can hear the collective groan gathering on the horizon, but I'm going to report on this, anyway. "The Grudge: White Ghost" and "The Grudge: Black Ghost", the latest installments in the long-running series, is headed to Region 2 DVD on April 19th. Who knows? It might be good. I'm just kidding.

Almost as soon as the movie was over, genre-friendly distributor Magnet scooped up North American rights to Gareth Edwards' buzz-heavy creature feature "Monsters". Here's hoping the flick receives a healthy theatrical release later this year.

Rumor has it that there's a strong possibility that Frank De Felitta's made-for-TV chiller "Dark Night of the Scarecrow" is headed for DVD. VCI Entertainment is behind the project. If you haven't had a chance the see the movie yet, you're definitely in for a treat. Creepy!

If you're excited about Timur Bekmambetov's "The Last Witch Hunter", you'll be pleased to learn that a plot synopsis has finally hit the web. Spoilers abound, so tread carefully. Very, very carefully.

In Real People News: 

Those of you who are currently living in your car with almost two dozen animals might like to know that you're about to receive a hefty fine for being extremely gross. Be sure to give a generous tip to the poor bastard who has to detail your ride.

Wanted felons: If you value your freedom, do not log into Facebook. I repeat: Do not log onto Facebook. Status updates aren't that important. By the way, did you know I just finished reading "Shutter Island?" Lunch was great, too. Hugs!

On this day in history: 

1965 - Soviet cosmonaut Aleksei Leonov embarks on the world's first spacewalk.

Trailer: "Monsters" Hits SXSW

Big giant river monsters should be scary when they pick up entire planes, but something about whatever's floating around in the new clip from "Monsters" just sounds adorable. You don't get to see the beast but you do hear a little cry it lets out from below the water. Honestly it sounds like something you'd feed fish in SeaWorld. Sure the flashing lights it let off might be some form of radiation but let's give the little bugger the benefit of the doubt.

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