zombieland 2

Horror Headlines: Friday July 8th, 2011

There's a brand spanking new trailer for "Final Destination 5" out and hey did you know Tony Todd's in this one? So that's something, right? And it's in 3D. Tony Todd in 3D. Man this one is going to be awesome. And I didn't think I'd have anything to say about the new trailer. Thank god and baby Jesus for Tony Todd.

"Jeepers Creepers" mastermind and official NAMBLA member Victor Salva recently let out that if and when "Jeepers Creepers 3" happens it'll be the last installment in the series. Please Victor, say it aint so. He did come out and say that 3D probably wouldn't be an option for the film that's had a script for some time now and just can't seem to get off the ground. Let's keep our fingers crossed that things work out for the convicted sex offender.

If you're holding your breath for a "Zombieland" sequel you better have some pretty hefty lungs my friends. In a recent interview Jesse Eisenberg gave an update on the status of the follow up and it looks like other than some form of a script being worked on not too much else has happened. He does go on to say that all the actors are on board but the longer it takes the less interesting the film will be. Then he kicked a puppy and shot a bald eagle.

And because it's a slow day here's the trailer for a new Cuban zombie flick cleverly titled "Juan of the Dead". As you can expect it's a nod to Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright's "Shaun of the Dead". And by nod I mean there's a cigar smoking mental patient in the corner giving himself whiplash he's nodding so hard. Ay caramba.

In Real People News: 

I'm pretty sure 30 years ago this was the theme of at least 12 movies but a Oregon man is under arrested after dressing up as a woman and sneaking into a woman's lock room to do a little peeping. Of course it turns out he's also a convicted sex offender which I'm pretty sure was never a plot point in any of those movies but it was a long time ago. I don't remember them that well.

And lastly here's a story about a man who apparently couldn't wait to get out of the porn shop he was robbing to sample the products because police found him hiding in one of the back closets going to town on a blow up doll. When the mood strikes I guess there's no stopping some people.

Horror Headlines: Thursday February 16th, 2011

Michael Stephenson, yes the "Troll 2" Michael Stephenson, will be producing and directing a new dark comedy titled "Destroy". The movie focuses on a man obsessed with hunting and destroying vampires even though they don't exist. Which is obviously fiction because vampires do exist and they have babies with normal people, which I think I might how the "Twilight" series ends. So, spoiler alert! Maybe.

A new clip from "Sharktopus" featuring commentary by Roger Corman has been released in honor of the films DVD release. Corman has a cameo as a beach bum who oogles a girl on the beach which is really how we all like our Corman. Either that way or with a side of cole slaw, I like that Corman too.

Mark Pellington, who I would be mocking for his music video directing work if he hadn't also directed "Arlington Road", says that the script for the English remake of "The Orphanage" is actually better than the original. He goes on to say that he's getting a little antsy to get this thing going and wants to close on a leading lady ASAP. Having never seen the original and not knowing much about the remake I'm going to confidently say the girl who played Six on "Blossom" would be perfect.

I can't think of one time Woody Harrelson has been wrong so when he talks about "Zombieland 2" and says he's "not sure it's the right thing to do." I believe him. I would also believe him if he told me that the sky is red and bleach is perfectly fine to drink too though, so maybe I'm not the best judge of people. In any case the future of the film is rocky at best but as of right now is moving forward.

In Real People News: 

Singing pornographic songs to kids is always funny, that's a fact that any college scholar will tell you. So I'm shocked and disturbed to find that a 21 year old man in Michigan is being brought up on charges of manufacturing child sexually abusive material after he posted a video on youtube of him singing a dirty song spliced with video of kids in a classroom. Even more troubling is that the video has been taken down.

A Massachusetts man is being forced to undergo a psychiatric evaluation after he threatened two men with a hatchet in a local Wal-Mart. Honestly though have you ever talked to a Boston sports fan? Two seconds of listening to any of them and I want to take a hatched to anyone within a 5 mile radius.

Horror Headlines: Monday November 29th, 2010

"Troll Hunter" is a Norwegian film about a group of students who hunt trolls. See where they got the name from? Well the clever PR folks have put up an official application so you can become an honorary troll hunter. Sounds awesome, right? Sure the entire application is in Norwegian but who doesn't speak that these days. Those Viking lovers are so hot right now.

To capture the magic of Bill Murray's appearance in "Zombieland" the makers of "Zombieland 2" are currently on the hunt for a star of equal caliber to make a surprise appearance. No surprise there, unless you haven't gotten around to seeing the first film yet in which case I apologize for ruining the surprise for you. I'm a bad person.

Here's a trailer for "Grave Encounter's", a new found footage film about a group of reality show hosts who go around looking at haunted houses. The catch is apparently they actually find something. Not like those ass clowns on "River Monsters", they haven't found one actual monster.

Am I the only one who still gets Judd Nelson and Robert Downey Jr. mixed up? I can't be. Well anyway here's a trailer for the new sci-fi/horror flick called "Shadow People" staring "Iron Man" himself. Wait, no... the other one. Which one was in "The Breakfast Club"? Yeah that one, he's the guy in this movie.

Dan Aykroyd has fired off some info around the upcoming "Ghostbusters 3" film and here's a short run down. Bill Murray and Sigourney Weaver are still in. Bill Hader, Anna Faris and Eliza Dushku are still maybes. And lastly no confirmation on me, but I assume my offer is coming any day now.

In Real People News: 

Hey Harry Potter sickos! Warner Bros. has trademarked Quidditch lingerie so in the off chance you can convince a woman to actually come over to your parent's basement, soon you'll have something creepy to ask her to put on.

I'm pretty sure this is how "Repo Men" started. A Russian man who forked over cash for his girlfriends breast implants now wants his assets back that they've broken up. Alright so he isn't going to go over to her house and take them back, but the hospital may. Probably not in a back alley or anything cool though. We can hope.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday September 29th, 2010

"Castlevania: Lords of Shadow" comes out next week and this morning there's a new extended trailer for the video game. Can a trailer be 12 minutes long? I don't know if there's specific rules for this kind of thing but there really should be.

In a new interview over at the MTVs Jesse Eisenberg admitted to being mildly excited about "Zombieland 2". It's a bit early to be poo pooing movies in your career Jesse so smile and do the zombie film or I'll be "mildly excited" to see you hooking down by the train tracks for spare change in five years.

If you're like me and are torn between all the hype around "Martyrs" and your extreme hatred for all languages that aren't English you're in luck. The film's director Pascal Laugier has begun principal photography on "The Tall Man", his English language debut. The film stars Jessica Biel and revolves around a small town were children have gone missing with no explanation.

Break out your black eyeliner kids! HBO and BBC have picked up Trent Reznor's "Year Zero" a post-apocalyptic miniseries that he's been working on since Marlyn Manson was still cool. That's a long time for those of you who don't get my mid-to-late 90's sarcasm.

In Real People News: 

A women in South Carolina was arrested on Tuesday for shopping a pair of earrings and two vibrators from Spencer's. I mean I can understand the vibrators but have you seen the jewelry at Spencer's? They're so last season!

On this day in history: 

1982 – The Chicago Tylenol murders begin when the first of seven individuals dies in metropolitan Chicago.

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