the tall man

The Tall Man (REVIEW)

Pascal Laugier's "Martyrs" blew the American horror scene away when it came ashore in 2009. Attempting to bring weight and emotional gravitas to the torture genre, "Martyrs" pummeled audiences with transcendentally brutal visuals and a gut-punch of an ending that people are still arguing about. Whether you liked it for its ambitions or were repulsed by its machinations, "Martyrs" nevertheless left almost everyone waiting to see what Laugier would do with his next horror film.

Unfortunately, we'll have to continue waiting, because "The Tall man" does not fit the bill.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

Before you read today's news I should probably clarify that I am not into tall men or old dudes. Jessica Biel is good looking sure but there's something about her face that kind of throws me off. What can I say, I'm a hard man to please. Uncomfortable yet? Wait till you get to the part where I accuse you of being a jerk because I like "The Big Lebowski".

Get excited folks because there's a now video online with some hot behind the scenes action from the upcoming "Alien" prequel "Prometheus". Now get depressed because there's not one freakin alien to be seen in the clip. There is a lot of Ridley Scott though. So if you're into old guys this video will really do it for you. You should also check out "Cocoon". Tons of old guys in their bathing suits. I won't judge.

"Paranormal Activity 3" is headed to DVD on January 24th and today we've got a stockpile of features that are going to be included. I realize stockpile is not the right word but it sounds really cool so lets just go with it. Both the DVD and Blu-Ray will feature the theatrical and unrated versions of the film and the later will also give a gaggle of additional clips that didn't make it into the film. Alright that's not really much at all is it. This would be the worst stockpile ever imagined if it really was one.

I like Dennis Quaid but I have a tendency to mistake him for Jeff Bridges who I really like, mostly because he was in "The Big Lebowski" and that movie was awesome and I love it. I know I know I'm a hipster prick who references The Dude at least once a day. Well 'Eff you buddy I saw it in the theaters opening weekend so get off my back. Man you're such a jerk sometimes. Here's the trailer for "Beneath The Darkness", which stars Quaid as a local funeral home director with a dark secret. Wow it took us a while to get here didn't it?

And if you're into Jessica Biel, which I'm assuming everyone who isn't into old guys is, here's some new shots from her upcoming flick "The Tall Man". The film is about a small town haunted by the urban legend of a "Tall Man" who kidnaps children. So today we've had old guys, tall men and Jessica Biel. If my news didn't get you all hot and bothered there's a good chance you're already dead.

In Real People News: 

I've always wondered what the shipping costs would be if you die somewhere far from home. I wonder this because there's a good chance I will drop dead in the middle of the World Showcase in EPCOT and have to be FedExed back to New Jersey. Well the costs must be high because here's a story about a guy who opted to drive 225 miles back to Canada after his wife died on their US vacation.

Here's a story about some sort of nuclear waste that is growing and might be alive... or something. Honestly I'm confused as hell by the article but I'm pretty sure the gist is that we're all going to die at the hands of a toxic zombie.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday September 29th, 2010

"Castlevania: Lords of Shadow" comes out next week and this morning there's a new extended trailer for the video game. Can a trailer be 12 minutes long? I don't know if there's specific rules for this kind of thing but there really should be.

In a new interview over at the MTVs Jesse Eisenberg admitted to being mildly excited about "Zombieland 2". It's a bit early to be poo pooing movies in your career Jesse so smile and do the zombie film or I'll be "mildly excited" to see you hooking down by the train tracks for spare change in five years.

If you're like me and are torn between all the hype around "Martyrs" and your extreme hatred for all languages that aren't English you're in luck. The film's director Pascal Laugier has begun principal photography on "The Tall Man", his English language debut. The film stars Jessica Biel and revolves around a small town were children have gone missing with no explanation.

Break out your black eyeliner kids! HBO and BBC have picked up Trent Reznor's "Year Zero" a post-apocalyptic miniseries that he's been working on since Marlyn Manson was still cool. That's a long time for those of you who don't get my mid-to-late 90's sarcasm.

In Real People News: 

A women in South Carolina was arrested on Tuesday for shopping a pair of earrings and two vibrators from Spencer's. I mean I can understand the vibrators but have you seen the jewelry at Spencer's? They're so last season!

On this day in history: 

1982 – The Chicago Tylenol murders begin when the first of seven individuals dies in metropolitan Chicago.

Horror Headlines: Monday May 17th, 2010

Would you like a sure sign that this new fangled 3D trend is going too far? Japanese studio Toei has announced that they are working on a 3D conversion for their classic "Battle Royale". No, not a remake; they're just planning on slapping some 3D effects onto the 10 year old film.

"Martyrs" director Pascal Laugier is bringing us his first US film entitled "The Tall Man", a woman in peril thriller in the vein of "Panic Room". He's bringing some star power with him as well as he has signed Jessica Biel as his leading lady.

Platinum Dunes making an original movie? Oh yes. Paramount, Platinum Dunes and Room 101 are teaming together to bring us a brand spanking new monster movie. Though there are no details of what kind of monster they plan on bringing to life, we are told that Mark L. Smith penned script is reminiscent of such films as "I am Legend", "Aliens" and "Descent".

Kurt Russell plan on scaring us once again as he signs on for the thriller "Undying", playing Virgial, a private investigator lured into a dark an surreal underworld by the mysterious Delia. With a script penned by Greg Whitta and directed by Jon Amiel, this could be a spooky little treat.

In Real People News: 

A Thai protester thought it would be a good idea to use a laser pointer on a group of Thai soldiers. Too bad for him, they mistook it for a laser sight and blew his head off in exchange.

Cryonics company Alcor has won a court battle after a judge orders a family to dig up their father so they could freeze his head, as per his wishes. Unfortunately, even though Alcor says that the man's head is no longer optimal for the freezing process due to decomposition, they figured they'd go ahead and take the issue to court anyways.

On this day in history: 

1965 - Magazine "The Nation" publishes Hunter S. Thompson's first-hand experiences with the Hell's Angels motorcycle club. The bikers would eventually stomp Thompson when they demanded payment for his time spent.

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