the orphanage

BGH Classic Pack - Deep Cuts

For any number of reasons, some episodes of the Bloody Good Horror Podcast have never been available as part of our BGH Classics. Call it a mystery. Call it a conspiracy. Call it laziness. Today, we can call it a thing of the past. We're plugging holes here people!

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Hot pockets kids! Looks like there's a film in the works based on the Matterhorn rollercoaster ride at Disneyland. Currently titled "The Hill" the film will focus on a group travelers who head to the top of a mountain and encounter a bunch of Yeti's on the way down. Then their lap bars hit them in the nuts and they walk around funny for the rest of the day. I added that part but it would make it really authentic to the ride experience so I'm pretty sure they'll include it.

Because the teat isn't completely dry the good people at Lionsgate will be putting out a special 25th anniversary edition of Sam Raimi's
"Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn". In all fairness it'll be on Blu-Ray and it'll have a boat load of new interviews and commentaries but honestly at this point what more can you say. "Oh hey I never noticed that chair in the corner of the room before. Let's talk about that".

Steven Spielberg and Stephen King are teaming up with Showtime to create a new series based on King's 2009 novel "Under the Dome". The story focuses on a group of vacationers in Maine who begin battling after a strange force field appears over their town. Wasn't that the basis of "The Simpsons Movie"? I hope this one is funny too and makes a lot of doughnut references.

Looks like Amy Adams is being eyed by Warner Bros. to take the lead in the upcoming remake of "The Orphanage". Nothing's been confirmed yet but Adams would play the role of a woman who takes over the orphanage where she was raised only to find that the imaginary friends her son is playing with are out to get her. I don't know who played that part in the original and honestly I don't care. There's no way she was as adorable as Amy Adams. Once again the USA makes things better.

In Real People News: 

You never know when love will strike. Sometimes it'll be at a book store, sometimes it'll be at Burger King and other times it'll be in a pool while looking at a sexy inflatable raft. What makes it better is that the Ohio man who is up on charges for having relations with the flotation device was arrested last year for getting it on with an inflatable pumpkin. I wonder if the pumpkin is jealous.

Some people just want to be friends. But apparently it's illegal to send a friend request to a guy who's on trial while you're sitting on the jury. Apparently you can't talk about the trial on your wall either. I think if it was Myspace this guy would have been ok. Myspace is where the deviants hang out.

Horror Headlines: Thursday February 16th, 2011

Michael Stephenson, yes the "Troll 2" Michael Stephenson, will be producing and directing a new dark comedy titled "Destroy". The movie focuses on a man obsessed with hunting and destroying vampires even though they don't exist. Which is obviously fiction because vampires do exist and they have babies with normal people, which I think I might how the "Twilight" series ends. So, spoiler alert! Maybe.

A new clip from "Sharktopus" featuring commentary by Roger Corman has been released in honor of the films DVD release. Corman has a cameo as a beach bum who oogles a girl on the beach which is really how we all like our Corman. Either that way or with a side of cole slaw, I like that Corman too.

Mark Pellington, who I would be mocking for his music video directing work if he hadn't also directed "Arlington Road", says that the script for the English remake of "The Orphanage" is actually better than the original. He goes on to say that he's getting a little antsy to get this thing going and wants to close on a leading lady ASAP. Having never seen the original and not knowing much about the remake I'm going to confidently say the girl who played Six on "Blossom" would be perfect.

I can't think of one time Woody Harrelson has been wrong so when he talks about "Zombieland 2" and says he's "not sure it's the right thing to do." I believe him. I would also believe him if he told me that the sky is red and bleach is perfectly fine to drink too though, so maybe I'm not the best judge of people. In any case the future of the film is rocky at best but as of right now is moving forward.

In Real People News: 

Singing pornographic songs to kids is always funny, that's a fact that any college scholar will tell you. So I'm shocked and disturbed to find that a 21 year old man in Michigan is being brought up on charges of manufacturing child sexually abusive material after he posted a video on youtube of him singing a dirty song spliced with video of kids in a classroom. Even more troubling is that the video has been taken down.

A Massachusetts man is being forced to undergo a psychiatric evaluation after he threatened two men with a hatchet in a local Wal-Mart. Honestly though have you ever talked to a Boston sports fan? Two seconds of listening to any of them and I want to take a hatched to anyone within a 5 mile radius.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 1st, 2010

If you were one of the few people that were still concerned over the whereabouts of Jill Valentine in "Resident Evil: Afterlife", fear not; a new teaser poster confirms that Sienna Guillory will be returning to the role.

Indie films draw inspiration from odd places but "Last Supper: The Russelville Hacksaw Murders" takes the cake. Based on a line of dialog from John Carpenter's original "Halloween", the movie is about Charlie Bowles, a respected Russelville theater owner who decides to go nuts on the town.

Shannon Doherty isn't letting her early loss on "Dancing With the Stars" hold her down. The actress has now named her next project, the animated web series entitled "Mari-Kari" for FearNET.

This weekend director Guillermo Del Toro announced that he will be stepping away from the "Hobbit" films. For the story's genre slant, the director will be concentrating on a US Remake of "The Orphanage" and is rumored to be looking at "In The Mountains of Madness" as his next project.

Xbox Live fans, keep your eyes peeled on the Arcade this summer as they prepare to bring us possibly the greatest zombie cross over ever. This summer will see the release of RISK: Factions. The first faction we'll be facing off against in classic RISK game play? Zombies of course.

In Real People News: 

Bangladeshi prostitutes have been discovered to be taking a cattle based steroid called Oradexon to make themselves more competitive in the 800 girl strong brothels. Facing many clients a day, the girls feel that the cattle steroid makes them stronger for the days work as well as making them bigger since Bangladeshi men seem to favor large women.

Daly City policemen go searching for the proverbial needle in a haystack as they try and track down who was selling tainted drugs at the local Cow Palace Rave which left 1 person dead and 5 others in critical condition. At last count, they know of at least 70 people selling drugs on site that night.

On this day in history: 

2001 - In just two minutes, Nepal's royal family is nearly exterminated by one of its own. With a selection of machine guns, Crown Prince Dipendra massacres eight relatives, including King Birendra and Queen Aishwarya. He then turns the gun on himself. Even though Dipendra winds up comatose in a hospital bed, a government council crowns him king anyway. The new monarch dies three days later.

Horror Headlines: Monday January 4th, 2010

Mark Pellington, director of "The Mothman Prophecies" and "Arlington Road" has been slated to direct the US remake of "The Orphanage".

Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. will begin filming in March on his big budget prequel to John Carpenter's "The Thing". Merging directly with the original film, the prequel will concentrate on the Norwegian camp who's final survivors were found in the original film.

As Adam Green plows ahead on his two new features "Frozen" and "Hatchet 2", you can follow along on his freshly minted production blog.

Quirk books is so happy with their recent "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" success that they've announced a print sequel for March entitled "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls".

In Real People News: 

A middle school teacher is facing charges after restraining an 11 year old student with zip ties.

A jittery police officer tazes a man after being struck by the assailant's forearm. The thing is, the assailant was in the midst of an insulin shock induced seizure.

Horror Headlines: Thursday November 19th, 2009

In case you missed it the first time around, a new feature trailer for Rick Jacobson's B-movie homage "Bitch Slap" has surfaced online. The film's selling point: cleavage. Lots and lots of cleavage.

Fans of the After Dark Horrofest, rejoice! The official website is now live, and packed with all sorts of time-wasting content. Whether or not this latest batch of indie horror is worth your precious time remains to be seen.

Indie director Larry Fessenden has reportedly walked away from New Line's remake of "The Orphanage." Here's hoping this derails the project altogether.

Are you starting to run out of things to do in "Borderlands?" If so, Gearbox has scheduled the release of the downloadable expansion pack "The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned" for November 24th,, which means you'll be able to slaughter mountains of zombies while scarfing plate after plate of Thanksgiving goodies.

In Real People News: 

An 82 year-old woman fends off a pair of robbers using a brush, a bible, and her false teeth. In other news, I'm strangely aroused.

In case you were wondering why Kentucky is the greatest state in the country, a Boone County man was arrested for allegedly masturbating to a wrestling video at the local library. Thanks for making me proud.

Newsflash: If your lovely wife attempts to murder you on three separate occasions, perhaps it's time to file for divorce. I'm just saying.

On this day in history: 

1703 - The mysterious Man in the Iron Mask, a prisoner of Louis XIV, passes away in captivity. To this day, his identity remains a source of much debate.

Episode 26 - "The Orphanage"

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The crew reviews the Spanish film "The Orphanage" in celebration of Mother's Day. Wait, what?

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