disneyland

Disney is making a "Haunted Mansion" Cartoon Special and It's Going to Be Awesome and You Can Shut Your Mouth

If there's one thing I love in this world, other than the whole family thing and stuff, it's Disney. It makes me happy and when I'm at the parks I smile like a mental patient and if you don't enjoy that sort of thing I assume you're dead inside and listen to a lot of Radiohead.

And if there's one thing I love in the parks more than anything, it's the Haunted Mansion ride. Now, the good people at Disney have announced they're working with illustrator Gris Grimly and "Phineas and Ferb" co-creator Dan Povenmireon on a animated special for their Disney Channel.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Hot pockets kids! Looks like there's a film in the works based on the Matterhorn rollercoaster ride at Disneyland. Currently titled "The Hill" the film will focus on a group travelers who head to the top of a mountain and encounter a bunch of Yeti's on the way down. Then their lap bars hit them in the nuts and they walk around funny for the rest of the day. I added that part but it would make it really authentic to the ride experience so I'm pretty sure they'll include it.

Because the teat isn't completely dry the good people at Lionsgate will be putting out a special 25th anniversary edition of Sam Raimi's
"Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn". In all fairness it'll be on Blu-Ray and it'll have a boat load of new interviews and commentaries but honestly at this point what more can you say. "Oh hey I never noticed that chair in the corner of the room before. Let's talk about that".

Steven Spielberg and Stephen King are teaming up with Showtime to create a new series based on King's 2009 novel "Under the Dome". The story focuses on a group of vacationers in Maine who begin battling after a strange force field appears over their town. Wasn't that the basis of "The Simpsons Movie"? I hope this one is funny too and makes a lot of doughnut references.

Looks like Amy Adams is being eyed by Warner Bros. to take the lead in the upcoming remake of "The Orphanage". Nothing's been confirmed yet but Adams would play the role of a woman who takes over the orphanage where she was raised only to find that the imaginary friends her son is playing with are out to get her. I don't know who played that part in the original and honestly I don't care. There's no way she was as adorable as Amy Adams. Once again the USA makes things better.

In Real People News: 

You never know when love will strike. Sometimes it'll be at a book store, sometimes it'll be at Burger King and other times it'll be in a pool while looking at a sexy inflatable raft. What makes it better is that the Ohio man who is up on charges for having relations with the flotation device was arrested last year for getting it on with an inflatable pumpkin. I wonder if the pumpkin is jealous.

Some people just want to be friends. But apparently it's illegal to send a friend request to a guy who's on trial while you're sitting on the jury. Apparently you can't talk about the trial on your wall either. I think if it was Myspace this guy would have been ok. Myspace is where the deviants hang out.

Horror Headlines: Monday December 20th, 2010

It's time to get excited! Thousands of white trash tattoos will once again be cool now that the artist H.R. Giger has agreed to come on board to help develop the as yet untitled "Alien" prequel. Even more surprising? H.R. Giger is still alive! Who knew!?

It's always nice when the big Hollywood types fess up to their short comings. Like Mr. Sam Worthington who has finally gone on record as saying maybe the "Clash of the Titans" remake was kind of crap. He has yet to apologize for having the dreamiest eyes in the world though.

And just when you thought the Zombies have done it all a movie comes along called "Ninja Zombies". The film is apparently about a group of ninjas, that are also zombies. You probably could have guessed that from the title, but then I have no reason to be here. You wouldn't do that to me, would you?

If you don't like Disney and all their magic then you are a whiny little prick who hates fun and all things good. That's a fact. As a horror fan how could you not be excited to see them putting together a movie about the "Museum of the Weird"? The film is based on a Disneyland attraction that never was. If you have bad things to say about this I will fight you.

In Real People News: 

It seems obvious that if you're shooting a movie in a city and you shoot up a car you don't just leave that car sitting in the middle of a street. But I guess the folks filming in Philadelphia didn't think there would be any concern when they walked away from their blown out vehicles with wires hanging out of them. So the cops called a bomb squad. Silly Philadelphia.

Never go to bed angry my friends. It's a solid way to keep a relationship going and an even better to way to make sure your lady doesn't light your crotch on fire while you're sleeping. You're welcome for the advice.

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