woody harrelson

Horror Headlines: Monday, December 5th, 2011

A new week is upon us my friends and I for one think it's going to be our best yet. Why you might ask? Well for starters I got the perfect amount of sleep this past week. I can't say for sure because I'm not some sort of scientist but I think that might have something to do with the ridiculous amount of White Russians I drank Saturday and Sunday night. It was an amazing sight my friends. Me setting up the Christmas tree with my 5 month old daughter strapped to my chest in one of those man-harnesses. Alternating between White Russians and beer the entire time.

Allan Loeb wrote the script for "21", which was alright. He also wrote the script for "Just Go with It" which was 100% not alright. So I'm not sure what to make of "San Andreas 3D", a new script he just finished about a giant earthquake that hits the famous area of land. I can't imagine it's that hard to write a 3D earthquake flick so I think we might be alright here. "The building falls and it's like RIGHT in your face and stuff. Then some rocks fall now they're in your face too. Man, it's scary." I could do this for a living.

Someone in Hollywood is playing with my tender tender emotions. If my love for Woody Harrelson is equal to anything it's my extreme hatred for Lenny Kravitz. Well alright truth be told I don't really love or hate either one of those guys but this post about their new photos from "Hunger Games" would be boring as hell without a little Joe spice, wouldn't it.

"The Summer of Massacre" is a new film coming your way and for the life of me I can't figure out if the title is actually English or not. Meaning it sounds like something a group of Germans would call their family video of their trip to NYC if one of them happened to get attacked and killed by a homeless man. The film is about a group of killers who go on a rampage but the exciting news here is that the film has officially been confirmed by the Guinness Book of World Records to have the highest body count of any movie in the history of time. So how about that! The movies in the book right next to those two fat twins who ride motorcycles.

Booo Universal Studios Orlando, BOOO! On Friday the park announced that it would be officially closing it's Jaws attraction after over 20 years of magic. No word as of yet on what attraction will be replacing the long running boat ride but unless it has a giant mechanical shark that jumps out of the water and is called "Jaws" I'm not going to be happy. What's worse is they plan on closing the ride on January 2nd, two years before my next planned trip. I think out of respect that could at least keep it open a few more years for me. They owe me at least that much.

In Real People News: 

Nice Chicago, NICE! A local news anchor of the windy city is in hot water with the locals after announcing that there is no Santa Clause during the evening news. Of course now I've also announced it so maybe I should apologize too. Then again if you're letting your kid read this you should probably apologize to him or her also. Or at least don't come crying to me when your toddler asks what "dry humping" is.

Here's an adorable little story about a female Boston area professor who has been arrested for running a meth lab out of her house. That article I'm taking this from already used the "Breaking Bad" reference so I'm really not sure where to go with this. Anyway I'm sure you're still kind of sick from the "Joe spice" comment I made early so let's just call it a day.

Horror Headlines: Thursday November 10th, 2011

The plot for "Seven Psychopaths" might be the most confusing thing I've ever read but it also might have the greatest cast ever. The film is about a screen writer who finds inspiration when he gets caught up in a dog napping ring that mistakenly takes a psychopathic gangsters Shih Tzu. Still with me? Now to the cast, Woody Harrelson , Tom Waits and Olga Kurylenko have just been confirmed to join Colin Farrell, Christopher Walken and Sam Rockwell in the film. It's like the heavens read my diary and put together my perfect dream date.

If you loved "The Jungle Book 2" then you're going to want to sit down for this one. Writer Evan Spiliotopoulos, who also penned "The Lion King 1½" has been tapped to write the script for the upcoming big screen adaptation of the classic video game "Asteroids". Matt Lopez has already taken a pass but when you get a chance to work with the guy who wrote the script to the direct to video follow up to some classic Disney cartoons then you don't pass it up. That's just logic.

Ah crap! It looks like Robert Zemeckis has decided to step down as the as the director of the upcoming sea monster flick "Here There Be Monsters". No replacement has been picked and as of right now no reason has been given for Zemeckis' departure. I keep calling him but he must be busy or something. I'll keep trying though and let you know what I find out.

I trust everyone named Max. It's just a rule I live by. So even though I don't know a single thing Max Borenstein has done I still trust him to write the script for the upcoming remake/reboot of "Godzilla" for the Legendary Pictures. I'm not sure if they took my opinion into consideration while making their decision but I like to think they did.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to off yourself you want to do it in a big way. Like this guy in Texas who slit his wrists, stripped naked, doused himself in gasoline, and set himself on fire while sitting in his car on the side of the highway. Of course he survived and is now in the hospital but you can't say he didn't give it his all.

When you're 18 years old you'll do anything for some hot lovin. Like hopping on a bus and traveling from Arizona to Milwaukee to meet a girl you found online who said she'd do you. Unfortunately when you're a 21 year old female looking for a guy you and your roommate can chain up and cut repeatedly in a weird satanic sex ritual all you have to do is hop online and find a 18 year old to travel to Milwaukee to Arizona. At the end of the day the 18 year old got over 300 cuts and a script for what might be the worst eHarmony commercial ever.

Horror Headlines: Thursday February 16th, 2011

Michael Stephenson, yes the "Troll 2" Michael Stephenson, will be producing and directing a new dark comedy titled "Destroy". The movie focuses on a man obsessed with hunting and destroying vampires even though they don't exist. Which is obviously fiction because vampires do exist and they have babies with normal people, which I think I might how the "Twilight" series ends. So, spoiler alert! Maybe.

A new clip from "Sharktopus" featuring commentary by Roger Corman has been released in honor of the films DVD release. Corman has a cameo as a beach bum who oogles a girl on the beach which is really how we all like our Corman. Either that way or with a side of cole slaw, I like that Corman too.

Mark Pellington, who I would be mocking for his music video directing work if he hadn't also directed "Arlington Road", says that the script for the English remake of "The Orphanage" is actually better than the original. He goes on to say that he's getting a little antsy to get this thing going and wants to close on a leading lady ASAP. Having never seen the original and not knowing much about the remake I'm going to confidently say the girl who played Six on "Blossom" would be perfect.

I can't think of one time Woody Harrelson has been wrong so when he talks about "Zombieland 2" and says he's "not sure it's the right thing to do." I believe him. I would also believe him if he told me that the sky is red and bleach is perfectly fine to drink too though, so maybe I'm not the best judge of people. In any case the future of the film is rocky at best but as of right now is moving forward.

In Real People News: 

Singing pornographic songs to kids is always funny, that's a fact that any college scholar will tell you. So I'm shocked and disturbed to find that a 21 year old man in Michigan is being brought up on charges of manufacturing child sexually abusive material after he posted a video on youtube of him singing a dirty song spliced with video of kids in a classroom. Even more troubling is that the video has been taken down.

A Massachusetts man is being forced to undergo a psychiatric evaluation after he threatened two men with a hatchet in a local Wal-Mart. Honestly though have you ever talked to a Boston sports fan? Two seconds of listening to any of them and I want to take a hatched to anyone within a 5 mile radius.

DVD: Zombieland comes home

The one solid horror film released this Halloween season will finally be released on DVD February 2nd, with the following specs. There is currently a sequel being filmed in 3D.

• Commentary with Actors Woody Harrelson & Jesse Eisenberg, Director Ruben Fleischer, Writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick
• Go Behind-the-Scenes with "In Search of Zombieland"
• "Zombieland is Your Land" - The zombification of the United States
• Deleted Scenes
• Visual Effects Progression Scenes
• Theatrical Promo Trailers
• Woke Up Dead Episode "Up and At ‘Em"

Episode 92 - "Zombieland"

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It's "Zombieland" time, bitches!

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

Horror Headlines: Wednesday August 12th, 2009

Frank Darabont is looking to shoot an adaptation of the graphic novel series "The Walking Dead", as a television series for AMC. That's one you don't hear every day.

Check out some decent "Zombieland" virals, each one containing a Zombieland "rule", brought to you by Woody Harrelson. Not the worst thing I've ever seen.

"2001 Maniacs: Beverly Hellbillys", the sequel to Tim Sullivan's "2001 Maniacs", has officially wrapped shooting. Expect to hear more from this project in the near future.

Do I want to see a horror/comedy called "Dahmer vs Gacey"? Well, no actually, I don't. But I'll let you make up your own mind.

In Real People News: 

Ah man, there are some things you just don't do, and groping Minnie Mouse is one of them. The Magic Kingdom definitely frowns upon that sort of thing.

Why is it that no matter what the story is, The Daily Mail finds a way to compare it to "Dr. Who"? What do you guys get like 1 television station over there?

Florida man arrested for child porn, blames it on his cat. Surprisingly, the authorities weren't convinced.

On this day in history: 

30 BC: Cleoptara, Queen of Egypt and former wife to Julius Caesar, commits suicide by means of venomous snakebite to the mammary gland.

Redband "Zombieland" Trailer

I think I have found my most anticipated film of the year and it has a lot to do with Woody Harrelson, a wiley cowboy type with a chainsaw, the backup cast that sports that awkward kid from "Adventureland", and two kickass bitches with hearts of gold, one of which you will recognize from "Little Miss Sunshine".

"Zombieland" Trailer Is The Shit

The trailer for Woody Harrelson's epic zombie romp "Zombieland" hit the web tonight. Sure it looks a lot like "Shaun of the Dead 2", but I can't lie, I'm totally sold on this hot mess. Leave that feedback in the comments, friends.

Horror Headlines: Monday apriil 27th, 2009

Here's the trailer for "The Cell 2". So ya, that happened. The film goes direct to DVD on June 16th.

A list of the schools that will be used as external locations for the "Nightmare on Elm St." remake shoot, which will apparently be shot in Chicago. Area students over 16 are welcome to audition as extras. The film begins shooting May 5th under the direction of Samuel Bayer.

Bill Murray to have a cameo in Woody Harrelson's zomcom "Zombieland", a film which just got a lot cooler.

Here's your "bang your head off your desk" story for Monday morning. "Videodrome" is being remade at Universal as a "large-scale sci-fi thriller". Oh boy, that's up there with one of the worst sentences I've ever had to type on this site.

But wait... there's more to this story than meets the eye. Universal has also put Gore Verbinski's adaptation of "Bioshock" on hiatus because of money concerns. So let's recap. The same company that doesn't have money for the amazing original property "Bioshock", does have the money to remake a dumbed down version of "Videodrome" as some sort of big budget action/sci-fi movie. Kind of gives you the warm & fuzzies, doesn't it?

It's being reported that Robert Rodriguez is aiming to shoot "Machete", the full version of his "Grindhouse" trailer, in June. Danny Trejo to star. This should be interesting.

In Real People News: 

Japanese pop star found naked in a public park in Tokyo, screaming his fool head off about how there was "nothing wrong with being naked". Certainly not. Carry on.

I'm not a huge science fiction fan, but I've seen enough of the films to know that anything being described as a "space blob" is bad news. Trust me.

On this day in history: 

1940: Heinrich Himmler gives orders to construct a concentration camp in Oswiecim, Poland. Only 14 months later, Auschwitz is open for business.

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