Everly

Horror Headlines: Monday May 13th, 2013

Red Sea Media has made the smart move of picking up the distribution right to "Squirrels", a new film about a small town being terrorized by the fuzzy little nut munchers. Produced by the same folks that brought you "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" there's no word on a cast yet but I think if Tiffany is free she's a sure fire lock to play the leading lady. Keep your fingers crossed.

Mother of god. Warner Bros has picked up the rights to Ryan Gosling's directorial debut titled "How To Catch a Monster". Need more? Christina Hendricks has signed on as the leading lady for the film about a mother whose son discovers a secret road leading to the underworld. I swear to god my keyboard just burst into flames from all this sex.

Salma Hayek is confirmed to be starring in "Everly", a new film from the one and only Joe Lynch. The film is about a woman who must fight her way through a horde of assassins sent by her mob boss ex. What's the interesting point here is that the entire film will be shot in one room which now that I think of it makes me think this entire thing was just one big creepy way for Joe Lynch to be able to lock himself in a room with Selma Hayek for a month.

Joe Dante is teaming up with Simon Pegg for a big screen adaptation of "Casting the Runes" by M.R. James. The story follows a blogger who's investigating the suicide of a celebrity and the self help guru connected to the death. The story was originally written close to 100 years ago which is amazing because they didn't even have the internet back then so how the hell would anyone know what a blogger is? This James guy must have had ESPN or some crap.

In Real People News: 

A 31 year old sex ed teacher in Texas is accused of having sex with two 13 year old students. Seems kind of obvious really.

A Phoenix woman is under arrest after she killed a man by running him over with her car and then called 911 to report the damage. Yes she was drunk and yes her mug shot is amazing.

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