John Cusak

The Raven (REVIEW)

The Raven

If a 19th-century serial killer/detective story based on the genre writing of Edgar Allen Poe feels like a weird match for a director whose previous credits include "Ninja Assassin" and work on virtually every Wachowski Brothers film, then director James McTeigue would probably suggest you take a pass on "The Raven." Likely imagined as a mix between Depp's "From Hell" and the Downey Jr "Sherlock Holmes" films, McTeigue's John Cusak vehicle manages to impersonate neither of those films well enough to pass muster.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 8th, 2011

Good news Harry Potter fans! Mr. Elijah Wood has been confirmed to be taking on the lead role in the upcoming "Maniac" remake. Yes I know he didn't play the little wizard boy but now that I mention it they do kind of look alike right? Man it's fun to do things. A remake of the 1980 cult classic, Wood will play the role of a serial killer who stalks his pray while experiencing strange hallucinations. Avada Kedavra!

Ryan O'Nan is the latest name to be added to the ever growing cast list of "Frozen Ground". The film, which stars John Cusak and Nicolas Cage tells the story of a real life serial killer who hunted people like game on his land in Alaska. O'Nan will play a state trooper who helps with the hunt. I don't think I've ever seen a movie this guy was in so I'm really drawing a blank on any witty comments. I'm sorry I've let you down.

It's time to throw another shrimp on the barbie and drink a spot of tea! Why you might ask? Because the 1978 Australian flick "Patrick" is getting the remake treatment. The movie, which tells the story of a man who starts to flex his psychokinetic powers when he goes into a coma after killing his mother and her lover, will have a release date sometime in 2012 and will be directed by Mark Hartley. A cast is already shaping up and right now I don't see Paul Hogan's name anywhere on the list but I assume it's only a matter of time.

NBC has given the thumbs up to a new series titled "Hannibal" which will be based on everyone's favorite cannibal Hannibal Lecter. The show will skip the whole pilot process and go directly to 13 episodes in the hopes that the kids will go gaga for it. Not little kids though. It would be weird if you sat a 3 year old down to watch a show about a guy who eats people. That's just how I parent though. I'm not judging you.

In Real People News: 

We've all been so in love that when our better half decides to leave us we feel like ending it all. If you're going to go all the way though pick a better solution then this guy in Florida who decided to overdose on Flintstone Vitamins. Not only will you not die, you'll probably be in better shape and might even live forever.

A Texas mechanic is in hot water after he took a bunch of up-skirt photos of a costumer while she was waiting for her... lube job. not going to lie, I'm a little confused. Based on numerous movies I was under the impression girls not only enjoyed this sort of thing while at the auto shop, they rewarded it in a big big way.

Horror Headlines: Friday October 7th, 2011

The first trailer for "The Raven" staring John Cusak has hit the tubes my friend and it's chock full of birdy goodness. I think at least. Honestly I couldn't even watch the trailer because it kept locking up my computer. I can tell you the movie tells the tale of Edger Allen Poe who joins forces with a detective to stop a serial killer. You enjoy the trailer though and let me know how it goes.

Robert Zemeckis has set his eyes on "Charles Fort" as his next project. A period piece that tells the story of early-twentieth-century ghost hunter, the movie will be based on the Dark Horse comic of the same name. I wish I had something sarcastic to say about this but it just sounds so darn delightful.

Show of hands, who out there hasn't had a Tara Reid/Cloris Leachman three way fantasy? No one, that's what I thought. Well get excited because they're both on the new poster for "The Fields", a film set in 1973 that tells the true story of a Pennsylvania family who are terrorized by a strange presence in their corn field. I could sop this poster up with a biscuit! I realize that makes no sense.

Blah blah blah Rob Zombie blah blah blah "Lords of Salem" casting blah blah blah Billy Drago blah blah blah creepy guy from "The Untouchables".

In Real People News: 

Like candy but hate all the spooky connotations surrounding Halloween? Well you're in luck! This year you can celebrate Jesusween with a bunch of wack jobs who believe... well I'm not 100% sure what they believe but I'm 99% sure it will end with a military stand off and some sort of death pact.

Remember when you played football in middle school and you had to walk past the other team after the game and say "good game" to them? The funny guys would always say crap like "'eff you" and whatnot instead? Well here's a funny guy from Ohio who decided to put a tack on his glove and give the entire opposing team a make-shift stigmata. What a hoot!

Horror Headlines: Thursday July 28th, 2011

Looks like "Tales From the Crypt" might be headed back to the little screen sometime in the not too distant future. But before you go getting your Crypt Keeper thong dusted off you should know that the series will in no way resemble the original series that went off the air some 15 years ago. The show will be an hour long series with a continuous storyline focusing on characters from the comic book, meaning no anthology here. The project still needs to be pitched to networks so there's a good chance this might not even land on HBO. God willing it'll at least be on cable though. No blood and boobs would just be sad.

Everyone's favorite cuddly Brit Simon Pegg is set to star in a new horror comedy title "A Fantastic Fear of Everything". The movie will follow a children's novelist turned crime scribe who is researching serial killers and becomes paranoid that the world is out to get him. I hope he ends up combining the two genres and eventually begins fearing little baby murderers because that would be adorable.

While we all sit and wait patiently for a "Con Air" sequel it looks like Nicolas Cage and John Cusak are teaming up for a new film titled "Frozen Ground". The movie is based on the true story of serial killer Robert Hansen who abducted 24 women, let them loose in the Alaskan wilderness and hunted them. Cusak will play Hansen and Cage will pay the law man who cracks the case. So it's kind of like "Con Air" if it had made you want to cry in the shower for an hour or so after watching it.

Legendary director Robert Zemeckis is in talks to get behind the camera again for a new sea beast flick currently titled "Here There Be Monsters". The films story focuses on Revolutionary War naval fighter John Paul Jones and his battle with sea monsters. I can't confirm this but I think it's based on a true story. The film is still in it's early stages but I'm already excited for the "Sea Men" jokes on the podcast.

In Real People News: 

An Arizona man is under arrest after he reportedly murdered his girlfriend after she confessed to cheating on him and then proceeded to continue living with her for about two months. But that would have to smell you might be thinking. Don't worry, he covered her in carpet cleaner and deodorizer. Problem solved.

And here's a warm little story about a man who took the only action you really can when you're refused alcohol at a restaurant because you're too intoxicated. He took out his manhood and shook it at the waiter. Just a warning though that the "only action" is also very much illegal and will get you tossed in jail.

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