terminator

I could have sworn Kevin Smith retired 12 years ago but he keeps putting crap out so I'm assuming it's like a Jay-Z type retirement where you announce it to get some attention and then just keep on doing the same crap you've always done. Case in point. "Comes the Krampus!", a new holiday anthology flick he just finished the screenplay for that focuses on everyone's favorite Scandinavian Christmas time monster that eats kids instead of bringing them presents. No real word on next steps for the project but it's planned for a holiday release sometime in the next 10 years.

ABC has green lit the pilot for "The Visitors", a new series based on a Ray Bradbury short story titled "Zero Hour". In the story the fine people of earth try to fend off an alien attack where the little green men use our own children against us. Seems completely plausible. The other day my 2 year old hit me in the crotch with a Doc McStuffins doll so hard I blacked out for 15 seconds. I can only assume she was being controlled by aliens.

Christian Serratos, who you probably remember from "Twilight", is the latest name to be added to the upcoming fourth season of "The Walking Dead". She'll play Rosita Espinosa (Muy caliente!) a survivor who runs into our merry gang of zombie killers. Just kidding, if you remember her from "Twilight" then you're a loser and you like loser things! Just kidding again, team Jacob 4 life.

"Insidious 3" has been confirmed to be happening now that "Insidious: Chapter 2" pulled in $41 million this past weekend. Leigh Whannell will once again pen the script but no word on if James Wan will once again return to direct. One thing is for sure though, I will most likely come up with a half assed excuse as to why I can't see it for the podcast. No, but seriously, I had a lot crap going on this weekend. You don't know me!

The big screen adaptation of "Dark Places" has added Drea de Matteo, of "Sopranos" fame, to its ever growing cast list. Based on the book by the same name, the film tells the story of a woman who's forced to revisit the events of her families murder when she was 7 and the brother who she testified against as the murderer. Charlize Theron and Christina Hendricks are also in the movie... Boobs.

Universal has picked up Lee Shipman and Brian McGreevy to pen the script to another remake of H.G. Wells' "The Island Of Dr. Moreau". Why the hell not huh?

It's probably been more than 20 years since I saw "Jacob's Ladder" and I'm not going to lie, it confused the holy living hell out of me. IMDB tells me it's about a Vietnam vet who starts to go nutso and seeings weird ass crap after the loss of his child. Not in those words exactly but you get the idea. My point here is I keep meaning to go back and watch the film again but now I don't have to because a remake is on it's way. Jeff Buhler, the fella who wrote "Midnight Meat Train", will pen the script and god willing he will dumb it down so I can understand it.

David Bowie has been offered a role on the next season of "Hannibal" according to the show's creators. No word yet on if Mr. Stardust will take the role, but word has it he would be playing Hannibal's uncle on the second season of the NBC show. The good news here is I use to not really like David Bowie and now after hearing his music for about 30 years I've grown to really enjoy his work. So look out "Hannibal" producers, you might just have a new fan come 2043.

2011 has already been a stellar year for the homeless and now everyone's favorite movie "Hobo With a Shotgun" is coming home to DVD and Blu-Ray. July 5th will be the date you can get your grubby little fingerless gloved mits on the 2 disc DVD or Blu-Ray that features all kinds of interviews, commentaries and other filthy treasures. Catch the hobo fever!

Well they can't all be zingers my friends. Chris Landon is once again confirmed to be partnering up with Michael Perry to write "Paranormal Activity 3" after there were rumors that he had dropped out of the project. The duo wrote the previous film in the series and while they haven't promised it, I'm hoping will once again cast a rampaging pool cleaner. Keep your fingers crossed.

For being so friendly the Swedes sure are a sick bunch of M'Fers. Proven completely by the new trailer for "Marianne" which has hit the tubes. The film tells the story of a father who's trying to cope with the loss of his wife, a couple daughters who hate him and the spooking happenings going on in his house. It's a real feel good hit.

Looks like Intrepid Pictures, who helped bring "The Strangers" and "Doomsday" to the world are lining up "Skeleton Creek" as their next flick. The movie is apparently a teen romp based on some books that I've never heard of but I guess the kids are gaga for them. It's a group of kids who come across a ghost while exploring an abandon gold mine. I'm pretty sure this was the basis of every live action Disney movie in the 70's. I hope Don Knotts is in this one.