robert englund

Horror Headlines: Wednesday July 3rd, 2013

Hideo Nakata, the guy who made "Ringu", has signed on to direct the remake of the Korean film "Haunters". The film is about a man who can control people with his mind and the one guy who seems to be immune to him. It's also about me thinking the titled was "Hunters" at first. That really doesn't make any difference here though. Just a fun fact.

Tomorrow is the 4th of July. Pretty much everyone has checked out at this point. News is slow. "ThanksKilling 3" is coming to DVD in October, just in time for Halloween. By the team you read this I'll probably be drunk.

"Fear Clinic" is a new movie that will star Robert Englund and Danielle Harris if you help fund it. The film will focus on a group of patients undergoing a special treatment that shows them their greatest fears in order to cure them. Funny enough, my greatest fear is a love scene between England and Harris. How much do I have to donate for that not to happen?

Do you want to see fan art for the movie "Carrie"? No me either but Screen Gems has launched a tumblr site where fans can upload and view each others art. Look I said it's a slow day alright.

In Real People News: 

Sorry Huntsville Stars fans, that's in Alabama for you folks playing at home, but the team has decided to cancel their gun raffle which was supposed to take place during an upcoming game. I assume the pocket knife giveaway night is still on though.

If you see on the news that your dentist was found in a McDonald's parking lot high out of her mind with a child in the car you might want to think about postponing that cleaning. Then again, this is Tennessee so the chances of you actually having teeth are pretty slim.

Horror Headlines: Friday October 12th, 2012

Three days in a row, son. And they said I'd never amount to anything. Suck it Mr. Reynolds!

NBC has landed "Lost" writer Carlton Cuse (awful name) to pen the script for their new supernatural Western show "The 6th Gun". The show is about... well it's about six guns that hold mystical powers and one of them falls into the hands of a girl and then bad stuff happens or something. I don't know, it's based on a comic, I assume there's giant boobs and other things that are sexy in comic form but only in your mom's basement.

Robert Englund and Malcolm McDowell, two guys who randomly pop up in just about every horror movie and no one has any idea why, together at last in one film. Truth be told there's a solid chance they've been in a movie together before but I have no motivation to do any research on that. The film is "Sanitarium" and it's a new anthology flick about 3 different patients in a mental hospital. It also stars Lou Diamond Phillips who I honestly believe is the nicest man ever invented. He's also La Bamba.

Speaking of people who were on one episode of the short lived "Adam's Family" TV show reboot, Keegan Connor Tracy has been confirmed to be joining the cast of "Bates Motel". The show comes from the folks over at A&E and the pale little minx will play Norman's teacher. We were talking about "The New Adams Family" right?

I loved the show "Deadwood" more than life itself and therefore anything that Ian McShane does is pure gold. You can't argue it. So his guest spot on "American Horror Story: Asylum" will be gold. The show will be gold, the episode will be gold and the tears of joy I cry as he prances across the tiny screen will be solid gold. It's going to hurt.

In Real People News: 

Apparently you can use a stun gun on the pizza delivery guy no matter how funny it is. The things I learn from writing the news... it could fill a website where someone posts horror news with a couple real life news items every day.

Let this be a lesson to you all. When you're cooking your squirrel please don't use a propane torch. This guy in Michigan burned down 8 apartments. You do that crap with a trash can fire like a real hobo.

Inkubus (REVIEW)

Scoring an iconic actor for your low budget film serves as a double edged sword. A noted presence with an accomplished resume lends instant credibility to your production. The flip side is his presence can serve as a reminder of your own production doesn't hold up to his or her salad days. Such is the case with Glenn Ciano's “Inkubus”, a new slasher with Robert Englund in the title role. Englund's spirited performance elevates the material, but can't detract from the film’s flaws.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, April 4th, 2011

It's hump day! Get out ya jimmy hats.

Abigail Breslin, who stole our hearts in "Little Miss Sunshine" has officially been confirmed to be taking the lead in Vincenzo Natali's new flick "Haunter". The story revolves around a girl who dies tragically in the late 80's and reaches out from beyond the grave to help a family avoid the same fate. If she tripped over a Rubik's Cube or something and fell down the stairs, I think the coast is clear on a repeat.

Here's a good one. "Sucker" is a new flick from the gentleman who played Wyatt in the "Weird Science" TV series. That's not even a joke. What's the film about you might ask? Why, just your average run of the mill man-turning-into-a-giant-mosquito that's all. Is it kind of a rip off of "The Fly"? Maybe. But it still sounds pretty cool and Lloyd Kaufman is in the cast. I don't know what else you people want.

I'm not trying to be the guy who doesn't like the movie that everyone likes here but I did not care for "Avatar". There, I said it. In all fairness I didn't see it in the theaters so maybe that's it. I kind of wanted the army guys to win. Those blue people were annoying. So I'm not that devastated by the news that "Avatar 2" will most likely not hit it's December 2014 release date. I also don't really like "Day Of the Dead". God, it feels good to get all this out there.

In a recent interview the burned one himself Robert Englund waxed poetic (I don't think I'm useing that right)... (that's what she said) about the "Nightmare on Elm Street" prequel that never came to be. Apparently there was even a script floating around about the events that led up to Freddy coming to be the nightmare stalker but the fat cats in Hollywood never got it off the ground. Stupid fat cats and their fat cat love of fat cat food. That makes no sense, I know.

In Real People News: 

Good to know: Apparently the sentence for trying to yank an elderly man off the toilet by his genitals in the nursing home you work at in Minnesota is 45 days in jail. Keep that in mind.

An Iowa man is in hot water after we was caught on camera peeing on the office chairs of his "attractive" co-workers. Somewhere in Iowa right now there's a woman sitting in an office sobbing because her chair doesn't smell like piss.

Horror Headlines: Thursday November 3rd, 2011

I'm not sure a logo is actually news but here's the new one for the "Evil Dead" reboot that will at least give people a chance to bitch about there being a reboot. The flick won't hit theaters till sometime in 2013 and if you're not in the know like I am the big twist on this update is that Ash, or whatever they're going to call him, is taking his sister to a cabin in the woods to help her kick her drug habit. That's going to make all the makeout scenes a lot weirder I bet.

I'm going to go ahead and say it. "True Blood" is the worst thing to ever happen to TV. Yeah yeah I know you think Snookie or whatever the hell her name is is hot but that doesn't change anything. So why do I still report on it you might ask? Well who the hell are you to question my selection of news items? Go to hell! Lucy Griffiths is joining the cast next year. She's British and will play Eric Northman's sister. Is that alright with you!?

Mr. Robert Englund has been confirmed for Syfy's next installment in the "Lake Placid" series currently titled "Lake Placid: The Final Chapter". If you couldn't have guessed by the title the good people at Syfy are saying this will be the last installment in the giant crock attack series. I assume there will be some sort of parade in Hollywood to celebrate all of this magic. Maybe a national day of mourning.

In other casting news, it looks like the walking corpse that is Alice Cooper has been cast in Tim Burton's big screen adaptation of the "Dark Shadows". Cooper will play himself in the flick which takes place in 1972. And I can't think of another good "he's really old" joke so just make up your own here.

In Real People News: 

I don't even know how you handle something like this. Georgia cops rolled up to an odd scene Tuesday when they found a couple wandering around the road naked looking for their dachshund that they gave a gummy worm covered with LSD. Don't worry the LSD didn't kill the dog! A speeding car did.

Time and time again I've posted odd news on here of people doing things I don't condone, but I understand. So here's a story about a man who broke into two apartments, assaulted a man and stabbed another while trying to find some beer.

Horror Headlines: Friday June 24th, 2011

Emma Stone has reportedly been offered the leading role in Grahame-Smith's constantly changing "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Natalie Portman, who is now a producer on the film had at one time been rumored for the role along with Anne Hathaway and a number of other actresses. So keep your fingers crossed that Stone turns it down. I've heard rumors my name is rapidly moving to the top of the list for this.

Riki Lindhome, who has an IMDB page that leads me to believe she's been on one episode of 75% of the TV shows that have been made in the last 5 years, is the latest name to be added to the growing cast of the Halloween night comedy "Fun Size". The film which follows a pissy teenage girl as she tries to find her missing brother on Halloween night before their mother finds out also includes the comedic stylings of Johnny Knoxville, Jane Levy, Ana Gasteyer and Chelsea Handler. Because nothing's funnier than a good ole' missing child story.

If you liked "Strippers VS Zombies" then you're going to have lukewarm feelings about the new poster for "Strippers VS Werewolves". The movie, which Robert Englund is already attached to, focuses on a group of strippers that find their places of business being invaded by an angry pack of werewolves. Pray Englund isn't one of the strippers, pray a lot.

Speaking of Robert Englund... 2007's "Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer" was a comedic romp filled with over the top blood and guts. But from the looks of the new trailer for "The Shrine" it appears the makers have lost their funny bone and replaced it with some sort of creepy spooky bone. I think that's medically accurate. The movie follows a group of campers as they venture into a small Polish village that turns out to practice a strange human sacrifice ritual. I assume this is what happens to anyone who is stupid enough to leave their couch and go wondering off into strange Polish villages.

In Real People News: 

An Ohio couple is under arrested after they reportable bound a 3 year old girl with duct tape and insulted her, all while filming the entire thing. The reason they did this? Because they got boozed up and thought it would be fun of course. In their defense, it does sound kind of fun.

Here's a Pennsylvania man named Handy Wood who is under arrested for exposing himself to a woman while driving around a local mall parking lot in his mini van. Just to recap, Mr. Handy Wood pulled out his man bits and showed some random women. Make your own jokes for this one.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday May 3rd, 2011

Katrina Bowden from "30 Rock" and "Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil" is the latest hot chick to be added to the cast of "Piranha 3DD". As we all know Gary Busey was also added to the cast last week and while it hasn't been confirmed I think it's pretty obvious that we now know who will be involved in the movie's love story. I'd like to think the chemistry will find it's way off screen as well and we'll have Hollywood's next power couple.

"Cobra the Space Pirate" is some sort of Japanese animated series that I'm sure someone I went to college with told me was "completely insane" while I didn't get any action at a party, and for that reason alone I now hate it. But alas there's a movie being made about it and today we've got our first look at the poster for the flick. If it gets you excited you're only a little over 2 years away from it's summer 2012 release.

If you're anxiously awaiting the release of "Haunted 3D" then you're one step ahead of me because I've never heard of the damn thing until 10 minutes ago. But that doesn't matter because a handful of theaters will be showing India's first 3D flick this coming weekend. Of course none of the selected theaters are in major cities so you big wigs can suck it. Jersey's got 2 of the 8 selected locations!

Starting today you can get your grubby mits on "Call of Duty: Black Ops Escalation - Call of the Dead" via Xbox Live and to celebrate a new poster has hit the tubes for the game. In the Black Ops add on you can actually play as Robert Englund, Danny Trejo, Michael Rooker and Sarah Michelle Gellar and none other than George A. Romero is featured in the game as a zombie. Which is exciting because there's numerous movies I'd love to shoot him in the face for. Score!

In Real People News: 

A Florida man is being charged with assault after he beat the tar out of his neighbor with a baseball bat because they wouldn't turn down their music. While I can't condone the assault I have to say I had a neighbor once who could play Lisa Loeb at levels that by law shouldn't be allowed and I would have loved to have had a few cracks at him.

A young man in New Mexico made the mistake of shoving the prescription drugs he stole from a neighbor up his no-no hole and was found by police officers bleeding and disoriented. An x-ray later revealed the drugs and I assume the whole thing looked like the scene in "Total Recall" when they walk behind the giant body x-ray. But a lot sexier of course.

Horror Headlines: Monday April 11th, 2011

The first trailer for Lars Von Trier's new end of the world flick "Melancholia" has hit the tubes and much to my surprise it looks fairly un-hammer-to-the-penis-like. Yes that women who took a hammer to William Defeo's penis in "Antrichrist" is in this movie, so you keep thinking about it, but there's nothing to lead me to believe that's going to happen again. God I hope that doesn't happen again.

Speaking of Willem Dafoe and his lumbering manbits, they'll both be in the upcoming big screen adaptation of Dean Kootz's "Odd Thomas". The story focuses on a cook who's able to speak to the dead. Defoe plays a police chief who knows the young lad's secret. I have no clue if Defoe's member will be playing a different role.

It looks as if Rob Hall's "Fear Clinic" mini-series will be making it's way to the big screen, and Danielle Harris and Robert Englund are both on board for the magic. For those of you who aren't familiar with the series or Rob Hall's spiky hair, it follows a group of patients who come to a clinic in order to cure the phobias that run their lives. Much like the god awful fear I have of Willem Dafoe's privates. Let's keep this going!

Jessica Biel his apparently been offered a role in the upcoming "Total Recall" remake. No confirmation on which role she's been offered but chances are it's one of the two leads. She doesn't seem like the kind of girl who would be into playing that big women who has an exploding head or the three boobed hooker. Then again what do I know, I'm still focused on Willem Dafoe's flim flam. Happy Monday folks!

In Real People News: 

I have no idea if there's a bestiality handbook out there, but I don't think you need one to know you don't do it in your backyard. But it looks like this 17 year old in New Zealander doesn't know that because he's been convicted of the animal nasty after his neighbor saw him making love to his cat. Yeah I said it, making love.

After 64 years on this planet you've got to be struggling for ideas on how to celebrate your birthday. But this Florida man came up with something new, he flashed a school bus full of kids! I would of gone with a trip to Denny's, I'm pretty sure you eat for free. But flashing a bunch of kids would be a close second.

One, Two, Freddy's coming for you - in collectable form!

I'm a nerd - and even though Casey is a much bigger one, I embrace the label. And like any self respecting nerd, I love my action figures. And like any self respecting horror nerd, I love my horror action figures more.

Halloween Countdown - 25 Days to go!

I think it's safe to say we all love Halloween. So in order to make the wait JUST a tad more bearable, I'll be giving you random daily horror tidbits!

For today, I bring you the horror-comedy Hatchet! If you haven't heard, in a rather shit-tastic move, the recently released Hatchet II has been pulled from theaters. So since we can't watch that, we'll revisit the first one! Enjoy!

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