Jane Levy

I've been optimistic about the "Evil Dead" remake and now that this red band trailer has hit the tubes I will go on record as saying I am actually excited. I mean not jump up and down excited, but a "well, that looks like it might be good" kind of excited. So I guess that's not really excited at all, is it? Anyway, it kind of made me go in my pants a little bit because Jane Levy, the film's star, is kind of scary as hell in it. She also has weird stumpy arms. But that's in real life so we shouldn't talk about it because it's rude.

"Evil Dead" hits theaters on April 12th.

No surprise here but it's still exciting news. Robert Rodriguez has officially begun pre-production for "Machete Kills", the follow up to 2010's Danny Trejo super joint. This time around our hero finds himself hired by the US government to take down a duo hell bent on unleashing war on the world. I bet he does a lot of chicks too. That seams to be his M.O.. Killing and doing chicks. God he's so great.

I'm sorry to be the one to break this terrible news to you but it looks like "Army Of the Dead", the follow up to 2004's "Dawn Of the Dead" remake, might be dead. I know, I'm still in shock, too. According to director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr has said that he doesn't think the movie is going to move forward due to expensive filming costs. Apparently the movie was suppose to take place in Las Vegas. Let's just try to be strong for each other.

It looks like Dolph Lundgren has been confirmed to be taking the lead role in "Battle Of the Damned" a new survival flick that has Lundgren battles both zombies and robots. I know this sounds like the greatest movie ever made. No details on a release date yet but I assume there's going to be some kind of giant Hollywood premiere in the near future. I can't wait for the red carpet coverage.

It looks like "The Evil Dead" reboot once again has a leading lady. Jane Levy, who is just adorable on the new show "Suburgatory" has taken the lead role in the film, an Ash like character who unleashes the evil power of The Book Of The Dead onto the world. I, for one, welcome our new Ash overlord and look forward to seeing what she does with the character. Just adorable.

Emma Stone has reportedly been offered the leading role in Grahame-Smith's constantly changing "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Natalie Portman, who is now a producer on the film had at one time been rumored for the role along with Anne Hathaway and a number of other actresses. So keep your fingers crossed that Stone turns it down. I've heard rumors my name is rapidly moving to the top of the list for this.

Riki Lindhome, who has an IMDB page that leads me to believe she's been on one episode of 75% of the TV shows that have been made in the last 5 years, is the latest name to be added to the growing cast of the Halloween night comedy "Fun Size". The film which follows a pissy teenage girl as she tries to find her missing brother on Halloween night before their mother finds out also includes the comedic stylings of Johnny Knoxville, Jane Levy, Ana Gasteyer and Chelsea Handler. Because nothing's funnier than a good ole' missing child story.

If you liked "Strippers VS Zombies" then you're going to have lukewarm feelings about the new poster for "Strippers VS Werewolves". The movie, which Robert Englund is already attached to, focuses on a group of strippers that find their places of business being invaded by an angry pack of werewolves. Pray Englund isn't one of the strippers, pray a lot.

Speaking of Robert Englund... 2007's "Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer" was a comedic romp filled with over the top blood and guts. But from the looks of the new trailer for "The Shrine" it appears the makers have lost their funny bone and replaced it with some sort of creepy spooky bone. I think that's medically accurate. The movie follows a group of campers as they venture into a small Polish village that turns out to practice a strange human sacrifice ritual. I assume this is what happens to anyone who is stupid enough to leave their couch and go wondering off into strange Polish villages.

Anthony Mackie has been added to the cast of the long awaited big screen adaptation of Max Brooks' "World War Z". The cast already includes Mr. Brad Pitt and Mireille Enos and is set to begin filming this summer. Mackie is currently filming "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" and 7 other movies, but I hope he gets some time to really drink the beauty that is Brad Pitt. God, I'd love to just get a lock of his hair or something. I've said too much.

Jane Levy looks like she could be anywhere between 11 and 30, but now she's been added to the cast of the teen Halloween comedy "Fun Size" so that means she's got to be a teen right? Is it creepy that I'm even bringing her age up? Little bit right? Are you uncomfortable? You should be! Anyway, the film focuses on a young girl who takes her little brother trick-r-treating, loses him and then spends the night trying to track him down before her mother finds out. I'm on some sort of watch list now aren't I... damn this site!

Do you love Godzilla? Well then you're sure to have lukewarm feelings about the new spoof "Notzilla: Duke of the Monsters"! Alright, honestly the movie, which already has Patrick Warburton and George Takei attached to it, looks like it could be funny for a half hour or so, but it's currently looking for distribution and the good people behind the film have put out a trailer to get some buzz going. If you have about 1.5 million it could be yours. Won't you help!? Won't somebody think of the children!?

Remember when seeing names like Tony Todd, Kane Hodder and Tiffany Shepis in a cast meant you were going to see a quality film? No, me either, but that doesn't matter because all three have been cast in the new werewolf flick "Hallow Pointe". The story takes place at a bed and breakfast where a couple must fight to stay alive when they find themselves checked in on the night of a full moon. I swear to god if I have to sit through another Kane Hodder sex scene I'm never watching another movie. You've been warned!