seth grahame-smith

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 13th, 2013

"Byzantium" sounds like an awesome Norwegian black metal band but it is in fact Neil Jordan's upcoming flick about two vampires who befriend a young girl. The film has just been slapped with a June 28th release date in limited theaters and VOD. My only hope is there's at least some corpse paint or a lanky kid who wears a ratty leather jacket. Something!

Lindsay Seim, who you might remember from... well I have no idea actually, has been confirmed to be staring in "Insidious: Chapter 2", the upcoming sequel to the 2010 much loved hit. Seim will be playing the younger version of Elise Rainer, the voodoo high priestess from the original flick. At least I think that's what she was. She spoke funny words and claimed to be able to communicate with the dead so lets call a spade a spade.

Curtis Gwinn and Channing Powell have been added to the writing team for season 4 of "The Walking Dead". Maybe they can finally write in some smiles for the gang? It can't possibly be true that not one person has cracked some pearlies since the zombie outbreak happened.

Writer Seth Grahame-Smith took to his tweets to drop a bomb that leads one to believe that he's about to put pen to paper on "Beetlejuice 2". The picture shows our favorite beetled one standing in front of a Mac with the caption "It's showtime". A clever little setup that probably took about the same time it would have taken him to write a few pages worth of the new script. But hey take your time. It hasn't even been 30 years yet.

In Real People News: 

Who hasn't seen a porn where the prison guard and the hot inmate go nutso for some extra fruit cocktail at the lunch line? No one I know. But a story about a guard trading an inmate cookies for sex... Something just seems sleazy about that.

Who doesn't find a picture of a little baby holding a beer bottle adorable? It's funny because they can't drink! A video of a 2 year old smoking out of a bong though... that'll get your ass tossed into jail

Horror Headlines: Friday June 24th, 2011

Emma Stone has reportedly been offered the leading role in Grahame-Smith's constantly changing "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Natalie Portman, who is now a producer on the film had at one time been rumored for the role along with Anne Hathaway and a number of other actresses. So keep your fingers crossed that Stone turns it down. I've heard rumors my name is rapidly moving to the top of the list for this.

Riki Lindhome, who has an IMDB page that leads me to believe she's been on one episode of 75% of the TV shows that have been made in the last 5 years, is the latest name to be added to the growing cast of the Halloween night comedy "Fun Size". The film which follows a pissy teenage girl as she tries to find her missing brother on Halloween night before their mother finds out also includes the comedic stylings of Johnny Knoxville, Jane Levy, Ana Gasteyer and Chelsea Handler. Because nothing's funnier than a good ole' missing child story.

If you liked "Strippers VS Zombies" then you're going to have lukewarm feelings about the new poster for "Strippers VS Werewolves". The movie, which Robert Englund is already attached to, focuses on a group of strippers that find their places of business being invaded by an angry pack of werewolves. Pray Englund isn't one of the strippers, pray a lot.

Speaking of Robert Englund... 2007's "Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer" was a comedic romp filled with over the top blood and guts. But from the looks of the new trailer for "The Shrine" it appears the makers have lost their funny bone and replaced it with some sort of creepy spooky bone. I think that's medically accurate. The movie follows a group of campers as they venture into a small Polish village that turns out to practice a strange human sacrifice ritual. I assume this is what happens to anyone who is stupid enough to leave their couch and go wondering off into strange Polish villages.

In Real People News: 

An Ohio couple is under arrested after they reportable bound a 3 year old girl with duct tape and insulted her, all while filming the entire thing. The reason they did this? Because they got boozed up and thought it would be fun of course. In their defense, it does sound kind of fun.

Here's a Pennsylvania man named Handy Wood who is under arrested for exposing himself to a woman while driving around a local mall parking lot in his mini van. Just to recap, Mr. Handy Wood pulled out his man bits and showed some random women. Make your own jokes for this one.

Trailer: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

This President's Day, we celebrate our forefathers and their great achievements in American History. One of those great men deserving of our remembrance is none other than Abraham Lincoln; a man who was many things: A lawyer. A leader. An Emancipator. A Vampire Hunter.

Hold on - what?

Yes, a vampire hunter. It's no more ridiculous than anything else in politics. Defender of the Free World, Savior of the Living world!

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 3rd, 2010

While there are no details on what the homage will actually be, word is that 82nd Academy Awards will feature a segment dedicated to horror. That's saying a lot for the group that has all but ignored the genre since they awarded "Silence of the Lambs" Best Picture 19 years ago.

Tim Burton is aiming his sights on his next production as he makes plans to team with Russian Timur Bekmambetov for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Based on best selling author Seth Grahame-Smith's novel, in the same vein as his hit "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Both film-makers will be taking on producer duties as a director has not yet been listed.

Warner Brothers has announced their plans to bring the classic "Space Invaders" to the big screen. This joins the long list of other classic arcade games that will be mentioned as in the works for big screen treatment and never heard from again!

Stefan Ruzowitzky, Austrian director of the Oscar winning "The Counterfeiters" is in talks to direct the period piece "The Last Voyage of the Demeter" which has been written for nearly five years now. Concentrating on the over seas voyage of Dracula as he fled Transylvania, this could be something fun on the horizon.

In Real People News: 

PETA has decided that the Berlin Zoo will be its next target as they urge the facility to have Knut the Polar Bear castrated. Not just an idle request, they are trying to prevent Mr. Knut from having incestual sex with his partner Giovanna who has the same grandpa polar bear as Knut.

O.J. Simpson has donated the suit he wore when acquitted of is wife's murder to the Smithsonian Museum. An official at the Smithsonian told TMZ "It's highly unlikely that we'll accept it".

On this day in history: 

1934 - John Dillinger escapes from an escape-proof jail in Crown Point Indiana, using a wooden pistol he carved himself. It's his second escape.

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