Blake Masters, which sounds like a porn name, has been picked up by Paramount to pen the script for their upcoming big screen adaptation of "Insurrection". The film will focus on a clone who decides to stand up to the corporation who created him and sent his fellow remakes to battle for them. In case you're wondering my porn name would be Jack Hammer.
I've kind of had my eye on the "Silent Night, Deadly Night" remake, simply titled "Silent Night" because I think remakes of horror flicks that were never that good to begin with can be just fine. This one also has Malcolm McDowell in it so it can't be that bad, right? Well we'll all get to find out on November 30th, which just so happens to be the DVD release date the film has been slapped with. It's creepy to hear me say I have my eye on something right? I'm not going to be offended if you tell me you're a little uncomfortable.
I love the "Friday the 13th" franchise just as much as the next guy but at this point I've shelled out enough money for DVD and VHS versions of the films that I kind of feel like Jason should come to my house and cook me dinner. But now that Warner Brothers has acquired the fights to the films it looks like there may be updated Blu-Ray versions of 1 - 8 in the series so I may have to throw down some more cash. If you remember a few years back the flicks did hit Blu-Ray but in a crappy no new features pretty much DVD quality version which made me want to punch things. You probably didn't know the punch things stuff. I mean unless you can read my mind that is. God I hope you can't read my mind.
Jillian Murray of "The Graves" and "Wild Things: Foursome" fame has been added to the cast of "Cabin Fever: Patient Zero", a film I had forgotten was going to be made. This time around we find ourselves with a party cruise that runs ashore on a medical center where a deadly virus has broken out. I'll just say it now... If the film doesn't cast anyone from "Boy Meets World" I'm not watching it. You've been warned.
In Real People News:
A Minnesota woman didn't even bother trying to prove her lover was not being faithful and just went ahead and tried to cut his head off after she wasn't satisfied with his proclamation of love. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut.
A New Jersey mother is in big trouble after she boarded her 9 year old daughter's school bus and slapped the young lass's bully silly. I pray this was caught on camera for next season of Real Housewives. It sounds like such a Teresa thing to do.
If you haven't seen "Scream 4" yet than I don't want to spoil it for you but without saying too much Wes Craven sat down recently to drop that there will most likely be another 2 films in the series. You see at the end someone ends up being the murderer and that will most likely cause a lot more issues for someone else and a few other people. Then some things happen.
Looks like there's trouble in Oz my friends. Sam Rami and the good people at Disney appear to be having a disagreement over the casting in the upcoming flick "Oz: The Great and Powerful". Apparently Rami wants Hillary Swank to play one of the main witches and Disney wants Michelle Williams. I haven't been contacted for my opinion but if pressed I'd have to say I don't care either way. Mark it down!
All the world has Mortal Kombat fever right now kids and the recent spike in interest of the classic video game is pushing the long held up next film in the franchise along. Looks like not only is Warner Brothers very interested in making a new film based on the game but also with the classics Space Invaders and Rampage. Sweet lord how I loved Rampage when I was a kid. My fat little digits making a giant Gorilla, Werewolf and Lizard fight each other. It was like heaven.
"House at the End of the Street", which focuses on a girl who moves in next door to a house where a double murder takes place and then befriends the one survivor, has been given a February 3, 2012 release date. Elisabeth Shue stars as the girl's mother so look for countless "MILF" references on that podcast in just under a year from now.
In Real People News:
In honor of Easter a group of teens in Seattle decided to descend on their "friend's" home in the middle of the night and put almost 900 peeps on skewers on his front lawn. Do they need help cleaning that up? I love those freakin' things, I could eat at least 800 of them. The rest probably have bird crap on them or something.
An Ohio man is not taking his recent run in with the law lightly. He's currently working on having a law that states you can't tease police dogs overturned because it goes against his right to free speech. Of course he's mainly doing this because he recently broke the law, but still, who doesn't want to live in a world where our children can go around harassing police dogs without having to worry about the consequences?
Pack your picnic basket and grab your hood because Warner Brothers has set a date for Catherine Hardwicke's werewolf tale "Red Riding Hood". This Amanda Seyfried starring gothic retelling will hit theaters on March 11th, 2010.
The next "Final Destination" installment has been given an annoying official title in the form of "5nal Destination". Details have slipped about the film's opening suspension bridge disaster as well, but we all stopped caring after "5nal".
Hollywood loves its unnecessary remakes, so it shouldn't be too surprising that they are looking at Pascal Laugeir's "Martyrs" for the official treatment. What is surprising is that "Twilight" producer Wyck Godfrey is looking at Kristin Stewart to headline.
Need some more Sam and Dean Winchester in your life? You better hope so as Warner Brothers Japan is preparing 22 episode "Supernatural: The Animation"! Details on the new show are scarce at this time, but the official site talks of recreating some of the fan favorite episodes of the series as well as some new adventures mixed in.
According to everybody but Tim Burton himself, the director's next movie will be a feature length version of his 1984 short "Frankenweenie", a spoof on Mary Shelly's classic book surrounding a man who brings his dog back to life after being hit by a car. Expect confirmation from Burton any time now along with casting news announcing Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp in the lead.
Manhattan area police are on a vampire hunt. During a routine pickup, a passenger tried to rob Mouhamodo Seck at gunpoint. When Seck managed to knock the gun out of his attackers hands, the man then started to bite Seck about the arm, shoulder and back.
Since I'm filling in for Fowler Friday this week, I'm going to start off your weekend with a swift kick to the nuts! You know Platinum Dunes and their love of remaking classic franchises? They've now set their sights on "The Monster Squad" for their next remake.
Though they titled the fourth film in the franchise "The Final Destination", Warner Brothers head Alan Horn revealed that they'll be making a fifth "Final Destination". Since they've already raided the gimmick that is 3-D, here's hoping they go old school and add ball shockers to the seats this time.
Even the newly raised from the dead Hammer Studios can't resist the remake band wagon but according to CEO Simon Oakes, they'll be remaking three of their own films. Titles up for the treatment are "Captain Kronos", "Quatermass" and "Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde".
Jersey City, NJ police officials have captured a serial urinator who has been terrorizing women at bus stops since December. While the ladies waited casually for their morning commute, the perpetrator would stroll up behind them and let loose on their legs. So far this morning, the whereabouts of our own Joe Charnews is still in question. Don't pick up the soap Joe!
1982 - The guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne, Randy Rhoads, dies during the Diary of a Madman tour after the plane he is flying in buzzes the band's tour bus and clips the wing of the plane, crashing into a nearby farmhouse.
Tim Burton is aiming his sights on his next production as he makes plans to team with Russian Timur Bekmambetov for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Based on best selling author Seth Grahame-Smith's novel, in the same vein as his hit "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Both film-makers will be taking on producer duties as a director has not yet been listed.
Warner Brothers has announced their plans to bring the classic "Space Invaders" to the big screen. This joins the long list of other classic arcade games that will be mentioned as in the works for big screen treatment and never heard from again!
Stefan Ruzowitzky, Austrian director of the Oscar winning "The Counterfeiters" is in talks to direct the period piece "The Last Voyage of the Demeter" which has been written for nearly five years now. Concentrating on the over seas voyage of Dracula as he fled Transylvania, this could be something fun on the horizon.
In Real People News:
PETA has decided that the Berlin Zoo will be its next target as they urge the facility to have Knut the Polar Bear castrated. Not just an idle request, they are trying to prevent Mr. Knut from having incestual sex with his partner Giovanna who has the same grandpa polar bear as Knut.