scream 4

Horror Headlines: Monday January 27th, 2013

Three years ago yesterday I wrote my first news post for the good folks at Bloody Good Horror. I assume the card got lost in the mail or something.

So last week we talked about how the "Zombieland" TV series will be made available via amazon in the not to distant future and now we know that Eli Craig is in talks to direct. For those of you who don't know Eli he's the guy who wrote and directed "Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil". No word on any of the cost for the show but if I know the guy who was in the original movie and then went on to play the Facebook kid like I think I do he's probably sitting at home thinking, "Ya know I'd like to just do a show that can only be seen on a website that people don't know you can watch shows on. Sign me up for that."

Britt Robertson, who was apparently in "Scream 4" and is not a stripper, has landed a role in the upcoming television adaptation of Stephen King's "Under the Dome". For those of you not familiar with the story it's pretty much "The Simpsons" movie but with less yellow. Robertson will play a young waitress with dreams of getting out of her hometown. Oh man imagine if a giant dome trapped her in that very same town she wants to leave? That would make an awesome show.

It looks like Magnolia Pictures has picked up the rights to "S-VHS", the follow up to 2012's anthology flick "V/H/S". This time around the story follows private investigators who are searching for a number of missing people and stumble upon a group of tapes in a abandoned house. A bunch of directors I've never heard of are on board for the film but I'm awful with names so they might be well known. I might sit next to one of them at work. Wouldn't that be weird?

IFC has dropped a March 28th release date for "Room 237", a new documentary that focuses on the making of Stanley Kubrick’s classic flick "The Shining". There's really nothing funny I can say about that so let's just call it a day shell we?

In Real People News: 

I always got nervous around parent teacher conference time but this kid went to the next level and faked being kidnapped in order to stop his parents from going to their talk with his teacher. Yes he got caught but now when his parents finally do go and find out he's flunking math or whatever he can use the "well at least I didn't say I got kidnapped again" excuse. He's kind of a genius.

Every parent wants their child to do well in school but this Minnesota man who pointed an AK-47 at his daughter for bringing home a a report card with 2 B's might be going a bit overboard. D's maybe, but B's is a threaten with a butcher knife type thing tops.

Horror Headlines: Friday August 12th, 2011

Pop quiz, what's your favorite Ray Kay video? Trick question! The answer is none because he's the mastermind behind videos for Justin Beiber, Willow Smith and Lady Gaga. I fooled you didn't I? Well he's been handed the keys to a new thriller titled "Paranormalcy" which follows a teen who works for a paranormal agency who finds she might be in the middle of a plot to destroy all paranormal entities. Wait would that be a bad thing? Will there be a meat suit? So many questions and so few answers.

Harry Potter director David Yates and scribe Steve Kloves will reunite to create a trilogy based on Stephen King's "The Stand". For those of you not familiar with the book it's really long and took me over a year to read so I'm not going to tell you anything about it. They did make a mini series though back in the 90's and Molly Ringwald was in it. I'm not saying if that's a good or a bad thing though.

I loved "The Munsters" like a mofo and was a big fan of "Pushing Daisies" so the thought of its creator Bryan Fuller rebooting my beloved black and white classic is just like peanut butter and sex. They just go together. The new series is said to be a darker version of the original and will tell the tale of how everyone's favorite family came to live at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Mother of god I hope they don't F this up.

Details on the DVD and Blu-Ray extras that will be included with "Scream 4" have dropped and along with commentary with Wes Craven, deleted scenes and a gag real the discs will also include alternative endings and openings. This gets me excited because maybe for the next version there will also be a alternative middle and the three combined will actually make this a good movie. See what I did there? Enjoy your weekend folks.

In Real People News: 

This guy has come up with the greatest excuse as to why he was riding around a Walmart parking lot with his junk hanging out. Simply put, he confessed that Walmart really gets his juices flowing. To each his own I say. And I call this the greatest excuse because I assume people ride around Walmart parking lots constantly with their junk hanging out.

If you're going to try to wake up your boyfriend by shooting fireworks at him then you kind of deserve to lose three fingers. And yes before you even ask this took place in Florida.

Horror Headlines: Thursday May 12th, 2011

Alexis Texas, 2011 AVN award winner for her work in "Buttwoman vs. Slutwoman" has officially jumped over into the word of horror with her leading role in "Bloodlust Zombies". The movie focuses on an office that suffers a nutso mutant virus outbreak, with sexy results. A new trailer for the film has hit the tubes and I'll give Alexis this, her fellow pornstar brethren who have crossed over have generally taken on roles as versatile as hooker and stripper, so kudos for going outside the box. Pun intended.

The first clip from Lars von Trier's end of the world movie "Melancholia" has hit the tubes and while it's imposable to see Charlotte Gainsbourg without thinking she's about to destroy someone's genitals I have to say this flick looks fairly tame. Then again there's nothing you can do about the snaggle tooth action that is Kirsten Dunst. Mutilated genitals or not, that toothy mastermind will destroy us all.

Gary Busey? Sure! David Hasselhoff? What in the holy living hell is going on. Of course if I were to ask you to guess what horror movie the Hoff would be cast in the obvious answer would be "Piranha 3DD" so this should come as no surprise but still he's been confirmed for the sequel that will take place at a waterpark. Charlie Sheen is next, right? It can't be far off.

You know that morbidly obese girl at your office who is always saying things like "I sooo need to go on a diet" and "Oh wow I super need to get back to the gym" in the hopes that you'll tell her she looks great and doesn't need to change a thing? Well here's the people from Dimension Films taking to twitter to ask the 15 people (11 if you don't count us on the podcast) that saw "Scream 4" to tweet how bad they want to see a 5th installment. Get on the treadmill Ghostface, your fat ass isn't going to tone itself while you sit on the couch and play "Call of Duty".

In Real People News: 

A Colorado mother is under arrest after branding her daughter with a hot knife. I understand this is illegal and bad but how else are you suppose to mark your children? How will you tell she's yours when she's in a crowd? The herd will kill us all people! The cows have taken control!

And here's a crazy guy on the NYC subway dropping his pants and screaming racist nonsense. You're welcome.

Horror Headlines: Monday April 25th, 2011

If you haven't seen "Scream 4" yet than I don't want to spoil it for you but without saying too much Wes Craven sat down recently to drop that there will most likely be another 2 films in the series. You see at the end someone ends up being the murderer and that will most likely cause a lot more issues for someone else and a few other people. Then some things happen.

Looks like there's trouble in Oz my friends. Sam Rami and the good people at Disney appear to be having a disagreement over the casting in the upcoming flick "Oz: The Great and Powerful". Apparently Rami wants Hillary Swank to play one of the main witches and Disney wants Michelle Williams. I haven't been contacted for my opinion but if pressed I'd have to say I don't care either way. Mark it down!

All the world has Mortal Kombat fever right now kids and the recent spike in interest of the classic video game is pushing the long held up next film in the franchise along. Looks like not only is Warner Brothers very interested in making a new film based on the game but also with the classics Space Invaders and Rampage. Sweet lord how I loved Rampage when I was a kid. My fat little digits making a giant Gorilla, Werewolf and Lizard fight each other. It was like heaven.

"House at the End of the Street", which focuses on a girl who moves in next door to a house where a double murder takes place and then befriends the one survivor, has been given a February 3, 2012 release date. Elisabeth Shue stars as the girl's mother so look for countless "MILF" references on that podcast in just under a year from now.

In Real People News: 

In honor of Easter a group of teens in Seattle decided to descend on their "friend's" home in the middle of the night and put almost 900 peeps on skewers on his front lawn. Do they need help cleaning that up? I love those freakin' things, I could eat at least 800 of them. The rest probably have bird crap on them or something.

An Ohio man is not taking his recent run in with the law lightly. He's currently working on having a law that states you can't tease police dogs overturned because it goes against his right to free speech. Of course he's mainly doing this because he recently broke the law, but still, who doesn't want to live in a world where our children can go around harassing police dogs without having to worry about the consequences?

Episode 159 - "Scream 4"

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We dissect the latest in the series and work out our women issues all at the same time. They call that efficiency.

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

Scream 4 (REVIEW)

The original "Scream", released in 1996, was in many ways a movie out of place in its own decade. For starters, it was "one of those slasher films", a term in itself that did nothing at the time but promote jeers from anyone within earshot, due mostly to a decade's worth of dead-horse beating sequels attempting to cash in on the wave of successes from the early 80's. It was also a small, suspense driven movie in the decade of the CGI laden mega-blockbuster.

Hot New Scream 4 Images!

A bunch of news "Scream 4" images have hit the nets and to be honest I'm starting to question everything I've ever thought was holy. I'm speaking of course about the last image in this series which shows a Hayden Panettiere with the same haircut that Patrick Swayze had in "The Outsiders" about to make out with a guy, I think it's a guy, who has the same haircut Jodi Foster in "Taxi Driver". And she was an underage hooker in that! You see what's happened? Wes Craven endorses underage hooking!


Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 16th, 2011

Up until this point I've been very excited about "Insidious" and all it's spooky haunted goodness. But now there's some new images and video from the flick that hits theaters on April 1st. I'm not 100% positive but from what I've seen I think the kid is being haunted by Lollapalooza roadies. Look at the spacers on that guy in the first photo. They guy just walked off the Horde tour. No one under 30 has any idea what I'm talking about.

With all the bad news surrounding "Men in Black III" I'm thinking the only thing that could save it would be one Mr. Alec Baldwin. Truth be told that's my remedy for a lot of things including this weird rash I've picked up. But much like my rash, Alec is unfortunately not going to be the film's saving grace. He had originally been scheduled to be in the film but now due to delays he's backed out and because of that we're left with a movie that's going to suck and an uncomfortable itch.

If you're going to go see "Priest" and expect him to be doing priesty type things then I'm going to tell you to not waste your time. Honestly after looking at the new stills and international poster for the flick I think it should be called "Weird Bald Guy With a Cross on His Head" or something like that. "Priest" would imply that he does some sort of church type activity and I see nothing but motorcycles and giant cartoon sticks of dynamite.

Lastly here's a new still from "Scream 4" which shows a grisly murder scene with all kinds of blood and someone hanging from the ceiling. My guess? This is some sort of stupid movie set or prank that isn't real at all. In fact I'm willing to bet you all that I'm correct. Anyone who wants in on this just mail me 5 bucks. When the movie comes out if it turns out this is in fact a real murder scene then I will send you all back 10 bucks and a diet coke. I promise.

In Real People News: 

How is this illegal? A mother in North Carolina has been arrested after she intentionally drove over her abusive husband while her kids were in the car with her. Is it because the kids were with her and they could have gotten whiplash from the car shaking? Is that it? White trash can be real rough terrain.

Accidents happen all the time. Sometimes you mix your whites with darks when doing the laundry and sometimes you accidentally mix gin with milk and put it in your child's bottle. Happens all the time! Make no mistake just because it happens a lot doesn't mean you won't go to jail like this women in Oklahoma but it still happens a lot none the less.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 9th, 2011

Taryn Manning and Gillian Zinser have been added to the cast of "Manson Girls" which follows the story of the women who fell under Charles Manson's spell. Bill Moseley has already been cast as Manson which seems like a good choice because I'm 99% sure that guy is capable of murder.

"Detention" is a new slasher/comedy flick premiering at SXSW and today folks we've got a new post for the romp. The film focuses on a girl who is sent to, you guessed it, detention and must survive the attacks of a killer and make it to prom. Sounds just like my senior year of High School! Minus the killer part... and getting to go to prom.

"Humans vs Zombies" is pretty much the premise of every zombie flick but no one's ever used the title so why the hell not. The movie is about a group of students fighting to survive on a college campus that's been overrun by, you guessed it, zombies. Apparently this is also a real game kids play on college campuses, which sounds like an awesome way to spend your time in a place where booze is readily available and women are loose. America is doomed.

How the hell did this take so long to happen? A trailer for the soon to be released "Scream XXX: A Porn Parody" has hit the net and I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that even if they cut out all the sex this is still going to be better than the new "Scream" movie. Just so I'm clear though I don't want to see a version of this without the sex, that would just be stupid.

In Real People News: 

I don't care much for politics but a group in Nigeria is calming their local election was sabotaged after a large group of run away goats put the event on hold. Unfortunately for everyone involved the goats aren't talking. It's just like the old saying goes, "Goats, they can't talk". So true... so true.

I never understood the appeal of smoking but most people who are addicted seem to be pretty freakin' nuts over the crap. Case in point; is this guy Illinois who was caught smoking in a bar bathroom, where it's now illegal to be smoking in Illinois, opted to stab the crap out of the security guard rather then taking it outside. Is there black tar heroin in those things or something? Someone explain it to me!

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 2nd, 2011

MGM has tapped Jose Padilha to direct their reboot of the 80's cop turned into a robot classic "Robocop". I've never seen any of the movies this guy has made and this is normally where I would put some sarcastic comment about that fact but I saw his IMDB page and he has caring eyes so I'm going to approve of this.

I don't know a single stereotype about Argentina so this one's going to be short. Here's a bunch of pics and a trailer for the new hand held feature to come out of the country(?) titled "Incidente". According to the description the movie isn't filled with zombies but rather "demons who use the humans like clothes". I assume this is a play on the saying "wear your ass like a hat". Could be wrong thoguh.

A new "Scream 4" poster is out and call me a giant prick but I actually like it. Of course it's done by Olly Moss and I actually know who that is so it might just be the buzz I have from feeling somewhat smart. Want me to do your taxes?!

A trailer for the new kids lost in the sticks slasher flick titled "Madison County" has hit the tubes and it looks grimy, son. Like girls covered in dirt running around a gravel road grimy. It makes me feel like I need a shower. Oh and there's a guy with a pig's head killing people. But man that gravel has got to be hard on the tootsies.

In Real People News: 

Let the Taco Bell jokes begin. Over 60 pounds of iguana meat was seized by customs officers recently that was apparently going to be used for tamales. According to the officers the amount of meat lead them to believe this wasn't going to be used for personal use but rather sold. Meaning somewhere near the border there is a large demand for iguana tamales. Someone want to fess up here?

A group of 9 sixth graders have been suspended from a Tacoma public school after they were suspected of partaking in a "fight club". The first rule of fight club is of course "you don't talk about fight club". The second rule though has been updated to read "Tuesday night is piano lessons so there's no fight club". The third rule? "Susy Gorman gives out BJ's in the guys locker room during free period", everyone knows that.

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