michael rooker

Hypothermia (REVIEW)

One of the most memorable moments in horror for me this year was the running joke about “mermen” in “Cabin in the Woods,” so I found the idea of an entire movie about mermen pretty amusing. Unfortunately that tiny moment of amusement was the most enjoyable part of watching "Hypothermia".

Slither (REVIEW)

As a craggy asteroid rockets through space two bored police officers sit in their cruiser. One takes a nap. The other clocks the airspeed of a whippoorwill. Suddenly the asteroid is shown on a collision course with Earth. Our cops? Still bored, though one more annoyed with the other. The asteroid screams through the atmosphere, erupting in flame and splitting before impacting in the dirt a mile or two behind them. The smoking asteroid cracks open as we hear a squirmy chattering. Sound familiar? Of course.

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (REVIEW)

The Serial Killer film exists in that ineffable space between and within multiple genres. There are definitive strands reaching back to noir, slashers, and some city symphony films. There have also been so many serial killer films as to perhaps make their own genre altogether apart from horror or suspense thrillers. As of late television seems to be the new home for these narratives, strung out in season long arcs or crammed into the exploitation story-of-the-week on the latest versions of CSI or Law & Order.

10 Parasitic Horror Movies

The typical reaction when I mention parasites is for a small shudder to course though the listener's body and some kind of verbal reaction such as, "Oh man, gross!" But really, are they so bad? They just want to be inside you. Uh...wait, they just want to live off of you. Er... they don't eat much?

Horror Headlines: Tuesday May 3rd, 2011

Katrina Bowden from "30 Rock" and "Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil" is the latest hot chick to be added to the cast of "Piranha 3DD". As we all know Gary Busey was also added to the cast last week and while it hasn't been confirmed I think it's pretty obvious that we now know who will be involved in the movie's love story. I'd like to think the chemistry will find it's way off screen as well and we'll have Hollywood's next power couple.

"Cobra the Space Pirate" is some sort of Japanese animated series that I'm sure someone I went to college with told me was "completely insane" while I didn't get any action at a party, and for that reason alone I now hate it. But alas there's a movie being made about it and today we've got our first look at the poster for the flick. If it gets you excited you're only a little over 2 years away from it's summer 2012 release.

If you're anxiously awaiting the release of "Haunted 3D" then you're one step ahead of me because I've never heard of the damn thing until 10 minutes ago. But that doesn't matter because a handful of theaters will be showing India's first 3D flick this coming weekend. Of course none of the selected theaters are in major cities so you big wigs can suck it. Jersey's got 2 of the 8 selected locations!

Starting today you can get your grubby mits on "Call of Duty: Black Ops Escalation - Call of the Dead" via Xbox Live and to celebrate a new poster has hit the tubes for the game. In the Black Ops add on you can actually play as Robert Englund, Danny Trejo, Michael Rooker and Sarah Michelle Gellar and none other than George A. Romero is featured in the game as a zombie. Which is exciting because there's numerous movies I'd love to shoot him in the face for. Score!

In Real People News: 

A Florida man is being charged with assault after he beat the tar out of his neighbor with a baseball bat because they wouldn't turn down their music. While I can't condone the assault I have to say I had a neighbor once who could play Lisa Loeb at levels that by law shouldn't be allowed and I would have loved to have had a few cracks at him.

A young man in New Mexico made the mistake of shoving the prescription drugs he stole from a neighbor up his no-no hole and was found by police officers bleeding and disoriented. An x-ray later revealed the drugs and I assume the whole thing looked like the scene in "Total Recall" when they walk behind the giant body x-ray. But a lot sexier of course.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday February 2nd, 2010

Early reports say that Kate Beckinsale will be donning her leather cat suit once again for "Underworld 3D". The same reports also say she's trying to find a way to get out of the film as well.

Michael Rooker will be coming back once again to face off against monsters, this time in an ice fishing trip turned beast battle in "Hypothermia". Let's hope he fares better this time than he did in "Slither".

Hammer Studios continues its rise from the dead by acquiring its next film, a big screen adaptation of Susan Hill's "The Woman In Black".

Director Russell Mulcahy has been tapped to direct the pilot for MTV's recently announced "Teen Wolf" reboot. When you consider Mulcahy directed the classic "Highlander", there is some reason to grow excited. Then you remember he also directed "Highlander 2: The Quickening" and that all goes out the window.

Lakeshore Entertainment and Kevin Grevioux, the team up that brought you "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans" are preparing to bring you more of the unique brand of action horror with an adaptation of Grevioux's comic, "I, Frankenstein". At this time, it is still unclear how they will be working in Kate Beckinsale in tight leather.

In Real People News: 

A murderer on the FBI's most wanted list for 25 years is finally nabbed after walking into the US Embassy in Manila. Attempting to renew his passport, he forgot to apply using his alias.

After a long standoff, Perth Police charge the house of a local loony threatening to burn down his house after spreading fuel across the homestead. In an effort to stop the man from igniting the blaze, police shoot him with a taser gun, which in turns sets fire to the fuel severely burning the perpetrator . Whoopsies.

On this day in history: 

1852 - The first public toilet is inaugurated, located at 95 Fleet Street in London, by the Society of Arts.

Skeleton Man (REVIEW)

At one point during stuntman-turned-director Johnny Martin's abysmal 2004 action-horror epic "Skeleton Man," co-star Michael Rooker -- who, I'm sure, would punch you directly in your grill if you even whisper the name of this movie in his presence -- takes an expected trip down the side of a hill, a protracted sequence which clearly stands as the film's brightest moment. It's a testament to how genuinely God-awful the picture truly is, and leaves you wondering why, exactly, someone of Rooker's caliber would subject himself to such substandard B-grade schlock as this.

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