kate beckinsale

Horror Headlines: Thursday, August 2nd, 2012

Today is IPA day folks. Who decided that? I have no idea but I know if you're a member of Untappd, which a number of us BGHer's are, you'll get a special badge for cracking up your favorite hoppy brew. Not to brag but I currently have 63 badges in my record book. And one very concerned wife.

I had this whole funny idea for compareing Kate Beckinsale dropping news that she probably won't do another "Underworld" movie to some of the worst disasters in history. But when I thought more about it saying this news is as devastating as well... ya know something really bad where a lot of people died is probably not so cool. I think I'm growing up.

If you've listened to a word I've said over that past few months you'd know that NBC is hard at work on their new series "Hannibal", based on the beloved man eater from "Red Dragon". If you didn't know that then I think we may need to see other people. Might I suggest Caroline Dhavernas and Aaron Abrams who have recently been added to the cast of the show as a professor and crime scene investigator. See how I made that happen? You're going to miss my musk.

Alright, I'm just going to come out and say it. For years I hated Drew Barrymore. I honestly don't even remember why at this point. But now I'm older and wiser and I don't care either way about her. Wow, it feels good to get that out there. The news here though is that Drew (I'm going to call her Drew now that we're BFF's) is in talks to direct, yes, direct, a new film titled "The End" which focuses on the more human side of the end of the world. Good for her. I couldn't be happier.

A sequel to "Prometheus" is officially in the works and planned for a 2014 or 1015 release. In related news tomorrow I'll probably get drunk.

Liam Neeson throat punches the box office, plus the week ahead

"The Grey" snagged an estimated 20 million and the top spot this weekend according to Box Office Mojo, who points out that that's a win for the distributor:

Kate Beckinsale's toosh wins the day, plus a preview of the week to come

Kate Beckinsale and her supernaturally perky bottom won the box office this weekend with $25,400,000. That's more than the opening of the last film in the series, and I would think enough to guarantee we see another one. I saw it today, and I'm okay with that. My full review will be up shortly.

Meanwhile, the entire BGH Podcast crew sits down tomorrow night for a roundtable discussion in Episode 194, look for that later in the week.

Horror Headlines: Monday, January 9th, 2012

Do people still use the word "cherry" to describe their virginity? Ya know like, "I totally lost my cherry to Johnny by the dumpster after last week's dance"? Anyway when I was little I always thought I would lose my cherry to The Jeff Healey Band's timeless classic "Angel Eyes". For those of you not familiar with Jeff Healey he's the blind guitar player who was in "Road House". If you're not familiar with "Road House" then there isn't much I can do for you.

Apparently my opinion means nothing because the National Society of Film Critics has named Lars Von Trier's "Melancholia" as their number one film of 2011. What that actually means I couldn't tell you but "Drive Angry" is nowhere to be found on the list so I'm calling the entire thing bullshit.

I continue to cover "Underworld: Awakening" news only because Eric has now already gone on record that it will be his number 1 film for 2012. So here's a new clip from the film for Eric to enjoy. It's got Kate Beckinsale blowing some crap up and running around in a cat suit. I assume at least. I didn't really watch them. These were specifically made for Eric.

The only thing I know about "The Grey" is that Liam Neeson fights a bunch of wolves in it. I have no idea what else anyone would want to know about the movie though because that's so bad ass it makes my tummy hurt. Just look at this new poster for the film. Neeson all bad ass in the snow and crap. Does your tummy hurt? No? Well I drank some Baileys that expired 3 years ago yesterday so that might be what's doing it for me. We may never know.

If you liked "Splice" then you're not me. Which explains why you never put in any sort of effort with the news. I should stop getting pissed at you I guess. But the director of the film, Vincenzo Natali, has been tapped to direct a new film titled "Haunter". The twist here is the movie is a haunted house story, but told through the eyes of a spirit haunting the house. Did your nose just start bleeding? That's because I just blew your mind.

In Real People News: 

I'll be the first to admit I don't get art. I mean don't get me wrong I understand a painting of a house is a house. But smears and all that Andy Warhol garbage is just lost on me. For that reason I don't really go to museums. If I did I might have to do like this woman in Denver, who is now being brought up on charges for trying to pee on a $30 Million painting while she was drunk.

A Oklahoma man is in some hot water after he went into a maternity store, started trying on bras and dresses and then exposed himself to everyone. I'm so baffled by this I can't come up with something witty to say. Well done my friend.

Horror Headlines: Friday, December 23rd, 2011

The chances that there's a "Gremlins 3" in the works are slim to none but it looks like the good people at Universal have registered the domain www.gremlins3.com. That could just mean that they don't want some hot shot fan boy getting the domain and putting up some nude photos of Gizmo riding a horse bareback. But who knows. Does anyone know if scarface2.com and thegodfather4.com are available?

I'm going to address this next news item to the one person I know who is actually excited about "Underworld: Awakening". Hey, Eric! There's a new trailer for "Underworld: Awakening". It looks like some sort of crappy hand held rip from "[REC]" or whatever that US version of "[REC]" was called. Man I don't know why you're so excited about this. I get it, Kate Beckinsale is in a pleather unitard, or whatever, but come on man. Is it weird that I'm addressing you directly and you're the same Eric from the podcast and the same person who proofs this news? Creepy huh? What are you wearing?

If you're still trying to squeeze your fat ass into your "Angel" size medium t-shirt then I have some bad news for you. The much discussed and long delayed "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" reboot has officially lost its writer, Whit Anderson. It also looks like the creators are going back to the drawing board throwing out some standard "it has to be done" type comments that pretty much mean "we really don't want to do it so we're going to make up some excuses about it not feeling right and then go back to napping on the giant pile of cash we already have.". That's just my guess though.

You'll get no sarcasm from me here folks because I just wet myself after reading the news that a "Jaws" Blu-Ray release is finally coming. Granted it's not hitting till the summer of 2012 and yes that's confusing because it's probably just going to include the same features I've watched a thousand times but still. It's going to be so crystal clear you'll feel like you're in the water with the shark. Not that you'd want to be... it kills people, remember.

In Real People News: 

The holidays are a stressful time of the year for anyone. So it's understandable that this NY teacher snapped, started wrestling one of his students and eventually bit a female student who tried to intervene. Understandable, but 100% illegal.

And because this weekend is Christmas and I'm not a complete monster, here's a video of an adorable chimp getting a blanket ride from it's mother.

Horror Headlines: Monday November 14th, 2011

I'm two books into "The Hunger Games" trilogy and I'm not going to lie, I actually like them a lot. The entire time though I've had a weird feeling that I'm getting into some sort of strange "Twilight" cult by reading them. Now I've seen the trailer for the first film and it's confirmed. I'm the next big teenage heartthrob book series. Soon I'm going to have to pick which guy I like better and get his name tattooed on my ass.

I think Eric, BGH's CFO, might be the only person in the world who is excited about "Underworld: Awakening". The film is the fourth installment in the long running vampires vs. werewolfs series and hits theater in full frontal 3D this coming January. To celebrate all it's glory here's a new poster for you to view. It's got Kate Beckinsale all gunned up. Well it's got a painting or something of her. She's like 37 or something now and that's disgusting in real life.

Isn't it cool how Sam Raimi puts Bruce Campbell in all his movies? Ya know as a "hey remember when we made low budget horror flicks together? I appreciate you man". Well it looks like Bruce's cameo in Sam's new film "Oz: The Great and Powerful" has already been cut before the cameras even started to roll. I bet it's because some woman told Sam to do it. Freakin Yoko Ono's.

John Ritter is not going to let being dead for 8 years stop his acting career. His new film "Terror Tract", about a real estate agent who terrorizes a couple, is now streaming on Netflix for your viewing pleasure. Alright the movie has actually been sitting around since before Ritter's death in 2003 but it's a lot more fun to pretend he's acting from beyond the grave. Spooky Ritter!

In Real People News: 

Hitting your girlfriend in the head with your guitar is awful enough but when you rattle off something like "When a woman messes with my guitar, she messes with my world." you just sound like a douche. Ya know, a bigger douche then if you had just hit her.

And here's a story about a guy accused of going down on a female dog. Happy Monday!

Horror Headlines: Wednesday September 21st, 2011

If there's one thing people say to me after they get over the shock of meeting a real life podcast superstar it's that they wish "Underworld: Awakening" would be released in IMAX 3D. Well folks your dreams have been answered. No I don't mean the one you keep having of me where I'm floating above your bed in a school girl outfit I mean the IMAX thing. Because if you're not going to see Kate Beckinsale on a 700 foot screen you shouldn't see her at all. My measurements may be a bit off. Just FYI.

I'm not going to lie, the first trailer for "Paranormal Activity 3" made me go peepee in my pants a little bit. Just a little bit! And now here's a new poster for the flick. It didn't make me wet myself but it did give me a strange pressing sensation on my bladder. It then made me have a sharp stabbing pain that was immediately followed by a extreme burning. I think I may need to go see a doctor.

I love behind the scenes photos from movies sets. I love to see actors doing the same things I do. Things like drinking coffee, eating a sandwich or watching people make number 2 through a hole they drilled in the bathroom wall. And here's some cool pics of Kevin bacon, Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds on the set of "R.I.P.D.", a new flick about two living dead cops on the hunt for a killer. Sorry, they aren't doing any of those things I said. I probably shouldn't have given you that impression.

Ti West, who I think is kind of a jerk for making "The House of the Devil" and for having that name and not being Asian, looks to finally be getting a release for his flick "The Innkeepers" thanks to the folks at Magnolia Pictures. The film, which focuses on a pair of investigators trying to prove a hotel is haunted as it's being shut down, will be released on VOD on December 30th before a theatrical release is given in February.

In Real People News: 

I remember the terror as a child when I realized it was show and tell day and I had nothing. Apparently the same terror ran through this Texas kid's head because he decided to grab his mom's crack pipe and drugs and bring them in to school. Next week he can bring in her mug shot. Way to plan ahead.

And here's a frightening story about a gang of drag queens that are terrorizing a Florida town and looting local shops for supplies to complete their drag-drobes. That's a new term I just made up for drag wardrobes. You're welcome RuPaul.

Horror Headlines: Friday August 19th, 2011

The world doesn't need another "Underworld" movie but according to recently polls the world does need partly nude Kate Backinsale. It just so happens that both of these collide in the giant werewolf vs vampire masterpiece that is "Underworld: Awakening" which has its first trailer ready for your viewing. Watch it and let us know if anything awakened. You sinner you.

Ridley Scott is confirming that he will direct and produce a new "Blade Runner" film in the not to distant future. Unfortunately that's about all the info that's been released on the project so no telling if the film will be a sequel, prequel or even a remake. Will Harrison Ford be in it? Will I see it 18 years after it's release date and wonder what the hell the big deal is like the original? Only time will tell.

I'm not going to lie, I like the way Carla Gugino is put together. Now that that's out in the open I'd like to tell you about "Hide", a new made for TV film she'll be staring in that sees her playing the role of Boston detective investigating a case of 6 women who turn up mummified. Will she have an accent? Oh I hope she has an accent!

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu has a name I couldn't begin to try an pronounce but he's directed a bunch of movies that smart people like so it's probably exciting news for anyone who reads the Wall Street Journal that he's signed on to direct a new bear attack movie set in 1823 titled "The Revenant". I can also not pronounce that title so this guy's 2 for 2 on me. I smell Oscar.

In Real People News: 

It seems like common knowledge but apparently this Idaho woman doesn't know the unwritten rule of making sure the elderly person you're stealing prescription medicine from is senile enough to not remember anything. She must have been absent that day in school.

And here's a 22 year old from Maine who was arrested after he stole a man's credit card. How did they catch him? Well he called the credit card company to see what kind of credit limit he was working with. For god's sake you set up an online account if you want to do that crap. Everyone knows that.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday July 5th, 2011

Need another reason to come out of your mom's basement and head to Comic Con this year? Well it looks like "Underworld 4" will get it's big premier there in just a couple weeks and what's more the film's star Kate Beckinsale will be on hand to answer a bunch of nerdy questions that you shouldn't actually care about. Dust off your Boba Fett costume, I bet she'll be impressed by it.

While things are still ramping up on Rob Zombie's "The Lords of Salem" the crusty one has been nice enough to give us a glimpse of one of the nasty props he has come up with for the film. Namely a big old chair with tons of little spiky bits shooting out of it that I assume will be used for some sort of witch trial fun. There's also a picture of his wife's ass on the page if the chair doesn't do it for you.

To celebrate it's 20th anniversary 1981's "Halloween 2" will be getting the blu-ray treatment on September 13th of this very year. Trust me I did the math. Along with an alternative ending the disc will also be packed with the 1984 documentary "Terror in the Aisles" which is hosted by Dr. Loomis himself, Donald Pleasence. I can't wait to see what they do for "Halloween H20" in just 7 short years.

Every jackass with a phone can get a video of Beyonce falling on her ass these days and luckily they can also get some video from the set of "The Dark Knight Rises". In the clip you can see Anne Hathaway prancing around the stand-in for Wayne Manor in foggy old England. honestly this could be a behind the scenes shot from "The Princess Diaries 3" for all I know. I think Christopher Nolan is set to direct that too.

In Real People News: 

A Michigan man who was arrested 5 years ago for making love to a sheep went back on the lamb (I know it's just to easy) recently and was taken back into custody after breaking into a local farm where a group of cows and pigs were being housed. Nice to see he loves all animals equally though. Nice to see in this day and age.

Well it's as good an excuse as any I guess. An Oregon man was arrested recently while looking into a woman's house after his excuse of looking for his cat didn't fly with the cops. Of course not many people look for their cat while using their body as an amusement park but what do I know. I'm more of a dog person.

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