the innkeepers

I don't think anyone is excited about the DVD release of "The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)" but it's happening and it's my journalistic duty to tell you about the new box art that's been released for the ass-to-mouth opus. The hit goes on sale on Valentines day, of course, and will include director commentary, behind the scenes videos, deleted scenes and some other random goodies. And by goodies I mean stuff that will make you throw up in your mouth.

Speaking of DVD releases, it looks like the A&E miniseries "Bag of Bones", based on the Stephen King novel by the same name will be hitting shelves on March 13th. Which is surprising because I didn't realize it actually aired already. Right now it looks like the only special features being included are a couple of short features about the series, which focuses on a father wrapped up in a bitter custody battle after the death of his wife. So get ready for that hot box to hit... That's what she said.

The birth of my daughter, my wedding day and the release of "Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance". These are the three things I've been most excited about in my lifetime. I put them in that order only because I know my wife reads my news from time to time. So here's a new TV spot for the Nic Cage sequel that hits theaters on February 17th. I love you honey and I'm sorry... just about everything.

And here's a new clip from Ti West's "The Innkeepers" which has already found it's way onto VOD. If you're not up to speed on the flick it focuses on two innkeepers who try to prove their place of employment is haunted before it closes its doors for good. Anyone ever listen to that band Vison Of Disorder. I think about them every time I write about a movie that's hit VOD. Also that it's because of bands like them that I never got laid in High School.

Ti West sounds like a rapper's name and for that reason I hate him. Now that we've gotten that out of the way here's the latest trailer for the directors new movie "The Innkeepers". The story revolves around two innkeepers who are determined to prove their inn is haunted before it closes its doors after being open for 100 years. It wouldn't hurt to toss in some bling and girls in booty shorts Ti. I'm just saying.

Norway is so hot right now. Not literally, I bet it's cold as hell over there right now. If you need proof just check out the trailer for "Dunderland" a new flick from the great fjords that follows a group of actors as they uncover the witchy secrets of an old abandoned Boy Scout camp. And by "Boy Scout" I assume they mean trolls because we all know Norway is 75% troll and 35% black metal fans. That's just simple math.

George R. R. Martin, author of "Games of Thrones", has made it ok for grown men to run around dressed up like they work at Medieval Times and not be mocked. For that I am pretty disappointed in him. But I love the show and in turn I am now excited to see that his book series "Wild Cards", which shows the effects of a alien virus outbreak in NYC, will be coming to the big screen.

If you're excited for the next installment of "The Chronicles of Riddick" series then you might be in trouble. Production on the film has been shut down in Montreal because One Race Films, which is owned by star Vin Diesel, have failed to pay for the studio where the film is being shot. If I was Vin I could blow something up then look at the camera and say "Check's in the mail" in a real bad ass voice. What am I saying, Vin Diesel only has one voice, bad ass.

If there's one thing people say to me after they get over the shock of meeting a real life podcast superstar it's that they wish "Underworld: Awakening" would be released in IMAX 3D. Well folks your dreams have been answered. No I don't mean the one you keep having of me where I'm floating above your bed in a school girl outfit I mean the IMAX thing. Because if you're not going to see Kate Beckinsale on a 700 foot screen you shouldn't see her at all. My measurements may be a bit off. Just FYI.

I'm not going to lie, the first trailer for "Paranormal Activity 3" made me go peepee in my pants a little bit. Just a little bit! And now here's a new poster for the flick. It didn't make me wet myself but it did give me a strange pressing sensation on my bladder. It then made me have a sharp stabbing pain that was immediately followed by a extreme burning. I think I may need to go see a doctor.

I love behind the scenes photos from movies sets. I love to see actors doing the same things I do. Things like drinking coffee, eating a sandwich or watching people make number 2 through a hole they drilled in the bathroom wall. And here's some cool pics of Kevin bacon, Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds on the set of "R.I.P.D.", a new flick about two living dead cops on the hunt for a killer. Sorry, they aren't doing any of those things I said. I probably shouldn't have given you that impression.

Ti West, who I think is kind of a jerk for making "The House of the Devil" and for having that name and not being Asian, looks to finally be getting a release for his flick "The Innkeepers" thanks to the folks at Magnolia Pictures. The film, which focuses on a pair of investigators trying to prove a hotel is haunted as it's being shut down, will be released on VOD on December 30th before a theatrical release is given in February.

Ti West prepares to head behind the camera once again, this time with a spooky tale of a haunted hotel in "The Innkeepers".

Jessica Alba finds herself headlining a controversial horror film that was the last to be picked up at the recent Sundance Film Festival. Alba left part way through the first screening of "The Killer Inside Me", leaving director Michael Winterbottom to field angry questions as to why it was necessary to show such gratuitous violence towards women.

The Syfy Channel continues its legacy of "high quality" films as it prepares to revisit some classic fairy tales, with a twist. Slated for remakes are "Little Red Riding Hood", and "Hansel and Gretel".

Daniel Craig will be exchanging his dapper "Bond" trappings for a set of spurs as he signs on to headline Jon Favreau's big screen adaptation of "Cowboys & Aliens".

Scout Taylor-Compton rambles on via YouTube about why she doesn't want to play Laurie Strode in a Zombie-less "Halloween 3". She never mentions if anyone has actually ASKED her to.