Jessica Alba

This week we debate the finer points of how to best pronounce "Machete", and the possible attractiveness of a certain fiery Latina.

I do not have any freakin clue what "Machete" is about but I'm not sure that really matters. From what I can tell Danny Trejo plays a guy who is "double crossed" and then starts cutting people up. Then Cheech Marin, who plays a priest, mind you, decides he wants to help so he blows up some cars. Then Jessica Alba comes out and does some really bad acting. Then Lindsay Lohan dresses up like a nun and shoots people in the face. Oh and Steven Seagal and Don Johnson are there too. I'm sure I'm forgetting something but it doesn't really matter.

"The Killer Inside Me" has apparently caused quite a shit storm over its intense brutality and all around good times overseas. Lucky for us Americans today we get to see a clip from the much anticipated Michael Winterbottom flick. A clip of three guys riding in a car talking about something completely out of context that confuses the hell out of me. But still it's got Casey Affleck in it and that guy's a dream boat.

Ti West prepares to head behind the camera once again, this time with a spooky tale of a haunted hotel in "The Innkeepers".

Jessica Alba finds herself headlining a controversial horror film that was the last to be picked up at the recent Sundance Film Festival. Alba left part way through the first screening of "The Killer Inside Me", leaving director Michael Winterbottom to field angry questions as to why it was necessary to show such gratuitous violence towards women.

The Syfy Channel continues its legacy of "high quality" films as it prepares to revisit some classic fairy tales, with a twist. Slated for remakes are "Little Red Riding Hood", and "Hansel and Gretel".

Daniel Craig will be exchanging his dapper "Bond" trappings for a set of spurs as he signs on to headline Jon Favreau's big screen adaptation of "Cowboys & Aliens".

Scout Taylor-Compton rambles on via YouTube about why she doesn't want to play Laurie Strode in a Zombie-less "Halloween 3". She never mentions if anyone has actually ASKED her to.

Lions Gates "The Eye" is a remake of the 2002 film from Hong Kong by The Pang Brothers, an international hit and favorite to many horror fans. Let me start off by saying that from what I can remember, this remake is fairly faithful to the source material. However, it has been years since I've seen the original, so this review will mainly be an objective take on this American version.