Kevin bacon

Horror Headlines: Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, Feb 2nd 2012

Say what you want about Russell Crowe but the guy has never made a bad movie, that's a fact. So I guess don't say what you want. You can say anything other than he's a bad actor. So the news that he's possibly in the running for the lead role in the upcoming "Robocop" reboot is nothing but good. Especially after yesterday's news that the guy who wrote "Gran Torino" is penning the script. An elder racist gladiator who turns into a robot? This is going to be the greatest movie ever.

If you see one "stranded in Moscow because of a weird alien invasion flick that came out last year on blu-ray or DVD" this year then I suggest you make it "The Darkest Hour" which has officially been confirmed to be hitting selves on April 20th. That was a long sentence huh? You fancy pants fat cats can even get it in 3D with special features that include... well I don't know. The movie is on there though I'm sure. It would have to be, wouldn't it?

"The Devil Inside" mastermind William Brent Bell has officially thrust the name of his next film upon the world. The film will be called "Wer" and will be a found footage flick about a man being held at a police station who turns into a werewolf. Shooting will begin on the project in April and if I was a betting man I'd say it'll be wrapped just in time for Mid-April.

Kevin Bacon has been confirmed for the lead role in the upcoming Kevin Williamson TV series which revolves around a serial killer who makes his own cult of murderers. No word on the title of the series but Bacon will be playing the role of the FBI agent trying to stop the evil doer. This has got me really excited about a whole new batch of clever Bacon puns that I can start using. None of which I can think of but I'm sure they'll be great.

In Real People News:

I'd see no problem if this happened down in Orlando but a new law being voted on in Virginia that would restructure the school year around the amusement park Kings Dominion's schedule seems ridiculousness. I mean I guess if you have a season pass or something you should be able to skip the first couple weeks of school. But I don't think that needs to be in the law books or anything.

If I had a nickle for every time I read a story about a 74 year old guy accidentally choking to death on his dentures while having sex with a hooker than well I'd have a nickle. The interesting part of this story is that the hooker said they had been having sex for 30 minutes when it happened. A 74 year old man having sex for 30 god damn minutes. She probably choked him to death just to get his wrinkly man bag off of her.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday September 21st, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Sep 21st 2011

If there's one thing people say to me after they get over the shock of meeting a real life podcast superstar it's that they wish "Underworld: Awakening" would be released in IMAX 3D. Well folks your dreams have been answered. No I don't mean the one you keep having of me where I'm floating above your bed in a school girl outfit I mean the IMAX thing. Because if you're not going to see Kate Beckinsale on a 700 foot screen you shouldn't see her at all. My measurements may be a bit off. Just FYI.

I'm not going to lie, the first trailer for "Paranormal Activity 3" made me go peepee in my pants a little bit. Just a little bit! And now here's a new poster for the flick. It didn't make me wet myself but it did give me a strange pressing sensation on my bladder. It then made me have a sharp stabbing pain that was immediately followed by a extreme burning. I think I may need to go see a doctor.

I love behind the scenes photos from movies sets. I love to see actors doing the same things I do. Things like drinking coffee, eating a sandwich or watching people make number 2 through a hole they drilled in the bathroom wall. And here's some cool pics of Kevin bacon, Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds on the set of "R.I.P.D.", a new flick about two living dead cops on the hunt for a killer. Sorry, they aren't doing any of those things I said. I probably shouldn't have given you that impression.

Ti West, who I think is kind of a jerk for making "The House of the Devil" and for having that name and not being Asian, looks to finally be getting a release for his flick "The Innkeepers" thanks to the folks at Magnolia Pictures. The film, which focuses on a pair of investigators trying to prove a hotel is haunted as it's being shut down, will be released on VOD on December 30th before a theatrical release is given in February.

In Real People News:

I remember the terror as a child when I realized it was show and tell day and I had nothing. Apparently the same terror ran through this Texas kid's head because he decided to grab his mom's crack pipe and drugs and bring them in to school. Next week he can bring in her mug shot. Way to plan ahead.

And here's a frightening story about a gang of drag queens that are terrorizing a Florida town and looting local shops for supplies to complete their drag-drobes. That's a new term I just made up for drag wardrobes. You're welcome RuPaul.

Horror Headlines: Monday August 22nd, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Monday, Aug 22nd 2011

The new FX series "American Horror Story" has a new teaser this morning and I'm not 100% sure but I think someone slipped some shrooms in my muffin. The series follows a family that moves into a new house that appears to play on all of their deepest fears. From the video it looks like those fears are bursting into flames, people in rubber suits and slutty maids. The muffin was corn if you were wondering. And it was delicious.

Sometimes the demand for a movie is so great that not even the warmongers in Hollywood can stop it from happening. "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" is just such a film and today my friends we have the first trailer for the soon to be Oscar winning epic. Nic Cage with a giant burning skull riding around on a bike blowing crap up. Prepare for your eyes to shoot out of your head and start dry humping the computer screen.

There's a gaggle of Amityville movies lined up for the near future so it only makes sense that the folks at The Asylum would throw their hats in the ring. Yes the same company that bequeathed "Titanic 2" on us. The movie will be called "Amityville Haunted" and while no specific details have been released it sounds like the movie will have no real ties to the classic story.

"Weeds" star Mary-Louise Parker is the latest addition to the growing cast of "R.I.P.D". Based on the graphic novel of the same name the undead buddy cop flick has already got Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Bridges and Kevin Bacon in its roster. Parker will play the overseer of the secret undead agency, a role that was originally offered to Jodie Foster. I think I was next on the list after Parker so this is kind of a let down.

In Real People News:

As a new parent I can confirm the fact that babies take up a ton of space. Not to mention all the crap you have to shove into your car every time you want to go to Hooters. Now try to pack all that crap into a pick up truck and you get a Florida woman riding around town with a baby in a stroller in the back of a pickup truck. Don't worry though it wasn't her baby, she was just babysitting. You don't put your own baby in that kind of danger. Oh and bonus points, the entire thing was caught on video.

I don't understand this one at all. A Illinois man is under arrest after he attacked his mother with a butcher knife after she offered to make him a sandwich. Who hates sandwiches so much that they attack anyone who offers them one? Who hates sandwiches? What the hell is wrong with the world?!

Horror Headlines: Friday July 29th, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Friday, Jul 29th 2011

Kevin Bacon has signed on to the big screen adaptation of "R.I.P.D.", a comic book that follows two undead cops who still walk the beat. Bacon looks to be playing a villain in the film and Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds have already been confirmed as the cop duo. Bacon in between Reynolds and Bridges? Sounds delicious.

It's about time a horror movie was set in Poland. Yes "Haunted Poland", which has a new trailer, looks like it's a pretty bad rip off of "Paranormal Activity" and yes it looks like it had a budget of about 9 bucks but still. Poland! Land of kielbasa and perogies. Exporters of some of the finest strippers ever to take the stage. If I knew their national anthem I'd be singing it right now.

Concept art for Robert Rodriguez flick "Fire and Ice" has hit the tubes and it looks like it's taken from the most bad ass white trash van in 1984. Based on the artwork of Frank Frazetta the film's synopsis gave me a headache when I tried to comprehend it but from what I can understand there's some guys who fight glaciers and have to find some sort of fire thing and then get help from a wolf. I'm way off I'm sure but the way I explain it sounds pretty awesome so they should make a movie out of that too.

Finally the movie we've all been waiting for will get its DVD on August 30. I'm speaking of course about "Lizard Boy" the heartwarming tale about a doctor who fuses human DNA with a lizard and raises the freak outcome as his son... only to find he's developed a pretty hefty taste for human blood. What, no Blu-Ray version? How am I suppose to watching this when it isn't in pure crystal clear HD?

In Real People News:

This is very very wrong but I can't say I'm not a little impressed by the guy who put hidden cameras in a Florida apartment being rented by two Bulgarian women in their 20s. Ya know what, I'm not sure if I believe this story. I'm going to need to see this footage before I can make any judgments.

A woman in South Carolina is currently facing obscenity charges due to the fact that she was driving around town with a plastic ball sack hanging off her truck. The case is currently in front of a judge and honestly I've never wanted to be called for jury duty until now. I'd probably be dismissed for giggling like a school girl though.

Netflix Streaming Friday: "Tremors"

Submitted by Angelo B on Friday, May 27th 2011

Let's be honest, if you have to read this because you've never seen "Tremors", there's something pretty substantially wrong in your life. You've missed out on one of life's greatest pleasures, Kevin Bacon's highest career watermark (the low: the invisible CGI schlong in "Hallow Man") and the best character named Bert this side of Sesame Street. Oh, and some giant man-eating worms named "Graboids".