Alexander Ludwig was apparently in "The Hunger Games" but I'm pretty sure I'd remember seeing his prick looking face during the film so I'm not positive he was. He will be in the new revenge flick "Final Girl" though. Or at least that's what the hyper tubes are telling me. Ludwig (just typing that makes me angry) will play one of the young lads who pick the wrong girl to harass and find themselves in a world of hurt.
Hey don't you just love Rutina Wesley on "True Blood"?! Trick question! If you said yes then we can't be friends anymore. But let's settle this later because right now we're talking about how Rutina has been cast in "Angry Little Gods", the US remake of the Thai horror flick "13: Game of Death". The flick focuses on a man trying to pay for his wedding when he's told he's on a hidden camera show and must complete 13 tasks. If task number 1 was to watch an episode of "True Blood" I'd lose before that stupid theme song was over.
Dimension Films has slapped their new alien abduction flick "Dark Skies" with a February 22nd 2013 release date. Staring Keri Russell (OMG Felicity!) the film focuses on a family being terrorized by aliens who invade their home each night. Alright I've never seen an episode of "Felicity". I know she ruined the show when she cut her hair though. Everyone knows that.
Rumors are floating around that NBC may in fact be pulling the plug on "Mockingbird Lane", their "The Munsters" reboot, before the show even gets going. Of course the show's creator, Bryan Fuller, has taken to the tweets to say those rumors are complete BS so all we can do is wait and see. Or we could just ignore the whole thing all together. Let's do that. No one cares about this show anyway to be honest. I'm sorry I brought it up.
Here's a picture of a 4 pound hairball that was removed from a 19 year old girl's stomach in India recently. Feel free to post comments below with what you find in your throw up after viewing the photo.
It's 4/20, kids! I forgot what I was going to write here.
Well it's official folks. Francis Lawrence, the guy who directed "I Am legend" has been selected by the folks at Lionsgate to direct "Catching Fire", the much anticipated second film in the "The Hunger Games" series. This squashes the rumor that David Cronenberg might be taking on the task. I guess it also kills any dreams I had of directing it too.
Genre supervet David S. Goyer is currently on the hunt for a writer to pen the script of his new supernatural thriller. He's teaming up with David Linde’s Lava Bear for the joint which he hopes to begin rolling on in the near future. At least I assume he hopes. Honestly there's not much info here and I'm just trying to keep you interested. Want me to show you some cleavage?
I have never seen Chan-wook Park's "Old Boy". I'm sorry. I've also never heard of the 2005 French film "The Ax". So I can't even begin to explain how excited I am not that Chan-wook Park is doing a remake of "The Ax". The film is about a young chap who's out of work and decided to do away with his competition. Sounds like a real, cut up... haha get it!? Cause of the ax reference. Man I'm on today.
Good news hot pockets. Both Mickey Rourke and Rosario Dawson will reprise their roles in the upcoming "Sin City" sequel currently titled "Sin City 2: A Dame To Kill For". If I remember right Rosario Dawson had a small role as a hooker right? Who lived in Hooker Town? I wonder what she's been up to this whole time. I hope she's the mayor of Hooker Town. She's earned it.
In Real People News:
A Delaware man is in hot water after being arrested for dropping a deuce on people's lawns for close to a year now. I have no idea why it took people a year to catch the guy. Isn't Delaware about the size of 3 square city blocks? There's about 14 people living there. What the hell is wrong with these people?
And here's a story about a veterinary student who's in trouble for having sex with a horse. As if there's any other reason people go to veterinary school.
Hey it's Friday the 13th! I completely forgot that when I got dressed this morning and just randomly put on my Jason mask t-shirt. Now I feel like that guy who wears the shirt of the band he's going to see to their concert. Only more white trash. Unless that band is White Trash, who had the second most popular song about pie in the 90's.
I wish I could stop talking about Daniel Radcliffe. I'd give anything really. But here's a new clip from "The Woman In Black", which stars the little bugger as a lawyer sent to a remote village to sort out the paperwork of a recently deceased client. In the clip he's all napping and looking so god damn cute I could just squeeze him. Oh here I go again! What did the doctor tell me? Oh yeah. I should want to invite Daniel Radcliffe over for dinner. I shouldn't want to cut into him, and wear his skin as a Key to other worlds and dimensions.
Ah crap. NBC has put in a order for a new series based on everyone's favorite blood sucker, Dracula. The show, which is cleverly titled "Dracula" is being described as "Dangerous Liaisons meets The Tudors" or in "Joe Terms" a movie I never saw crossed with a TV show that made me feel like I had just eaten a box of Fig Newtons and washed it down with a Fresca. Think about that for a few minutes.
Speaking of things that make me feel like less of a man here's a new look at Elizabeth Banks as Effie Trinket from the upcoming big screen adaptation of "The Hunger Games". I don't know why it makes me feel like less of a man but when I look at the picture I feel like I should say things like "No white pants after Labor Day" and "Oh I can't wait for Fashion Week".
In Real People News:
I love the movie "Fargo" but apparently not as much as this guy in California who got himself pulled into a wood chipper. Of course he died, which is awful. I only hope someday if I died in a strange way some prick on the internet will post the new article about it with some stupid sarcastic movie reference. It's kind of a dream of mine.
I've now officially become one of those people that snore simply because they're fat. It's a pretty proud day for me. The Mrs. doesn't seem too impressed though.
The entire world is excited about the release of the big screen adaptation of "The Hunger Games". Literally everyone in the world. Walk outside and just ask a random person. They'll wet themselves and run away giggling they're so excited. Seriously. Well prepare to get even moister because Lionsgate has announced that pre-sale tickets will go on sale Wednesday February 22nd at MovieTickets and Fandango, almost a month ahead of it's current March 23rd pre-sale date. I'm not going to tell you the actual release date because you got that tattooed on your forehead months ago and I would just feel like a jerk spoiling that for you.
If you've been chomping at the bit to see "Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters" then I got some bad news for you. The fairy tale witch hunk action romp's release date has been pushed back almost a year, from March 2, 2012 all the way to January 11, 2013. Apparently the push is happening because Paramount is surprised at the success of "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol" and "The Devil Inside" and is now trying to spread out their earnings a bit more. Because if there's one thing you don't want to do, it's earn too much money.
David Auburn has been tapped by Warner Brothers to write the big screen adaption of "A Discovery of Witches". The story follows a witch and vampire who find themselves trying to prevent a war between the two species. I'm not going to lie this sounds like the worst book and movie ever imagined and the thought of having to watch it for the podcast makes me a little ill. So ill that I need to be out that week. Please update your calendars accordingly.
Hey did you know that Michael Berryman is in Rob Zombie's "The Lords Of Salem"? Me either! Man I love coffee.
In Real People News:
Here's an article that's in Russian, I think, but the jist of it is a kid was arrested after trying to steal an MP3 player. Where did he hide it? Up his ass of course. I'm still trying to figure out what the Russian word for "ass" is but I know it's in the article somewhere.
And here's a story about one particularly frisky Papa John's employee who has been fired after he noted an order was for "Lady Chinky Eyes" on her receipt. Maybe I should talk to the manager at the local Panera Bread because they keep marking me down as "fat ass who always gets two sandwiches for himself"...
I hope you all got what you wanted for Christmas. Or if you didn't I hope you threw a hissy fit in front of your family about it. Either way I hope you had a splendid day.
Have I made any INXS jokes yet for the movie "The Devil Inside"? Let's pretend I haven't for a moment. Because I got some really hilarious quips about the twist at the end being that the demon that's possessed the girl in the film is actually Michael Hutchence. I just can't remember any of them right now. But here's a new red band trailer for the film, which honestly is going to give me nightmares. And not the normal ones I always have about INXS either.
Do yourself a favor, leave your leftover cranberry sauce on the counter for the next three days. Then eat the entire thing and watch the trailer for "Door Number 8", a new film from Telugu film, which is apparently a language. I'm not going to bother trying to explain what the movie is about. I think it's got something to do with a haunted house. Maybe not though. All I know is the trailer is insane and made me feel like I was back at Woodstock. Not the hippy one, the one where Limp Bizkit made people burn other people.
This can't be good news for "Wolf Creek 2". According to a recent report the film's major investor, Geoffrey Edelsten, is filing a suit against the films makers. He claims he never would have put up his cash if he had known he was going to be the biggest and single private investor on the project. I guess he's quickly realizing he's not going to see "Avatar" money any time soon. Silly man.
And finally here's the news you've all been waiting for. The first single from "The Hunger Games" by the one and only Taylor Swift is online and ready for you to enjoy. You're welcome, world!
I'm pretty sure now that I've read "The Hunger Games" I'll be getting my "special visitor" any day now but god damn if I'm not excited about the big screen adaptation of the book. I mean look at this new fake nail polish ad with Elizabeth Banks all prettied up. Just look at it. I've never been more ashamed of myself.
Andrzej Bartkowiak directed the movie "Doom", which was based on a video game and was awesome. If you think it was terrible then I think you're terrible. Sorry I have to be so harsh around the holidays. The reason I'm letting you know all this is Bartkowiak has now been tapped to direct a new film titled "Beneath the Deep", a new film about a group of travelers trapped in the Caribbean with some locals who see them as intruders. Sounds like my in-laws! But seriously folks, what's the deal with airplane food?
Sam Raimi is directing "Oz: The Great and Powerful" so it was pretty much a no brainer that Bruce Campbell would pop up in the film somewhere. But then Bruce took to the tweets and said he wasn't going to be able to be in the film. But now, now it looks like he is because in a recent interview he said he shot a small but pivotal scene in the film. More on this developing story as it unfolds.
"The Darkest Hour" comes out on Christmas and I've explained the plot so many times in the news that if you don't know it by now then you don't read this every day and there's a good chance you're not reading it now so I'm not sure why I'm even typing this. Here's a new clip from the film where a reporter gets all blown up and crap. Thank you for your business.
Here's a heartwarming story from Florida about a mother who is in hot water after she was arrested for pimping her 8 year old daughter. Think about that on Christmas when you don't get your Dry-Hump-Me Elmo or whatever is popular now and you say you have the worst mom ever.
A few weeks back we talked about how it looked like "The Munsters" would once again be coming to the small screen in the form of a new TV series. Well it looks like NBC has finally given the new project, which promises to be a darker version of the classic black and white show, the thumbs up. No word yet on cast but Bryan Fuller, who brought you "Pushing Daisies" will be leading the project. Or don't you remember our talks? It's not just physical for me you know!
To up the hotness level of his new film "Pacific Rim" Guillermo del Toro has added Ron Perlman to the cast list. The movie is an epic battle giant robots vs. giant monsters and I will officially start taking bets to to which one Perlman will play.
It's no surprise that a big screen version of "Catching Fire", the second book in the 3 part "Hunger Games" series, is already being produced. It might be a surprise that Simon Beaufoy, the writer of "Slumdog Millionaire", is being eyed to adapt the book. I say it might be a surprise because I assume you're all racist and terrible people. I didn't even bat an eye at the news. I guess I just don't see things the way you do.
One of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me was farting in the middle of science class in the fifth grade. Luckily the teacher had stepped out of the room but unfortunately it was during the middle of a test so the room was dead silent. I don't think I ever got over that. By the way, here's some behind the scenes photos from the set of Rob Zombie's "Lords Of Salem".
In Real People News:
I had no idea that you could get high off of bath salts but apparently you can. Apparently the high also puts you in a festive spirit because this guy in Ohio got all doped up on them, broke into a home and set up Christmas decorations. I don't think I see any down side to this.
I'm two books into "The Hunger Games" trilogy and I'm not going to lie, I actually like them a lot. The entire time though I've had a weird feeling that I'm getting into some sort of strange "Twilight" cult by reading them. Now I've seen the trailer for the first film and it's confirmed. I'm the next big teenage heartthrob book series. Soon I'm going to have to pick which guy I like better and get his name tattooed on my ass.
I think Eric, BGH's CFO, might be the only person in the world who is excited about "Underworld: Awakening". The film is the fourth installment in the long running vampires vs. werewolfs series and hits theater in full frontal 3D this coming January. To celebrate all it's glory here's a new poster for you to view. It's got Kate Beckinsale all gunned up. Well it's got a painting or something of her. She's like 37 or something now and that's disgusting in real life.
Isn't it cool how Sam Raimi puts Bruce Campbell in all his movies? Ya know as a "hey remember when we made low budget horror flicks together? I appreciate you man". Well it looks like Bruce's cameo in Sam's new film "Oz: The Great and Powerful" has already been cut before the cameras even started to roll. I bet it's because some woman told Sam to do it. Freakin Yoko Ono's.
John Ritter is not going to let being dead for 8 years stop his acting career. His new film "Terror Tract", about a real estate agent who terrorizes a couple, is now streaming on Netflix for your viewing pleasure. Alright the movie has actually been sitting around since before Ritter's death in 2003 but it's a lot more fun to pretend he's acting from beyond the grave. Spooky Ritter!