As the "Game of Thrones" fans will tell you, 'winter is coming'. And with it a new batch of horror flicks that genre fans can get relatively excited about during the post-Halloween hangover. So here's 9 to look out for during the winter to come...
9. Beautiful Creatures
Date: February 1
Director: Richard LaGravenese
Cast: Alice Englert, Viola Davis, Emmy Rossum & Emma Thompson
"Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters", staring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton has been kicking around for some time now but with a January 11th release date looming you would think the film was pretty wrapped up. No so my friends. It looks like the folks over at Paramount are now testing the film in both R and PG-13 rating form. I can only assume this means one version will have the 3 boobed hooker alien and one version won't. Wait no, that's a different movie.
I've made a ridiculous amount of "I think Ryan Reynolds is hot" jokes on this site so I'm just going to skip it this time. I'm just going to tell you about the new movie titled "Queen Of the City" he's working on where he stars as a father who begins to find clues that his child may still be alive 8 years after she was abducted. I'm not going to close with a weird comment about his rock hard abs. I'm not even going to mention is dreamy eyes that you get lost in every time you look at them.
Just in time for the holiday season IFC is set to release a new documentary titled "The Jeffrey Dahmer Files" which follows a lovable pup across the country has he tries to find the family that accidentally left him behind. Wait wait no, that's all wrong. it's about Jeffrey Dahmer, the guy who was arrested in 1991 for the murder of 17 people. It's an honest mistake.
I don't know why I get so excited about Bigfoot movies, especially since there's so many of them coming out in the near future. I think it might be because our very own Mark just gets so excited about them and any time he gets that twinkle of excitement in his eyes the world just seems a little bit brighter. I may have said too much. "Bigfoot County" is a new found footage flick about a group of filmmakers on a hunt to find the large hairy one.
I've now officially become one of those people that snore simply because they're fat. It's a pretty proud day for me. The Mrs. doesn't seem too impressed though.
The entire world is excited about the release of the big screen adaptation of "The Hunger Games". Literally everyone in the world. Walk outside and just ask a random person. They'll wet themselves and run away giggling they're so excited. Seriously. Well prepare to get even moister because Lionsgate has announced that pre-sale tickets will go on sale Wednesday February 22nd at MovieTickets and Fandango, almost a month ahead of it's current March 23rd pre-sale date. I'm not going to tell you the actual release date because you got that tattooed on your forehead months ago and I would just feel like a jerk spoiling that for you.
If you've been chomping at the bit to see "Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters" then I got some bad news for you. The fairy tale witch hunk action romp's release date has been pushed back almost a year, from March 2, 2012 all the way to January 11, 2013. Apparently the push is happening because Paramount is surprised at the success of "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol" and "The Devil Inside" and is now trying to spread out their earnings a bit more. Because if there's one thing you don't want to do, it's earn too much money.
David Auburn has been tapped by Warner Brothers to write the big screen adaption of "A Discovery of Witches". The story follows a witch and vampire who find themselves trying to prevent a war between the two species. I'm not going to lie this sounds like the worst book and movie ever imagined and the thought of having to watch it for the podcast makes me a little ill. So ill that I need to be out that week. Please update your calendars accordingly.
Hey did you know that Michael Berryman is in Rob Zombie's "The Lords Of Salem"? Me either! Man I love coffee.
In Real People News:
Here's an article that's in Russian, I think, but the jist of it is a kid was arrested after trying to steal an MP3 player. Where did he hide it? Up his ass of course. I'm still trying to figure out what the Russian word for "ass" is but I know it's in the article somewhere.
And here's a story about one particularly frisky Papa John's employee who has been fired after he noted an order was for "Lady Chinky Eyes" on her receipt. Maybe I should talk to the manager at the local Panera Bread because they keep marking me down as "fat ass who always gets two sandwiches for himself"...