Horror Headlines: Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

I've now officially become one of those people that snore simply because they're fat. It's a pretty proud day for me. The Mrs. doesn't seem too impressed though.

The entire world is excited about the release of the big screen adaptation of "The Hunger Games". Literally everyone in the world. Walk outside and just ask a random person. They'll wet themselves and run away giggling they're so excited. Seriously. Well prepare to get even moister because Lionsgate has announced that pre-sale tickets will go on sale Wednesday February 22nd at MovieTickets and Fandango, almost a month ahead of it's current March 23rd pre-sale date. I'm not going to tell you the actual release date because you got that tattooed on your forehead months ago and I would just feel like a jerk spoiling that for you.

If you've been chomping at the bit to see "Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters" then I got some bad news for you. The fairy tale witch hunk action romp's release date has been pushed back almost a year, from March 2, 2012 all the way to January 11, 2013. Apparently the push is happening because Paramount is surprised at the success of "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol" and "The Devil Inside" and is now trying to spread out their earnings a bit more. Because if there's one thing you don't want to do, it's earn too much money.

David Auburn has been tapped by Warner Brothers to write the big screen adaption of "A Discovery of Witches". The story follows a witch and vampire who find themselves trying to prevent a war between the two species. I'm not going to lie this sounds like the worst book and movie ever imagined and the thought of having to watch it for the podcast makes me a little ill. So ill that I need to be out that week. Please update your calendars accordingly.

Hey did you know that Michael Berryman is in Rob Zombie's "The Lords Of Salem"? Me either! Man I love coffee.

In Real People News: 

Here's an article that's in Russian, I think, but the jist of it is a kid was arrested after trying to steal an MP3 player. Where did he hide it? Up his ass of course. I'm still trying to figure out what the Russian word for "ass" is but I know it's in the article somewhere.

And here's a story about one particularly frisky Papa John's employee who has been fired after he noted an order was for "Lady Chinky Eyes" on her receipt. Maybe I should talk to the manager at the local Panera Bread because they keep marking me down as "fat ass who always gets two sandwiches for himself"...

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