Pacific Rim

Best of 2013 - Brett's Take

Top 10

Overall, this was a solid year with a handful of stand-out films, and then a long list of enjoyable movies. I didn't see a lot of movies that I’d consider “bad” and my only real disappointment was that I didn't get to catch any really noteworthy foreign horror outside of English-language stuff from England and Canada.

10. V/H/S 2
I wished the final two features would have been full-length films instead of shorts.

Pacific Rim (REVIEW)

Historically, the onset of the summer movie season means lean times for horror fans. While there is plenty of enjoyment to be dragged out of the big budget comic and light sci-fi films that pepper the summer blockbuster landscape, there’s a general lack of quality films for genre fans to sink their teeth into. Guillermo Del Toro has thrown us excitable devotees a bone this summer in the form of “Pacific Rim,” a Kaiju-tastic summer blockbuster that hits the spot not in spite of its cliches, but because of them.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, February 29th, 2011

Today is February 29th, also know as leap day. A day that comes but once every hundred years. Today in the city of New York all the offices and banks are closed and we're constructing a giant wood pile in the middle of time square. At the crack of noon we will begin sacrificing goats, cat, dogs and really any other animal we can find to appease the great fire God who will brings down his unholy vengeance if he is not pleased. It truly is a magical once in a lifetime experience.

Bad news for me and the 7 other people looking forward to a "Hellboy 3" coming out someday. In a recent interview the lead man himself, Ron Perlman dropped a bummer bomb when he said he didn't think it was going to happen. He then clubbed a baby seal and told a group of 1st graders there's no Santa Clause.

One movie Guillermo del Toro is making though is "Pacific Rim", a movie with a plot that confuses the hell out of me but I think there's a bunch of monsters that attack a future world. Or worlds. I think there's a Godzilla type thing. I don't know really. But Ramin Djawadi has been hired to compose the music for the movie. His credits include "Clash of the Titans", "Iron Man", and a bunch of other movies I don't remember the music in.

OMG Will Smith totally let the cat out of the bag by telling the world (some Spanish reporter) that Lady Gaga is going to make an cameo in "Men In Black 3"! Do you think she'll be an alien? I mean she's so crazy and out there I bet she's going to be an alien. Or maybe they'll go curve ball and NOT make her an alien. Oh the options are limitless. Alien! Not alien!? So many options! Too many to choose.

If you've been looking forward to seeing Billy Zane fight a leprechaun in the movie "Red Clover" then I've got some bad news, some good news, some bad news and some news that probably doesn't matter. The bad news is the title is no longer "Red Clover". It's now "Leprechaun's Revenge". The good news is the film finally has a release date of March 17th. The Bad news after that is that it's going to be on Syfy and has nothing to do with the "Leprechaun" series. The good news is it's Billy Zane. The bad news is it's Billy Zane.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to try to find a dog for your weird sex games you might want to try some place other than Craigslist because there's a good chance the cops are going to find you. I wonder if the officer who set up the sting just sort of stumbled upon the ad or has a daily task of checking the site for people looking to screw dogs.

A 68 year old Iowa man is in the hospital after he accidentally shot himself while trying to kill a caged raccoon. I'm kind of confused as to what really happened but from what I can gather it played out something like one of the old cartoons when they shoot something and it bounces off and flying around the room and eventually hits someone.

Horror Headlines: Thursday November 17th, 2011

A few weeks back we talked about how it looked like "The Munsters" would once again be coming to the small screen in the form of a new TV series. Well it looks like NBC has finally given the new project, which promises to be a darker version of the classic black and white show, the thumbs up. No word yet on cast but Bryan Fuller, who brought you "Pushing Daisies" will be leading the project. Or don't you remember our talks? It's not just physical for me you know!

To up the hotness level of his new film "Pacific Rim" Guillermo del Toro has added Ron Perlman to the cast list. The movie is an epic battle giant robots vs. giant monsters and I will officially start taking bets to to which one Perlman will play.

It's no surprise that a big screen version of "Catching Fire", the second book in the 3 part "Hunger Games" series, is already being produced. It might be a surprise that Simon Beaufoy, the writer of "Slumdog Millionaire", is being eyed to adapt the book. I say it might be a surprise because I assume you're all racist and terrible people. I didn't even bat an eye at the news. I guess I just don't see things the way you do.

One of the most embarrassing things that's ever happened to me was farting in the middle of science class in the fifth grade. Luckily the teacher had stepped out of the room but unfortunately it was during the middle of a test so the room was dead silent. I don't think I ever got over that. By the way, here's some behind the scenes photos from the set of Rob Zombie's "Lords Of Salem".

In Real People News: 

I had no idea that you could get high off of bath salts but apparently you can. Apparently the high also puts you in a festive spirit because this guy in Ohio got all doped up on them, broke into a home and set up Christmas decorations. I don't think I see any down side to this.

Here's a story about a black guy in Florida who dressed up as a Klan member and burned a cross on his front lawn to scare his wife. Insane? Yes, but you have to imagine it worked.

Horror Headlines: Friday June 17th, 2011

The premiere we've all been waiting for is finally here my friends! Yes of course I speak of Rob Zombie's Woolite commercial and much to my surprise it looks like... well if Rob Zombie did a commercial for a laundry detergent. Shocking I know. Look for our podcast on the commercial coming in the next few weeks.

Looks like the good people behind the upcoming flick "Mansion of Blood" don't have nearly as much patience as the folks behind "The Gingerdead Man" films because they just shit canned Gary Busy from the lead role. Apparently Busy had already filmed about half of his scenes but his pain in the assness became too much and he was booted.

I love me some Guillermo Del Toro but I swear to Jesus if you break up "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" there will be hell to pay. Rumor has it that Del Toro is in talks with Sunny's Charlie Day to play a role in his upcoming monsters attack earth flick "Pacific Rim" which is set for a 2013 release. Then again there's a new season of Sunny coming out in between then and if it sucks like the last one did then he can go ahead and do whatever the hell he wants.

99% of horror comedies are neither funny nor scary and guess what folks, the upcoming Halloween romp "Fun Size" will not break the mold. How do I know this? Because Chelsea Handler has just been cast in the movie and she's not funny. If you think she is you're wrong and I'm sorry. Just because she's kind of pretty and swears a lot doesn't make her hilarious. Trust me, I pay $75 a ticket to watch her talk about diddling herself for an hour at Radio City Music Hall and I didn't crack a smile once. You drop $150 bucks and all of the sudden a goofy smile and low cut shirt isn't so funny. Learn from my mistakes!

In Real People News: 

Everyone likes a little show with their dinner, that's a fact. But when the little show ends up sending you to the hospital the fun ends. Such is the case for a group of diners in Florida who had to be rushed to the hospital after a banana foster preparation went all too wrong and burned a number of diners. Always order pudding people, no one gets hurt with pudding.

And here's a story about a 29 year old woman in Washington who is under arrest after she attacked her boyfriend's genitals with a knife during a fight. And that's all I can say about this without getting dizzy.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday May 10th, 2011

Charlie Hunnam, who you might know from "Sons of Anarchy" AKA the only show still keeping me a man, has signed on to Guillermo del Toro's "Pacific Rim". The movie will be set in a future where giant monsters threaten to destroy the earth. Hunnam will most likely play some dreamy hunk who saves the day and I will most likely have to turn to my wife every time he's on screen and ask her what the hell she's looking at.

Speaking of men my wife would leave me for, Colin Hanks had signed on to the cast of season 6 of "Dexter". No word on what sort of role Hanks will play in the upcoming season that airs in October but if I'm a betting man I'd say he'll be the ying to Dexter's yang. No I don't understand what that means either.

Absolutely no one is excited about "Night of the Living Dead 3D: Re-Animation" but yet it's still being made and now there's trailers to prove it. Wait did you say you wanted to see Sarah Palin impersonations 3 years after they were relevant? No?! Well you're getting them anyway. God bless America.

The latest director's name to be tossed into the "Leatherface 3D" hat is John Luessenhop and from his IMDB page I can confirm he owns at least one awesome suit. The film will pick up directly where the original remake of the original (confused?) left off and then will jump ahead 35 years. That may or may not put them in the future. I'm awful with numbers.

In Real People News: 

A Tennessee women is under arrest after leaving her 8 year old son home alone. In her defense she did leave a movie on for the little bugger. Her big mistake though was picking a movie that was too short because once the film ended her son picked up the phone and dialed 911. Always put on "The Godfather" trilogy when you abandon your kids. I can't stress that enough.

A 16 year old cheerleader in Texas has been charged a $45,000 fine after she refused to cheer for the two students that allegedly raped her. She was kicked off the squad after she refused and her parents immediately filed a lawsuit against the school. The fine comes from the court that called the lawsuit frivolous and fined in favor of the school. So that's a nice story.

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