666 Park Avenue

Horror Headlines: Monday, July 30th, 2012

Word around town is the good folks over at Warner Bros are toying around with the idea of creating a prequel to the that classic film "The Shining." Nothing's set in stone yet, but apparently they're already in talks with Laeta Kalogridis to write the film which would focus on the events that happened at the hotel before Jack and his family showed up. Maybe we can finally find out how that bear turned into such a slut. I know I've been asking myself that for years.

It looks like Hollywood's new "it" couple Mark Wahlberg and Liam Neeson are both in talks to star in "Neuromancer," the big screen adaptation of the William Gibson's novel. Nothing has been confirmed but the book focuses on a cyber cowboy (no clue what that means) who finds himself cyberjacked (I made that up) into the wrong end up a cyberjob (made that up too). I also can't confirm they're a couple. I made up 75% of this news.

A while back we learned that Ben Stiller would be taking the lead in the big screen adaptation of the spooky BBC children's show "Rentaghost." Today we've got news that the project finally has a director in the form of "Madagascar" main man Tom McGrath. The show originally followed a recently deceased 27 year old man who sets out to make the most of of his afterlife. Ya know, cause it's a kids show and people dropping dead is cute. For the kids.

The buzz around ABC's "666 Park Avenue" hasn't been that splendid but apparently the show is already slated for a second season, or it's at least it's being written with a second season in mind. I mean no one writes a show without hoping there's going to be more than 1 season right? I'm sorry. This news is stupid.

In Real People News: 

Ever been to this Vietnamese restaurant in St. Petersburg Florida? You may of eaten rat. Have a good morning.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, May 15th, 2011

I've officially not slept in over 24 hours. Today's news might be an incoherent mess. My big fear here is actually that it will be my best to date and I'll have to start not sleeping for most of the week. I do this for you people! I'm starting to smell.

ABC has officially picked up the new series "666 Park Avenue" which focuses on a couple who tend to an apartment building full of spooky time happenings. Not going to lie I thought they had picked up the show months ago but what the hell do I know. I could be pulling your leg about this entire thing. Maybe there isn't even a show. Maybe ABC isn't even a real station!

Most of us know Caroline Williams as Stretch from "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" but now the final girl has been cast in a new film titled "Contracted". The film is about a young woman who contracts what she thinks is your average run of the mill STD during a one night stand. Williams will play the girl's mother and confidant when that not so fresh feeling takes over.

BGH's own fancy lad Jon really loved "Daybreakers" so he'll be moistening up his pantaloons when he hears the news that the films directors, the Spierig Brothers, and Ethan Hawke are once again teaming up for a new film. Titled "Predestination", the film follows a secret Government agency who sends their grunts through time to stop murderers and terrorists. Pretty sure there's a new Bruce Willis movie titled "Looper" coming out with almost the same exact plot. I blame you, Jon.

The John Landis produced joint "Some Guy Who Kills People" will see it's way to a DVD release on July 3rd for your viewing pleasure. The DVD will be chock full of commentary, extra footage and the short that inspired the film about a man who snaps and takes out his anger on a group of High School bullies who captured and tortured him. There's also an ice cream parlor, so there's a little something for your sweet tooth, Hans.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to hold up an internet cafe maybe you should think about logging out of Facebook before you go pulling out the gun. Silly internet people.

Soooo 49 headless corpses were found a long the side of the road in Mexico and appear to be related to an ongoing drug war. Please plan your Spring Break festivities accordingly.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, March 15th, 2011

Further proof that there is no god, Mr. Tom Six himself has taken to the twitters to announce that "The Human Centipede 3" will feature no less then 500 plus people joined together. Sometimes I wish I was never born.

The words "erotic-thriller" make me really uncomfortable. Probably because the last time I saw a movie that was considered that it had Madonna pouring hot candle wax on Willem Dafoe's nipples. But "Attachment" is apparently a new one starring beaver vet Sharon Stone and today we've learned that Tom Felton has also joined the cast as the college student who has a one night stand with a married woman played by Stone. I pray for no candle wax. Or at least no Willem Dafoe.

"Piranha 3DD" has been a bit up in the air as of late but today we've learned that Dimension Films has given the boob-sploitation romp a June 1st release date. In case you've forgotten the film will be released both in theaters and VOD on the same day. Ya know, in case you can't handle seeing that kind of stuff with an audience. You sicko.

Of the 37 horror shows coming out shortly "666 Park Avenue" is the one that actually sounds kind of interesting. The show will focus on a couple that takes over running an apartment building that houses a number of residents who've sold their souls to the D-man. Matt Miller, the guy who produced "Chuck" has just signed on as executive producer of the show. I have no idea if that's a good thing or not.

In Real People News: 

Way to think outside the box. A woman in Culver City California is dead after what appears to be suicide by chainsaw. I have no idea how you even go about doing something like that. The planning must have taken days.

Horror Headlines: Friday, March 9th, 2011

Elle Fanning of "Super 8" and general Fanning fame is in talks to star opposite our lord and savior Angelina Jolie in "Maleficent". The film is being created by the good people at Disney and is said to be a live action take on the classic tale of "Sleeping Beauty". I was always envious of her. Cause ya know, sleeping is so great and she must of been really well rested.

Why in the holy living hell anyone would want a "Wolf Creek" iPhone app is beyond me but it's on its way for your apping pleasure. It''s be released early next year to coincide with the release of "Wolf Creek 2" and be filled with info on the first flick, never before seen clips and a ton of other crap that no one in their right mind would pay for.

I pray every night that the new show "666 Park Avenue" is going to be like a modern day take on "227" but there's a good chance I'm going to be disappointed. Mercedes Masohn and Robert Buckley have just been added to the cast for the show that focuses on a couple who tend to an apartment building that houses a group of people who have made deals with the devil. I don't see how a Jackée type character could work into that but let's keep hope alive.

It's a slow day and all I can think about is how angry the Hulk would be if he had to work with me. So here's some news about "Prometheus" being released in IMax. You're welcome.

In Real People News: 

Scratch that. Having to sit up at night and worry that this guy from Oklahoma screwing your pigs is a lot worse. I think.

As if dropping dead isn't bad enough now you going to worry about guys like this sicko in Ohio diddling your corpse in the funeral home? It just never ends does it.

Horror Headlines: Monday, February 27th, 2011

Ever since season 2 of "The Walking Dead" picked back up I've been giddy with excitement over all the happenings with our band of zombie killers. And with news today that British actor David Morrissey will be joining the cast in season 3 as "The Governor", the leader of a group of survivors that the run into Rick and the gang, well I'm just skipping around. Alright honestly I don't even know who this guy but this is the best you're going to get today. Don't forget to tip your waiter.

Christian Bale has been confirmed to be taking the lead role in a new revenge flick from "Crazy Heart" director Scott Cooper titled "Out of the Furnace". The film is set in 1986 Indiana and Bale will play a former prisoner who finds out his brother has been murdered while he was locked up. I smell prison shower scene! Not literally, I don't know what that would actually smell like. Awful I bet.

I've lost track of what's actually going on with the "Robocop" remake but it looks like "The Killing" star Joel Kinnaman has received an offer from MGM to take on the lead role of Alex Murphy, the cop turned robot.. or Robocop as you might call him. Seriously, didn't Colin Farrell already take the role? What the hell is going on here. Where am I!?

I didn't want to talk about this because I feel like there's a new casting update every day for some new horror show but here goes. Dave Annable has joined the cast of "666 Park Avenue." Please update your score cards.

In Real People News: 

A SWAT team in Florida spent over 8 hours this past Sunday in a heated stand off with a 75 year old man they thought had barricaded himself in his house. Of course heated in this case means the guy was actually just fast asleep from a mixture of alcohol and sleeping pills but it's Florida, they use different terms down there.

This guy in Florida isn't just your average run of the mill public masturbater. No he makes weird animal noises in the bushes to attract people while he's doing it. Of course if you walk over to a bush because there's weird animal noises coming from it you should probably get bit by an animal so seeing a guy go to town on himself might not be that bad.

Horror Headlines: Friday, February 17th, 2012

This weekend my wife and I start some weird cleanse and I'm not allowed to have caffeine or alcohol for 4 weeks. I have only myself to blame for this because it was my idea. I just want you to know this in case next week's news is awful. Well more awful then it usually is. You've been warned.

Sad news today, "Scary Movie 5" has had its release date pushed from April 20th of this year all the way to January 11th of 2013. The sad news though is that Gary Carter died yesterday afternoon. The "Scary Movie 5" thing is great news because who the hell wants to see that, seriously.

Exorcism flicks... am I right? But hold up before you go groaning because "The Seventh Son" is set in the 1700's and stars Jeff Bridges as a teacher of the Exorcism arts. We all love him in a "lock him up in our basement and make him quote "The Big Lebowski" and "Tron" all day" sort of way. The film was announced a while back but the exiting news today is that it's officially set to start filming in a couple weeks. Does anyone know his home address?

I had no idea there was a new Zorro movie in the works but it looks like spicy hot actor Gael Garcia Bernal has been cast in the lead role of "Zorro Reborn". The film promises to be a grittier version of the original TV series and numerous films on the masked one. It'll apparently also be set in the future. And not in Mexico. And he won't be called Zorro I assume.

I've been talking about ABC's "666 Park Avenue" for a while now. To anyone who will listen really. People next to me at the urinal for instance. I'm not allowed in a number of bars anymore. But they need to know that Terry O’Quinn, of "Lost" fame has just been cast as one half of a couple that moves to NYC to run an apartment building that just so happens to house a number of residents who have made deals with the devil. I have to go tell them now.

In Real People News: 

Here's a heartwarming story about an Ohio woman who was taken into custody after threatening to cut her boyfriend up after he didn't give her a Valentine's Day gift for her. She sounds so sweet, too. I don't know what this guy's deal is. Doesn't he like being happy?

I have never been to a Wendy's that didn't have an angry prick working behind the counter. So I love this guy in Ohio who took a sledgehammer to his local burger shop simply because "Wendy’s is making him mad". I wish I could high five him.

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