Let's just go ahead and accept that fact that I will most linky only write the news once this week. If by chance I end up doing more than that it's really just icing on the cake right? You're welcome.
Stephen King's "The Stand" is probably the longest book I've ever read. I started and stopped 3 times and it took me over a year but I am proud to say that I read it and have forgotten most of it. I'm 95% sure I loved it though. The point here is there's a film version of the novel in the works and Scott Cooper of "Crazy Heart" fame has been picked up as the director. Ben Affleck was originally set to take on the job but now he's playing Batman and pissing off everyone on the internet so his hands are pretty full. Of money! Am I right? "The Town" was great.
"X-Files" creator Chris Carter has dropped word that he has a solid idea for a third film and is waiting on Twentieth Century Fox to give him the green light. The third film would go back to the mythology of the original series and the alien invasion date which has now come and past. I for one would like to go back and explore the mythology that David Duchovny is dreamy. I'm not sure I'm using that word right.
I had no idea that "The Wicker Tree" was actually a follow up to the original "The Wicker Man" but I guess if I read my own news or did any sort of research on what I'm actually typing I would have. Good news here though is original creator Robin Hardy is moving forward with "Wrath Of the Gods", the third and final film in the series. No real details about the movie are available yet but he hopes to start filing in 2014 and plans to have this one focus on the gods that the islanders worship, rather than the offerings being sacrificed for them. I can't even lie, half the time I just read the title of the article and assume I know what's going on in the news.
I could have sworn this was already news but "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" will finally see it's way to VOD on September 6th and selected theaters on October 11th. Seriously this already happened right? I'm positive I've already made every stupid comment I'm thinking of so just go back and read those. I bet they were hilarious.
In Real People News:
A convenience store clerk in Connecticut has been critically injured after trying to stop two men from stealing a David Hasselhoff display in his store. Seems worth it doesn't it.
Bath salts are apparently a thing and this guy in Indiana went on a 90 minute rampage after he got all hopped up on 'em. Looks like battery, robbery, second-degree kidnapping, battery with the intent to commit a serious felony, cruelty to animals, malicious injury to property, and all kinds of other awesome fun is now on his list of offenses. Way to go buddy. Bring it back in a big way.
Sammy Shepard is a creepy bastard. It's a fact. It's on the internet, there's no arguing it. For this fact alone he is a perfect fit for Scott Cooper's new gritty 80's era crime-thriller "Out Of the Furnace". The story follows a man recently released from prison who finds his brother has been murdered. Shepard plays the killer but we don't find that out till the end. Oh, spoiler alert. I'm kidding of course. I have no idea who the killer is. Man if it is him though wouldn't that be cool? It's like I can see the future or something. Think of a number and let me know on twitter when you're ready. I'll tell you what number you're thinking of.
Strap in kids because "The Dark knight Rises" has officially been given a rating by the MPAA. It's such big news that I think we should just sit back and take a deep breath and prepare for it. Now look around the room. Is there anything you want to say to the people around you before you read this in case the news gives you a heart attack and you die right there? Go tell them. I'll wait. No maybe you might want to go to the bathroom. I heard when you die everything lets go and you don't want a giant mess ruining your corpse. Ok. Are we good? Ready? Here we go. PG-13. The rating is PG-13.
There's all kinds of problems going on with Tom Six's "The Human Centipede Three". Namely Six and the first film's star Dieter Laser having slap fights about money or some crap. Well today news has dropped that Laser is officially out of the project and will be replaced by none other Udo Kier, who kind of looks like Dieter Laser so i guess problem solved. Ya know, unless you see the film actually being made as the problem. In which case you're still SOL.
Boys will be boys! And 18 year old Florida chap is in hot water after he apparently drove into a crowd on purpose. The whole thing went down after the boy and his sister got into a fight with a group and decided to mow down their opposition. Like the age old saying goes. Never bring a knife to a car fight. Or something.
Ever since season 2 of "The Walking Dead" picked back up I've been giddy with excitement over all the happenings with our band of zombie killers. And with news today that British actor David Morrissey will be joining the cast in season 3 as "The Governor", the leader of a group of survivors that the run into Rick and the gang, well I'm just skipping around. Alright honestly I don't even know who this guy but this is the best you're going to get today. Don't forget to tip your waiter.
Christian Bale has been confirmed to be taking the lead role in a new revenge flick from "Crazy Heart" director Scott Cooper titled "Out of the Furnace". The film is set in 1986 Indiana and Bale will play a former prisoner who finds out his brother has been murdered while he was locked up. I smell prison shower scene! Not literally, I don't know what that would actually smell like. Awful I bet.
I've lost track of what's actually going on with the "Robocop" remake but it looks like "The Killing" star Joel Kinnaman has received an offer from MGM to take on the lead role of Alex Murphy, the cop turned robot.. or Robocop as you might call him. Seriously, didn't Colin Farrell already take the role? What the hell is going on here. Where am I!?
I didn't want to talk about this because I feel like there's a new casting update every day for some new horror show but here goes. Dave Annable has joined the cast of "666 Park Avenue." Please update your score cards.
This guy in Florida isn't just your average run of the mill public masturbater. No he makes weird animal noises in the bushes to attract people while he's doing it. Of course if you walk over to a bush because there's weird animal noises coming from it you should probably get bit by an animal so seeing a guy go to town on himself might not be that bad.