Let's just go ahead and accept that fact that I will most linky only write the news once this week. If by chance I end up doing more than that it's really just icing on the cake right? You're welcome.
Stephen King's "The Stand" is probably the longest book I've ever read. I started and stopped 3 times and it took me over a year but I am proud to say that I read it and have forgotten most of it. I'm 95% sure I loved it though. The point here is there's a film version of the novel in the works and Scott Cooper of "Crazy Heart" fame has been picked up as the director. Ben Affleck was originally set to take on the job but now he's playing Batman and pissing off everyone on the internet so his hands are pretty full. Of money! Am I right? "The Town" was great.
"X-Files" creator Chris Carter has dropped word that he has a solid idea for a third film and is waiting on Twentieth Century Fox to give him the green light. The third film would go back to the mythology of the original series and the alien invasion date which has now come and past. I for one would like to go back and explore the mythology that David Duchovny is dreamy. I'm not sure I'm using that word right.
I had no idea that "The Wicker Tree" was actually a follow up to the original "The Wicker Man" but I guess if I read my own news or did any sort of research on what I'm actually typing I would have. Good news here though is original creator Robin Hardy is moving forward with "Wrath Of the Gods", the third and final film in the series. No real details about the movie are available yet but he hopes to start filing in 2014 and plans to have this one focus on the gods that the islanders worship, rather than the offerings being sacrificed for them. I can't even lie, half the time I just read the title of the article and assume I know what's going on in the news.
I could have sworn this was already news but "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" will finally see it's way to VOD on September 6th and selected theaters on October 11th. Seriously this already happened right? I'm positive I've already made every stupid comment I'm thinking of so just go back and read those. I bet they were hilarious.
In Real People News:
A convenience store clerk in Connecticut has been critically injured after trying to stop two men from stealing a David Hasselhoff display in his store. Seems worth it doesn't it.
Bath salts are apparently a thing and this guy in Indiana went on a 90 minute rampage after he got all hopped up on 'em. Looks like battery, robbery, second-degree kidnapping, battery with the intent to commit a serious felony, cruelty to animals, malicious injury to property, and all kinds of other awesome fun is now on his list of offenses. Way to go buddy. Bring it back in a big way.
Details and a short except from Joe Hill's upcoming book titled "NOS4A2". The book tells the tale of teenager who thinks he's discovered the hangout of a man with a car that runs on human souls. Hill's other book "Horns" is currently being adapted for the big screen with Daniel Radcliffe playing the lead. The title took me 5 minutes to figure out.
The good folks over at Benderspink have picked up the script for "Monster X", a new flick which is apparently a Avengers style tale but with 10 of our favorite monsters. Ahmet Zappa (yeah the one you're thinking of) co-wrote the story which is not on the hunt to be turned into a full on screenplay. The very least it can't be any worse than "Monster Brawl" was.
It's been seven years since the film started to pop up at festivals and now "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" is finally making its wait into selected theaters and onto VOD later this year thanks to Radius-TWC. Yes by now everyone who really wanted to see it has found their own way of obtaining the flick but let's not let that damper this joyous occasion.
Folks will finally get to see what kind of "Maniac" Elijah Wood makes when the remake is thrust into selected theaters and VOD on June 21st. It's already seen the light of day in other countries and because of that I have deemed the film Un-American and a national threat. You have been warned.
In Real People News:
A 28 year old Arkansas woman is being charged with DWI after she tried to drive off in a toy truck. And fellas... she's single.
An Oklahoma woman was arrested recently and was found to have a loaded revolver in her lady bits and meth up her backside. I'm pretty sure I had a t-shirt for "Big Dicks Casino" with a tag line referring to the same sort of thing when I was a teenager.
A new red band trailer for "Let Me In", the US remake of the Swedes "Let the Right One In" has found it's way online. At this point I've run out of clever ways to say how much I hated the original so let's just accept that we're American and we're better than everyone else. Let freedom ring.
After very much not being released back in March the Nic Cage film "Season of the Witch" is now seeing some re-shoots. Since they're going back and redoing some scenes why not toss in John Travolta and have him switch faces with Nic. Then have the two of them race around the country looking for secret treasures hidden in national landmarks. You're welcome Lionsgate, you can keep that one.
New "Whiteout" still, from the thriller starring Kate Beckinsale. Basically she's an FBI agent hunting a serial killer in Antarctica, right before the sun is about to set for 6 months. So yes, probably the least original story in the world at this point. And with the cold weather, I'm guessing we won't be seeing any leather body suits, either.
Todd Lincoln to adapt the comic "The Nye Incidents" for Dark Castle. Lincoln is currently working on Universal's adaptation of "Hack/Slash". So what's "The Nye Incidents" about? A children's television scientist who goes apeshit and kills all the world's children? I kid, I kid. It's actually about a "medical examiner on the hunt of a killer of alien abductees". Sounds pretty great, actually, although I still want to see my interpretation make it to the big screen.
You know how we're always saying that once our generation gets to the age where they're running for political office, we're all going to be screwed by incriminating evidence on the internet? Well, it's officially started. Better kiss that career in politics goodbye. (source complete with "ya, that's right" picture, priceless!)
1847: Lewis Keseberg, the final member of the Donner Party still stranded in the mountains, is escorted to safety by a fourth rescue party. Later accounts hold that Keseberg was discovered "seated, like a ghoul, in the midst of dead bodies, with his face and hands smeared with blood, and a kettle of human flesh boiling over the fire."