Word around campus is that Neil Marshall will direct the film adaptation of the graphic novel "Kong: King Of Skull Island". The story is set after the original tale of King Kong and follows the events after Kong's body had disappeared. I have nothing sarcastic to say about this because it sounds awesome. I will though point out how ridiculous it sounded when Tim Curry said "gorilla" in 1995's "Congo".
I have absolutely no idea how the movie business works. I say this because Dimension films has just picked up the rights to "Horns", the big screen adaption of the Joe Hill novel starring Daniel Radcliffe. This confuses me because the film has been in the works for a while now and I assume has wrapped on filming so why the hell is it it just getting picked up? I mean I get it when it's some B-movie softcore porn flick but this is Harry Potter. Someone explain this to me? I don't understand things.
Screen Gems has bought the rights to "The Unsacred", a new supernatural thriller from writer Amanda Gusack. You might know her from the 2005 horror film "In Memorium" but most likely you recognize the name from my one man all drag stage show based on the life of John Cusack. Think about it for a second, it makes total sense.
Jason Blum, the guy who's produced every horror movie you've scene in the past 10 years, is teaming up with Kevin McCormick to bring "White Smoke" to life. As you might have guessed by the title the project will follow a number of spooky time events that put the Vatican on its heels. No word yet on when the project will see the light of day but Jeff Richard and Mark Bianculli are lined up to pen the script for the project. Priests, they're so hot right now.
I've wanted to punch a lot of people in the face over the past 35 years but I'll be the first one to admit that this California guy who punched a young convenience store worker because he didn't have enough money for his $1.41 cigar might have gone too far. Alright, he 100% did. You got me.
Details and a short except from Joe Hill's upcoming book titled "NOS4A2". The book tells the tale of teenager who thinks he's discovered the hangout of a man with a car that runs on human souls. Hill's other book "Horns" is currently being adapted for the big screen with Daniel Radcliffe playing the lead. The title took me 5 minutes to figure out.
The good folks over at Benderspink have picked up the script for "Monster X", a new flick which is apparently a Avengers style tale but with 10 of our favorite monsters. Ahmet Zappa (yeah the one you're thinking of) co-wrote the story which is not on the hunt to be turned into a full on screenplay. The very least it can't be any worse than "Monster Brawl" was.
It's been seven years since the film started to pop up at festivals and now "All the Boys Love Mandy Lane" is finally making its wait into selected theaters and onto VOD later this year thanks to Radius-TWC. Yes by now everyone who really wanted to see it has found their own way of obtaining the flick but let's not let that damper this joyous occasion.
Folks will finally get to see what kind of "Maniac" Elijah Wood makes when the remake is thrust into selected theaters and VOD on June 21st. It's already seen the light of day in other countries and because of that I have deemed the film Un-American and a national threat. You have been warned.
In Real People News:
A 28 year old Arkansas woman is being charged with DWI after she tried to drive off in a toy truck. And fellas... she's single.
An Oklahoma woman was arrested recently and was found to have a loaded revolver in her lady bits and meth up her backside. I'm pretty sure I had a t-shirt for "Big Dicks Casino" with a tag line referring to the same sort of thing when I was a teenager.
It's Friday folks and let's take a little time to plan out our weekend. The Mrs. and I will be venturing to Hershey park with our 5 month old so we can put her on the lap of some stranger who smells like peach Schnapps and Old Spice simply because he's dressed up like Santa. It's the memories that will last a lifetime, the tetanus will only be around for a few months.
What are you doing April 12th, 2013? Washing your hair?! How can you possibly have plans already? Well you might want to cancel them because that's the date you'll finally get a chance to see the "Evil Dead" remake in theaters. And in turn that's the date you'll finally get a chance to lose your shit over the "Evil Dead" remake because you think it's a pile of garbage and the original is sacred and girls didn't talk to you in High School and now that your acne has cleared up they should probably give you a chance. All of those things will happen.
Alexandre Aja, the fella who directed the "Piranha" and "The Hills Have Eyes" remakes has officially been tapped to directed the upcoming big screen adaptation of Joe Hill's "Horns". The books tells the tale of a man who awakes one morning after a night of hard drinking to find he's sprouting horns out of his head. Then a bunch of other stuff happens, like he finds out who killed his girlfriend and stuff. There's some snakes too. The point is I read the book and I want people to know I'm literate.
Horror hot pocket Neil Marshal (I don't know what that means) is being eyed by the good people at CBS Films for their upcoming film titled "Hellfest". The film is about a Halloween themed park where one of the workers is actually going around killing people. This all sounds pretty awesome to me. The director, the story... the killing... well alright the killing part isn't awesome. Ya know, in real life and all. In the movie it's probably going to be cool. And I love roller coasters.
The trailer for "Battleship", a movie about the classic board game, hit a couple months back and looked like one of the most ridiculous things to ever be put on film. But reasoning be damned because Peter Berg is already talking about a sequel. And why shouldn't he. They've made three of those "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movies already and two "Garfield" movies. Alright to be 100% honest I watched the first Chipmunks movie over Thanksgiving break and it was delightful. They're so tiny and adorable.
In Real People News:
A Virginia Beach man is under arrest after he apparently offered women college scholarships in exchange for allowing him to spank them. I'm not sure how these things works but I'm pretty sure if you set up a scholarship you're allowed to make whatever rules you want but maybe I'm wrong. The fact that it was called the Henry Allen Fitzsimmons Scholarship For Naughty Naughty Girls Who Need To Be Punished, or HAFSFNNGWNTB probably should have been a tip off too.
Meth Labs are illegal, no matter where you set them up, but you got to give this women in Tulsa credit for setting up shop inside a Walmart. I mean with their rock bottom prices and wide isles it really is the perfect location. Watch for falling prices!
The ghost-tastic flick "The Apparition" has had its release date pushed from 2011 to an unnamed date in 2012. No reason has been released for the push but seeing how it's directed by Todd Lincoln who's previous credits include visual effects on "From Dusk Till Dawn" and stars a bunch of teenage extras from other movies I'm guessing they want to put it up against "Avatar 2" just to F with the man.
People seem to be getting sick of 3D movies and paranormal flicks but how could you fail with a paranormal 3D joint? The answer is you can't. "Paranormal Xperience 3D" revolves around a group of teens (awesome!) trapped in a town being terrorized by an evil doctor. If the twist at the end of this is that the doctor is a ghost then putting the word "paranormal" in the title might of been a bad idea.
Little known fact, they have TV's in New Zealand. I know I was shocked too! Not only that they apparently have their own shows. Like "The Tribe" which is about group of people who have lived through a virus that's killed off most of Earth's population and how they deal with robots and giant locusts. Sounds pretty good already but it's being adapted for the big screen here in the US so we're going to make it even better. You're welcome Kiwi's!
My wife and I have agreed that no matter what sex our seventh child is we will name him or her Shia LaBeouf. That's just how big of fans we are. So we're both pumped to find out that he will star in a new big screen adaptation of Joe Hill's, son of Stephan King, novel "Horns". The basic plot is LaBeouf wakes up after a night of boozing to find he's sprouted horns. I don't get the title.
In Real People News:
Some people who come into a large sum of money go nuts and just spend it all. But this guy in Ohio wasn't going to let his big bank robbery score go to his head. No he hopped on the bus and headed home, not even springing for a cab. Of course he was immediately caught but still, his heart was in the right place.
Residents of Bennington Vermont are living in fear after a number of residents have been attacked but one lone gray squirrel. One shoveler was attacked tree times but the little bushy tailed rat and a number of other reports have been filed. What do you have to say about this crap, PETA? That's what I though.