zorror reborn

Horror Headlines: Friday, February 17th, 2012

This weekend my wife and I start some weird cleanse and I'm not allowed to have caffeine or alcohol for 4 weeks. I have only myself to blame for this because it was my idea. I just want you to know this in case next week's news is awful. Well more awful then it usually is. You've been warned.

Sad news today, "Scary Movie 5" has had its release date pushed from April 20th of this year all the way to January 11th of 2013. The sad news though is that Gary Carter died yesterday afternoon. The "Scary Movie 5" thing is great news because who the hell wants to see that, seriously.

Exorcism flicks... am I right? But hold up before you go groaning because "The Seventh Son" is set in the 1700's and stars Jeff Bridges as a teacher of the Exorcism arts. We all love him in a "lock him up in our basement and make him quote "The Big Lebowski" and "Tron" all day" sort of way. The film was announced a while back but the exiting news today is that it's officially set to start filming in a couple weeks. Does anyone know his home address?

I had no idea there was a new Zorro movie in the works but it looks like spicy hot actor Gael Garcia Bernal has been cast in the lead role of "Zorro Reborn". The film promises to be a grittier version of the original TV series and numerous films on the masked one. It'll apparently also be set in the future. And not in Mexico. And he won't be called Zorro I assume.

I've been talking about ABC's "666 Park Avenue" for a while now. To anyone who will listen really. People next to me at the urinal for instance. I'm not allowed in a number of bars anymore. But they need to know that Terry O’Quinn, of "Lost" fame has just been cast as one half of a couple that moves to NYC to run an apartment building that just so happens to house a number of residents who have made deals with the devil. I have to go tell them now.

In Real People News: 

Here's a heartwarming story about an Ohio woman who was taken into custody after threatening to cut her boyfriend up after he didn't give her a Valentine's Day gift for her. She sounds so sweet, too. I don't know what this guy's deal is. Doesn't he like being happy?

I have never been to a Wendy's that didn't have an angry prick working behind the counter. So I love this guy in Ohio who took a sledgehammer to his local burger shop simply because "Wendy’s is making him mad". I wish I could high five him.

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