tom savini

Horror Headlines: Thursday, April 19th, 2011

Jamie King kind of looks like a grown up Emma Stone yet for some strange reason I don't dislike her. I don't care how long ago that "Superbad" movie came out I will hate everyone who was in it till the day I die. I'm telling you all this because King has been confirmed to be joining the cast of the upcoming "Silent Night" remake. I have no problem with that either. So just to keep track I dislike everyone from "Superbad", have no problem with King or the remake, and the news is still very much incoherent.

Rupert Wyatt, the cat that brought us "Rise of the Planet Of the Apes" is teaming up with Charlize Theron for a new sci-fi flick titled "Agent 13". The plot of the film is currently under wraps but I can tell you that I dislike every person in this post. I mean I use to like Charlize Theron but then I saw her on Letterman and it turns out she's really annoying and kind of a prick. So now I don't. I've said too much now.

Well suck me dry and call me dusty because it looks like "Silent Hill: Revelation 3D" is getting a wide theatrical release on October 26, 2012 thanks (?) to the good people at Open Road Films. I've never seen the first "Silent Hill" movie so I have no opinion on it. Let's just say I dislike it though for consistency.

Because there isn't enough sex appeal in today's news here's the trailer for "Robin Hood - Ghosts of Sherwood 3D" which stars Kane Hodder and Tom Savini. Try to guess which one plays Robin Hood. Just try. Here's a hint, he should have done the role in a speedo. Tick tock mutha trucka.

In Real People News: 

Wait it's illegal to spray paint a dog's face now? Man what fun CAN you have these days?

Yup, it's a story about a man who attacked his wife with a box of Cheez-It crackers and yup it happened in Florida. I know I've used this joke before. It's still funny.

The Burning (REVIEW)

Experiment time horror fans! Find someone who doesn’t like horror films. Be it your squeamish girlfriend, art-house dwelling hipster co-worker or your mother who doesn’t understand why you’re always watching “that garbage”, and ask them to describe “Friday the 13th”. Chances are they’ll talk about how gory the film is, mention all the horny teenagers and nudity, and talk about Jason and his hockey mask and machete. Maybe they’ll also mention Kevin Bacon because, come on, it’s Kevin Bacon. Problem is, that’s not really “Friday the 13th”.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I just waited through a 7 minute advertisement for some video game that gave me seizures to watch the new trailer for "Jurassic Shark". I regret nothing. The movie stars Emanuelle Carriere, who much to my surprise did not get her start in those late night Skinemax movies I watch, and is about a giant prehistoric shark that returns to bring death and destruction to a bunch of girls wearing next to nothing. I know, I'm excited too.

I know what you're thinking, why the hell isn't there a "Poltergeist" remake out there? I know you so well. Well good news kids because Roy Lee, the producer who brought you "The Strangers" and "Quarantine" says a reboot is very much a goal of his and hopes to have it out in the world sometime next year. I'm trying to track down his home address so you can go thank him personally. I'll let you know what I find, there's a lot of Lee's out there.

I refuse to explain to you the plot of "Silent Night Of the Living Dead" but I will tell you that both AJ Bowen and Tom Savini have joined the cast. I know it's tough love but come on, it's a play on the classic zombie flick and a Christmas song. What the hell don't you get? God do I have to wipe your ass too?

I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty excited about "Men In black 3". I don't know what it is but as my age gets up there I'm finding Will Smith more and more enjoyable. I'm just as surprised as you are! Anyway here's a look at the first poster for the film that is scheduled to hit theaters in May of 2012. Have you watched "Wild Wild West" lately? Seriously it's not that bad.

In Real People News: 

As a new father I can fully understand the value of a good deal. So it's not surprise to me when I hear stories about people going nuts on black Friday. Alright maybe some of the stories are a surprise, like this one about a bunch of shoppers in West Virginia who stepped over a dying man in order to get to their shopping. That's a little surprising.

And if you needed a little more proof that the world is coming to an end here's a story about a man who was dressed up as Frosty the Snow Man during a Christmas parade who was arrested for harassing police to "catch him if they can". The sky is falling.

Retro Trailer: "Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film" (2006)

Lately I have been on a documentary kick. I've watched some really amazing ones ("Dear Zachary") and plodded through some pretty awful ones ("Snuff"). Along my quest to find some more horror themed documentaries, I came across "Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher Film." A pretty fun and entertaining ride, I'd consider this a must see for fans of the slasher sub genre. The documentary gives us a look at the history of the slasher film and takes a look at both early and later successes in the horror sub genre (think "Halloween" and "Scream").

Martin (REVIEW)

George Romero’s earliest pictures strike that wonderful balance of achieving both crowd-pleasing cult sensations as well as academic and journalistic esteem. While Romero may be inseparable from popular zombie-dom* it is his 1976 “vampire” film “Martin” that represents one of his most surprisingly sincere, character driven films, making use of horror conventions as a frame for a truly unique take on the relationship between the monstrous, horrific, and social world.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday May 31st, 2011

The Guillermo del Toro produced and co-written film "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" has been kicking around for so long I honestly thought I saw and loved it 2 years ago. Of course I spent 3 years in the jungle surviving mostly on peyote and strange mushrooms so I'm not sure which memories are real anymore. But a full trailer has hit the net and honestly it looks even better then I remember it. I think.

Tom Savini has decided to dust off his makeup tools and come out of retirement to work on a couple of Australian independent horror films. "Redd Inc" is a revenge film that focuses on an online stripper who gets kidnapped and "Mary Doe" is about a woman who gets lost in the desert and finds herself smack dab in the middle of a zombie outbreak. Of course now that he's doing FX again we can only hope Savini decides to dust off the golden speedo one more time. The world needs it now more than ever.

If you're excited for this Sunday's premier of "True Blood" Season 4 than I'm sad to report you are officially off my Christmas card list. But while you sob about that loss you can check out the first 3 minutes of the new episode. I didn't watch it but I assume it's full of ridiculous accents and dry humping. The formula apparently works well.

Word around campus is an TV mini-series adaptation of Stephen King's "Bag of Bones" could begin filming as early as July. The book follows a man who returns to his summer home after the loss of his wife to try to break his writer's block. Unfortunately his wife's ghost isn't done with him yet and things don't go according to plan. Women, they'll even nag ya from the grave! Am I right, fellas? Is this thing on?

In Real People News: 

Jackpot Sanitation is a company in Las Vegas that specializes in port-o-potties, among other things. That makes that fact that one of their former managers is now possibly facing charges for urinating in another employee's drinks on a number of occasions. I can't imagine the "I couldn't find anyplace else to go" defense is going to fly.

A woman in Washington was recently hiking with her friends and decided to shoot some video of the exciting action. When she got home and reviewed the clips she realized she may have actually gotten video of Bigfoot himself. After viewing the video though I can confirm this whole thing is ridiculous. I've seen Bigfoot on a number of occasions and it's a giant truck not some hunched over freak. Stupid hippies.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 23rd, 2011

A boat load of new clips and interviews have popped up on the tubes for the upcoming flick "The Mortician 3D" starring the one and only Method Man as a Mortician. Because when you're putting together a cast you want to get some or all of the Wu-Tang Clan. Puffy is good, but Wu-Tang is better, Wu-Tang is for the children. If you get the reference you're my new best friend.

DJ Caruso, who directed "Eagle Eye", "Disturbia" and "The Salton Sea" has officially signed up to directed "Preacher", a big screen adaptation of the one graphic novel I've read in my lifetime. This of course means it's my favorite graphic novel of all time so I'm super pumped about this. Yeah pictures!

If you're unfortunate enough to have seen "Knightriders" then you probably can't see Tom Savini without having awful flashbacks of him in a Speedo. Well get ready to have a seizure because there's a new documentary coming out focusing on the hairy F/X one titled "Smoke and Mirrors". To get the flash backs going the doc has a new trailer up on the nets, welcome to hell my friends.

Here's a new clip from "Battle: Los Angeles" which reiterated a point I've been making for years. Never trust dogs, ever. Or any animal really. I've got a pet turtle and I would shoot that thing in the face the second I think it's turning on me. You hear me Boxy?! You're nothing!

In Real People News: 

An 11 year old in Colorado recently had the cops come to his house and slap him with a third degree misdemeanor after merely doodling some stick figures in school. Of course one stick figure, labeled "me", was holding a gun and shooting at a bunch of other stick figures with the words "Teacher Must Die" above it. So that's sweet.

Here's a fun one from Latvia. A 27 year old man has been arrested for shooting another man in a movie theater because he was apparently eating popcorn too loudly while watching "Black Swan". So I guess you can indirectly say Natalie Portman caused this entire thing. So you heard it here first, Natalie Portman is a murderer and must be stopped!

Sea of Dust (REVIEW)

During the Dark Ages there was a popular bit of papal propaganda regarding the mythical king of a lost Christian kingdom somewhere between India and Here-There-Be-Dragons-istan. Prester John, as he was known, was said to rule over a land that shared a fence with the Garden of Eden and contained the Fountain of Youth and a vast menagerie of Heffalumps, Star-Bellied Sneetches and other implausible animals. After a few hundred years of European explorers and treasure hunters trying and failing to find the magic kingdom, the legend died out and today Prester John remains mostly forgotten, only occasionally popping up in Marvel comics to do battle with Thor in between long stretches of waiting for Dan Brown to write a novel about him.

Episode 128 - "Knightriders"

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Discussion of George Romero's "Knightriders".

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