Horror Headlines: Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

I just waited through a 7 minute advertisement for some video game that gave me seizures to watch the new trailer for "Jurassic Shark". I regret nothing. The movie stars Emanuelle Carriere, who much to my surprise did not get her start in those late night Skinemax movies I watch, and is about a giant prehistoric shark that returns to bring death and destruction to a bunch of girls wearing next to nothing. I know, I'm excited too.

I know what you're thinking, why the hell isn't there a "Poltergeist" remake out there? I know you so well. Well good news kids because Roy Lee, the producer who brought you "The Strangers" and "Quarantine" says a reboot is very much a goal of his and hopes to have it out in the world sometime next year. I'm trying to track down his home address so you can go thank him personally. I'll let you know what I find, there's a lot of Lee's out there.

I refuse to explain to you the plot of "Silent Night Of the Living Dead" but I will tell you that both AJ Bowen and Tom Savini have joined the cast. I know it's tough love but come on, it's a play on the classic zombie flick and a Christmas song. What the hell don't you get? God do I have to wipe your ass too?

I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty excited about "Men In black 3". I don't know what it is but as my age gets up there I'm finding Will Smith more and more enjoyable. I'm just as surprised as you are! Anyway here's a look at the first poster for the film that is scheduled to hit theaters in May of 2012. Have you watched "Wild Wild West" lately? Seriously it's not that bad.

In Real People News: 

As a new father I can fully understand the value of a good deal. So it's not surprise to me when I hear stories about people going nuts on black Friday. Alright maybe some of the stories are a surprise, like this one about a bunch of shoppers in West Virginia who stepped over a dying man in order to get to their shopping. That's a little surprising.

And if you needed a little more proof that the world is coming to an end here's a story about a man who was dressed up as Frosty the Snow Man during a Christmas parade who was arrested for harassing police to "catch him if they can". The sky is falling.

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