method man

The Mortician (REVIEW)

I don’t think anyone would call Method Man a versatile actor. If you look down his list of movie credits you’ve pretty much either got serious cool urban guy or funny cool urban guy. Not that that’s a bad thing. I’ve enjoyed most of his work and I’m fairly certain I’m one of ten people who saw “How High” in theaters opening weekend. The guys a good actor and he’s always fun to watch. But put him in a role where he’s monotone, stays cooped up in his house and pretty much tries to avoid human contact, will it work? The answer after watching “The Mortician”, and by no fault of Mr.

DVD Covers: M-E-T-H-O-D Man stars in a terrible movie

Method Man has a pocket watch. Your argument is invalid. Bonus points go to the PR company for using the phrase "Urban Thriller". I appreciate when a company goes out of its way to let me know I shouldn't watch a movie. Helps with time management. (click to enlarge)

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 23rd, 2011

A boat load of new clips and interviews have popped up on the tubes for the upcoming flick "The Mortician 3D" starring the one and only Method Man as a Mortician. Because when you're putting together a cast you want to get some or all of the Wu-Tang Clan. Puffy is good, but Wu-Tang is better, Wu-Tang is for the children. If you get the reference you're my new best friend.

DJ Caruso, who directed "Eagle Eye", "Disturbia" and "The Salton Sea" has officially signed up to directed "Preacher", a big screen adaptation of the one graphic novel I've read in my lifetime. This of course means it's my favorite graphic novel of all time so I'm super pumped about this. Yeah pictures!

If you're unfortunate enough to have seen "Knightriders" then you probably can't see Tom Savini without having awful flashbacks of him in a Speedo. Well get ready to have a seizure because there's a new documentary coming out focusing on the hairy F/X one titled "Smoke and Mirrors". To get the flash backs going the doc has a new trailer up on the nets, welcome to hell my friends.

Here's a new clip from "Battle: Los Angeles" which reiterated a point I've been making for years. Never trust dogs, ever. Or any animal really. I've got a pet turtle and I would shoot that thing in the face the second I think it's turning on me. You hear me Boxy?! You're nothing!

In Real People News: 

An 11 year old in Colorado recently had the cops come to his house and slap him with a third degree misdemeanor after merely doodling some stick figures in school. Of course one stick figure, labeled "me", was holding a gun and shooting at a bunch of other stick figures with the words "Teacher Must Die" above it. So that's sweet.

Here's a fun one from Latvia. A 27 year old man has been arrested for shooting another man in a movie theater because he was apparently eating popcorn too loudly while watching "Black Swan". So I guess you can indirectly say Natalie Portman caused this entire thing. So you heard it here first, Natalie Portman is a murderer and must be stopped!

Horror Headlines: Monday September 20th, 2010

Columbia Pictures has announced that "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance 3D" will hit theaters on February 17, 2012. I haven't received any sort of official memo from my office but I assume we'll be closed for the day in honor of this glorious event. Unless of course you're not going to see it in 3D, you only get a long lunch break then.

A gaggle full of new "Troll Hunter" clips have found their way online and they're full of troll goodness. For those of you not familiar with the film just think "The Blair Witch Project" but with trolls and without all the snot. Upgrade!

Elle Fanning and Kyle Chandler are the first two cast members to be confirmed in the J.J. Abrams and Steven Spielberg collaboration flick "Super 8". The film is rumored to be about a group of kids who film their high jinks on a super 8 camera in the 70's only to discover an alien in the film years later. I wonder if the same thing will happen 30 years from now when I finally watch my wedding video.

Some new stills of the new film "The Mortician" staring the one and only Method Man have been released. Did I mentioned the film is going to be in 3D? It's really implied at this point but I thought you'd be excited to know that you're going to get to see Method Man jump out of the screen and into your lap. Sinner.

In Real People News: 

A 28 year old father and substitute teacher in Florida has been arrested for masturbating in a Wal-Mart. The worst part? He "finished" on the Star Wars toys. There's literally nothing I can say to make this story any funnier.

On this day in history: 

1973 - Singer-songwriter Jim Croce, 30, died in a plane crash in Louisiana.

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