What could top last weeks new that Raj from "What's Happening" had joined the cast of Rob Zombie's "Lords of Salem"? How about Jeffrey Daniel Phillips joining the cast? Who's that you might ask? Why just one of the most famous cavemen in history. Ya know, minus the real cavemen. Let's call him the most famous insurance selling caveman of all time. Well next to the other two. There's three of them in those commercials isn't there? Let's just call him a guy. He's a nice guy. God I hate you.
Oh boy oh boy! More set pics from "The Dark Knight Rises" and this time we've got Anne Hathaway as Catwoman. Boy she looks comfortable in that suit. If people made a big deal over Michelle Pfeiffer doing flips in her Catwoman outfit back in 1992 I can't wait to see what sort of fuss they make about Hathaway stomping around the set like the Frankenstein monster recovering from hip surgery. Is it hot in here or is it just her?
I've seen a ton of movies that Michael Fassbender has been in but for the life of me I have no idea who the guy is. That aside though if I had one choice for who could play Alex Murphy in the upcoming "Robocop" remake he would be it. Don't ask me why he just would be. And the good news for me is that director Jose Padhilla wants him for the role too. Which I kind of think is weird since I don't know who he is. It's like if Rob Zombie wanted one of the Geico cavemen for one of his movie or something.
And last but not least Charlie Sheen has accepted a role in "Scary Movie 5". I don't know what else to say about that. I'm crying on the inside though.
And what do you do if you want to relax in the nude but don't have a porch? Go to your neighbor's house of course. You'll go to jail for that just so you know. But man you'll be relaxed.
All the world has Hobo fever! It's catching on and all the teens are hanging up pictures of homeless people on their walls. So it stands to reason that there would be a "Hobo with a Shotgun" game. More importantly an 8-bit game for your playing pleasure. Because hobos get people in the mood for love making. That in no way fits with what we're talking about.
If you're excited about the "Robocop" remake than there is a 95% chance your name is Joshua Zetumer. How do I know this? Well Joshua Zetumer has been tapped to write the script for the soon to be hated film and from what I can tell this is the first thing he's written. Sounds like this is going to work out swimmingly!
If you're excited for "Insidious" then your name is probably Joshua Zetumer! No idea why, I just assume the guy likes horror movies. Anyway here's a gang load of new clips from the soon to be released film. I hope you enjoy them, Josh. I hope you don't mind me calling you Josh. I feel like we're that close now.
Did you see "Fido"? Me too! Wow we have so much in common. Did you love it? You did!? Alright maybe we don't have that much in common. Anyway the director of said film, Andrew Currie, has been hired by the good people at WWE to direct their new supernatural thriller currently titled "Barricade" which focuses on... honestly I already told you the WWE is making this and if you're really interested in the plot than you've got a lot more problems than I can fix with my sarcastic comments.
In Real People News:
If you're like me and haven't worked an honest day in your life then there isn't much you can do at a Home Depot. At least that's what I thought until I read this article about this Florida man who's been arrested for wandering the store and taking upskirt videos of women. Alright honestly I feel like he probably could've done this at a Target also and most of those have an ICEE machine so there really is no reason for Home Depot to exist.
MGM has tapped Jose Padilha to direct their reboot of the 80's cop turned into a robot classic "Robocop". I've never seen any of the movies this guy has made and this is normally where I would put some sarcastic comment about that fact but I saw his IMDB page and he has caring eyes so I'm going to approve of this.
I don't know a single stereotype about Argentina so this one's going to be short. Here's a bunch of pics and a trailer for the new hand held feature to come out of the country(?) titled "Incidente". According to the description the movie isn't filled with zombies but rather "demons who use the humans like clothes". I assume this is a play on the saying "wear your ass like a hat". Could be wrong thoguh.
A new "Scream 4" poster is out and call me a giant prick but I actually like it. Of course it's done by Olly Moss and I actually know who that is so it might just be the buzz I have from feeling somewhat smart. Want me to do your taxes?!
A trailer for the new kids lost in the sticks slasher flick titled "Madison County" has hit the tubes and it looks grimy, son. Like girls covered in dirt running around a gravel road grimy. It makes me feel like I need a shower. Oh and there's a guy with a pig's head killing people. But man that gravel has got to be hard on the tootsies.
In Real People News:
Let the Taco Bell jokes begin. Over 60 pounds of iguana meat was seized by customs officers recently that was apparently going to be used for tamales. According to the officers the amount of meat lead them to believe this wasn't going to be used for personal use but rather sold. Meaning somewhere near the border there is a large demand for iguana tamales. Someone want to fess up here?
A group of 9 sixth graders have been suspended from a Tacoma public school after they were suspected of partaking in a "fight club". The first rule of fight club is of course "you don't talk about fight club". The second rule though has been updated to read "Tuesday night is piano lessons so there's no fight club". The third rule? "Susy Gorman gives out BJ's in the guys locker room during free period", everyone knows that.
If you've been dying to find out more about John Carpenter's next flick, you're in luck! The doors are now open to the official website for "The Ward".
Paramount is wanting to jump in on the encroaching alien bandwagon coming for 2011 as Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes snatches up the rights to an untitled alien thriller from Bobby Glickert. Little is known about the project at this time other than they claim it is a cross between "Cloverfield" and "Paranormal Activity".
Darren Aronofsky's proposed "Robocop" remake appears to be the first project to be thrown out as MGM prepares for impending doom with their $3.7 billion debt.
In an odd twist, moody singer Nick Cave has been brought in to pen a remake of "The Crow". At least cave has a firm grasp on that whole 'dark and brooding' atmosphere that "The Crow" loves so much.
In Real People News:
U.S. troops are happy to share their knowledge and training with their counterparts on the Afghani Police Force, except for the issues with the Afghani Policemen getting stoned while out on patrol.
A University of Minnesota Dr. has cured a woman's intestinal bacteria and diarrhea problems by transplanting her husbands feces into her colon. The term 'fudge packing' has officially been retitled 'fecal transplantation'.
On this day in history:
1945 - A US Army B-25 bomber crashes into the Empire State Building between the 78th and 79th floors. An engine plunges down an elevator shaft, sparking a fire in the basement. Eleven people in the building are killed, in addition to the three man bomber crew.
The people behind "Orphan" are finally kicking the promotion train into gear, with a slew of new pics today. Seriously? A week away from release? The studio's lack of enthusiasm should tell you all you need to know about this one.
