mad max: fury road

Imagine Entertainment has their beady little eyes set on a new version of George Orwell’s "1984" and has already tapped Noah Oppenheim to pen the script. For those of you not familiar with the book it's kind of like that show "Big Brother" but with more torture and less HOH competitions.

Edward James Olmos, more than any other person, made me want to learn math. I'm not going to explain why. You should already know. Well now he's going to make me want to.. I don't know, move to Mexico maybe? Because he's joined the cast of Robert Rodriguez's "Machete Kills". He makes me want to learn Spanish also. I feel like that would be useful.

Looks like the good folks at Sony have decided to pick up the rights to "Predestination", a new sci-fi flick from The Spierig Brothers. The film is based on Robert A. Heinlein short story "All you Zombies" and focuses on a secret government group that sends people back in time to prevent terrorist attacks. Maybe they can go back and stop the whole Ska thing in the 90's too. Am I right?

Josh Trank made big waves with his "nobody will hug me and now I have super powers" film "Chronicle" so hopes are high now that he's been given the director role on the upcoming film adaptation of the classic video game "Shadow of the Colossus". The game tells the tale of a young chap who sets out to bring his one true love back to life by battling giant creatures who hold the power to revive her. It sounds insane but the game was awesome. Trust me. I'd never lie to you.

Word around campus is that there could be a TV series in the works based on the 1992 Brett Leonard film "The Lawnmower Man". David Titcher is already working on a script for the pilot and plans to announce the show are rumored to be in line for this year's Cannes. So see, there's no reason to go to Cannes. You can just read my news and eat a croissant.

There can only be one "Highlander" remake! Well there can be more than one I guess. There can be as many as Hollywood wants. But the one it wants right now may have in fact found a leading man in the form of hunky boom box profit Ryan Reynolds. Nothing has been confirmed and so far no official offers have been made but I'm being 100% honest here, I have no idea what that last part means. It sounds really cool though.

if there's one thing no one can deny it's that supermodels can act the hell out of any movie. So the news that Abbey Lee Kershaw, who's 24 and doesn't look a day over 40, has joined the cast of "Mad Max: Fury Road" is just wonderful for all involved. Especially if the role calls for chain smoking and drinking black coffee. Cause ya know I think that's how models stay thin. I don't know, I'm 40 pounds overweight.

Everyone's favorite giant haired writer Charlie Kaufman has been tapped to write the big screen adaptation of the young adult novel "Chaos Walking". The book tells the tale of a future world where a strange virus makes all thought audible. I assume the outcome is a lot of men getting slapped and having drinks thrown in their faces. Just my guess.

Richard Norton, and Australian actor you've probably never heard of but is frightening as hell, has signed on to play a number roles in the upcoming Mad Max film titled "Fury Road". Most notably he'll take on the Toecutter role, aka the main bad guy in the movie and this seems fitting because he looks like he eats puppies for fun.

Thomas Kretschmann, who's been in a bunch of movies I've never seen, has signed on to play the lead in the upcoming Dario Argento version of "Dracula". Of course seeing that this is an Argento flick god knows what the "lead role" means. I'd normally guess Dracula but for Argento the lead character could be a mule that has orgies with supermodels on the beach. Which, now that I see it typed out actually sounds like an awesome movie. Oh and it's going to be in 3D!

We're just a week away from the release of "Battle: Los Angeles" and to keep the excitement rolling we've got a new clip for your viewing pleasure. In the clip some of America's finest square off with some "aliens" in the sewers. I put the aliens in quotes because honestly I'm not sure if they're little green men or those Cirque du Soleil weirdos. Either way I agree they must be destroyed.

In other movies that are so far off it seems kind of ridiculous "Mad Max: Fury Road", the fourth installment in the Mad Max series, is officially set to begin filming next January in Australia. Of course the long delay is due to trouble with weather conditions so you can't really stomp your feet and suck your thumb on this one. But I bet you will, you big baby.

There's a new trailer for "Paranormal Activity: Tokyo Night", the international sequel to the 2007 hit. The film revolves around an exchange student who accidentally brings back a demon to her house in Tokyo. Like bed bugs that will make you murder people.

Charlize Theron is reported to be on board to play a one armed women in the upcoming reboot "Mad Max: Fury Road". This is both hot and gross at the same time. But it would be a lot grosser if it was called "Furry Road", because those animal 'effers are a bunch of sickos.