resident evil 6

Horror Headlines: Friday March 15th, 2013

George Romero's 1981 film "Knightriders", possibly the only one he's ever made that makes the original "The Crazies" look tolerable, is finding its way to Blu-Ray on April 22. For those of you not familiar with the flick (check out our podcast but only pay attention to my opinion) it's about a group of medieval re-enactors who ride on motorcycles rather than horses. I'm not kidding. Oh and Tom Savini wears a speedo. It's awful.

Colin Trevorrow has been hand selected to direct "Jurassic Park 4" after a extensive search. Producer Steven Spielberg spent 4 weeks in the Amazon surviving only on what he hunted and smoking opium before traveling to the tallest mountain in the forest to meet his spirit animal who reportedly told him Trevorrow would be the right man for the job. He then traveled to the director's home and forced him at gun point to slaughter four chickens, two rabbits and one goat to solidify the deal. It's Jurassic god damn Park people. This shouldn't be taken lightly.

"Aftershock", Nicolas Lopez's English debut starring Eli Roth, will find it's way into limited theaters on May 10. Selena Gomez also pops up in the film about a group of travelers in Chile who find themselves trying to survive after an earthquake hits. Apparently in Chile people go around killing each other with axes when a earthquake hits. It's a strange wondrous land. Never visit it.

Paul W.S. Anderson will apparently return again to direct "Resident Evil 6". Oh man they got him? Sometimes you just get lucky.

In Real People News: 

Two geniuses in Utah are under arrest after they thought they could scam a doughnut shop by eating the some tasty treats with razor blades stuffed inside. It didn't work. They're in jail now.

A Milwaukee man is under arrest after he body slammed a security guard at his local DMV. The best part? It was all caught on video. Technology is the best thing ever.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 6th, 2013

I don't want to give away my plans for Father's Day because you'll probably see it on the news but here's a small hint. It involved me battling and then befriending a bear just before we go ape shit on a local zoo for not offering brisket at their buffet BBQ. More on this at 11.

Looks like the upcoming season of Showtime's "Dexter" might in fact be its last. Nothing is official yet but CEO Leslie Moonves let on that the should would wrap after season 8, which is currently filming. I hope Dexter and his sister finally get together on the last season. Cause that's not creepy for everyone to watch.

I had forgotten that "Grave Encounters 2" was a thing but slap my ass and call me dusty because the follow up to the little haunted asylum flick that could is landing on DVD and Blu-Ray on March 12th. The plot of this one is pretty straight forward, some folks are obsessed with the footage in the original film and blah blah blah stuff happens. Don't ever slap my ass.

"Resident Evil 6" is going to come out on September 12, 2014. I don't know man, I don't know.

Remember a while ago when I said that the sci-fi Tom Cruise fronted "Oblivion" was going to hit IMax theaters prior to its official April 12th release date? Well it's not anymore, it's being pushed for that "Jurassic Park 3D" can stay in theaters a week longer. Dinosaurs > Tom Cruise.

In Real People News: 

So now you can get suspended from school for just shaping your breakfast pastry into the shape of a gun? I don't know how to feel about this.

Game Trailers: "Resident Evil 6" teases its story

I still say wake me up when they make an RE game that plays like something made in the 21st century, but this story trailer for "Resident Evil 6" is pretty damn cool. If any of you guys end up playing it and it's good, let me know... unless there are any sequences in which you collect pieces of a pendant in order to unlock a door. If that happens at any point, forget it, leave me out of this...

Horror Gaming: "Resident Evil 6" Brings Series Back to it's Undead Roots

Believe it or not, there hasn't been a numbered "Resident Evil" game released in almost a decade that also feature zombies. At that, the last game that did was the pretty forgettable "Resident Evil 0", so you really have to go back to 1999's "Resident Evil 3: Nemesis" for the last time "Resident Evil" was simultaneously worth playing and featured zombies. Since then, players looking to get their fix of zombie killing have had to turn to ill-advised spinoff games like the Wii lightgun "The Umbrella Chronicles" or clunky, MMO-lite games such as the "Outbreak" series.

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