Grave Encounters 2

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 6th, 2013

I don't want to give away my plans for Father's Day because you'll probably see it on the news but here's a small hint. It involved me battling and then befriending a bear just before we go ape shit on a local zoo for not offering brisket at their buffet BBQ. More on this at 11.

Looks like the upcoming season of Showtime's "Dexter" might in fact be its last. Nothing is official yet but CEO Leslie Moonves let on that the should would wrap after season 8, which is currently filming. I hope Dexter and his sister finally get together on the last season. Cause that's not creepy for everyone to watch.

I had forgotten that "Grave Encounters 2" was a thing but slap my ass and call me dusty because the follow up to the little haunted asylum flick that could is landing on DVD and Blu-Ray on March 12th. The plot of this one is pretty straight forward, some folks are obsessed with the footage in the original film and blah blah blah stuff happens. Don't ever slap my ass.

"Resident Evil 6" is going to come out on September 12, 2014. I don't know man, I don't know.

Remember a while ago when I said that the sci-fi Tom Cruise fronted "Oblivion" was going to hit IMax theaters prior to its official April 12th release date? Well it's not anymore, it's being pushed for that "Jurassic Park 3D" can stay in theaters a week longer. Dinosaurs > Tom Cruise.

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So now you can get suspended from school for just shaping your breakfast pastry into the shape of a gun? I don't know how to feel about this.

Horror Headlines: Friday, April 27th, 2011

I could have sworn this happened about a week after "Rise Of the Planet Of the Apes" was released but the folks over at Fox have officially announced a sequel. They also went on to announce that this Summer's Olympics will be held in London and that I will be spending the 4th of July passed out drunk next to a kiddie pool while my daughter cries.

Walking dead writer Scott Gimple has been thrust into the script writing roll for a new Sci-Fi flick titled "Prosthesis" by the folks over at Universal. There's not much in the way of details yet on this one so let me take this time to comment on how pissed I am that Universal Orlando closed the "Jaws" attraction. Sure it was kind of outdated but still... freakin Jaws.

2011's little horror movie that could "Grave Encounters" has gotten quite the following in the hor-nerd cirlces so everyone get out your tallywacker because "Grave Encounters 2" is on its way. The plot of this one will focus on a group of students who break into the hospital from the first film only to find that the footage they saw was all too real. It's a movie inside a movie. Like a turducken but with less meat.

Chloe Sevigny, the fun gal from "Big Love" and all those creepy movies that came from the guy who did "Kids" has been confirmed for the cast of "American Horror Story" season 2. She'll be playing Shelly the Nymphomaniac. I'll be playing the guy who's desperately trying not to remember that scene from "The Brown Bunny" where she goes down on Vincent Gallo. It's so graphic.

In Real People News: 

This guy in Tennessee has got it all figured out and we could learn a thing or twofrom him. The lesson he's taught us is if you're stumbling around the interstate and a cop pulls up you 100% have to ask the officer if he's Jesus before stealing his car. You don't want to steal a cop car and then find out later it was actually Jesus. That's bad karma.

Apparently 28 years into your life you can go back and sue the hospital you were born at for circumcising you. Good to know.

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