Prosthesis

Horror Headlines: Friday, April 27th, 2011

I could have sworn this happened about a week after "Rise Of the Planet Of the Apes" was released but the folks over at Fox have officially announced a sequel. They also went on to announce that this Summer's Olympics will be held in London and that I will be spending the 4th of July passed out drunk next to a kiddie pool while my daughter cries.

Walking dead writer Scott Gimple has been thrust into the script writing roll for a new Sci-Fi flick titled "Prosthesis" by the folks over at Universal. There's not much in the way of details yet on this one so let me take this time to comment on how pissed I am that Universal Orlando closed the "Jaws" attraction. Sure it was kind of outdated but still... freakin Jaws.

2011's little horror movie that could "Grave Encounters" has gotten quite the following in the hor-nerd cirlces so everyone get out your tallywacker because "Grave Encounters 2" is on its way. The plot of this one will focus on a group of students who break into the hospital from the first film only to find that the footage they saw was all too real. It's a movie inside a movie. Like a turducken but with less meat.

Chloe Sevigny, the fun gal from "Big Love" and all those creepy movies that came from the guy who did "Kids" has been confirmed for the cast of "American Horror Story" season 2. She'll be playing Shelly the Nymphomaniac. I'll be playing the guy who's desperately trying not to remember that scene from "The Brown Bunny" where she goes down on Vincent Gallo. It's so graphic.

In Real People News: 

This guy in Tennessee has got it all figured out and we could learn a thing or twofrom him. The lesson he's taught us is if you're stumbling around the interstate and a cop pulls up you 100% have to ask the officer if he's Jesus before stealing his car. You don't want to steal a cop car and then find out later it was actually Jesus. That's bad karma.

Apparently 28 years into your life you can go back and sue the hospital you were born at for circumcising you. Good to know.

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