hatchet 2

Horror Headlines: Monday December 27th, 2010

If you plan on giving up watching Syfy movies for the New Year you might want to check out the new clips from "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid" first. I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is going to be the greatest movie they've ever made. That's a tall order I know but it does have Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.

Danielle Harris is back my friends with "Shiver" and I am just tickled pink. The movie is about a secretary who's being stalked by a serial killer who has to fight for her life. I hope it has singing, that Harris has got a heart of gold that I know it's just waiting to get out. I don't even think I'm being sarcastic.

It's what the kids call a "slow day" around here at the BGH newsroom so here's a trailer for "Devil in Baby Joan" which is pretty much a "The Last Exorcism" knock off but it doesn't look awful. At the very least it's got some really nice looking title animations. So that's something, huh?

And because one of you did something very very wrong this year and we all need to be punished here's the On Demand trailer for "Hatchet 2". It's a trailer for the movie to let us all know that it's going to be On Demand. I probably didn't need to explain that though.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to try to rob a place with an iPhone maybe think about someplace other than a restaurant. Or really any place where people might have knives or any other sort of weapon which could be used in defense of an iPhone. Just a thought.

This is kind of heartwarming isn't it. A man in Massachusetts who ordered 178 pizzas as a prank eventually changed his mind and paid in full for the little stunt. I have no idea what he did with all of them but I sure do like pizza, even if it's a few days old. Hint hint.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 30th, 2010

Congratulations makers of "Black Swan". You found a way to make a minute long video of Natalie Portman dancing around the most unattractive thing I've ever seen. Here's what I assume the direction for this was like. "YES! That was good, now do it one more time with more German in your eyes. Ya! Das ist gut mein fraulein!"

Just when you think there's no good left in the world you find out that "The Walking Dead" scored 5.6 million viewers this past Sunday. This is actually more than the pilot episode and all signs point to this Sunday's season finale doing even better. If "Glee" ends up getting canceled my entire outlook on life is going to change.

For those of you who didn't get a chance to see "Hatchet II" before America flexed its biceps and yanked it from theaters, you're in luck. The slasher flick will get an On Demand release on December 1st and more importantly be available on countless torrent sites by the end of the week. I can't be the only one who wants to see the makers of this movie end up homeless. Somebody else chime in here!

Kevin Smith plans on screening his new creepy flick "Red State" at Sundance in 2011 and apparently wants to immediately auction off distribution rights after the screening. People of Hollywood I am speaking to you directly now. I've never asked you for anything but for this I will beg. Please, when that no talent overrated pile of turds starts the bidding please please please don't bid. I want to see what it looks like when a human actually cries cake frosting and this may be my only chance.

In Real People News: 

I've said this a thousand times and now I have proof. Pennsylvania has the worst drivers in the world and this girl who actually managed to get her truck up in a tree is living proof. Sometimes it's boring being right all the time... but not this time.

This might be the quickest I've ever gone from excited to disappointed in my life. Here's how my thought process went as I skimmed this article. Holy crap they are going to announce that aliens are real? At a Ramada Inn? That's kind of weird. Oh crap, it's a 65 year old man who prayed to Jesus to send him a snowball with proof. Crap.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday October 5th, 2010

Did anyone other than Mark see "The Collector"? Follow up question, did anyone see it and like it? Didn't think so. Well news today that there's going to be a "Collector 3D" and it's going to be in.. well, 3D. You probably guessed that from the title though.

"She Wolf Rising" is not going to be a good movie but here's some pictures of Tiffany Shepis who stars in it rolling around. There's really not much news here but I think you'll appreciate it nonetheless. So uh, how's your week going? Some weather we're having huh?

So that whole unrated thing kind of backfired didn't it? Not to be outdone by Canada, "Hatchet II" has now been pulled from US theaters. But man those 2 days that it was showing sure were special weren't they? Did anyone get to see it? Tell me what it's like to love.

Take a look at this new picture from "Scream 4" and try to tell me you don't feel a little bad for Ghostface. It's him and a bunch of his other Ghostface friends riding a bus to school. But look, they're all sitting alone, none of them are friends. My heart is breaking.

In Real People News: 

Mark it on your calendars folks, today PETA did something I may actually agree with. A California restaurant has pulled the "Dancing Shrimp" off of their menu after complaints from the animal rights group. What's the dancing shrimp your might ask? Well it's a live prawn that has it's shell ripped off and then you get to squeeze lemon on it and watch it "dance" AKA jump in ungodly pain until it dies. Adorable.

On this day in history: 

1968 – Police take batons to civil rights demonstrators in Derry, Northern Ireland – considered to mark the beginning of The Troubles.

Horror Headlines: Monday September 27th, 2010

There's been almost no coverage of the upcoming Renée Zellweger flick "Case 39" but today we've got some new images and a new clip. All I know about this movie is there's a creepy as girl who sees ghosts and Zellwegger has man hands. I've got high hopes!

Here's some new clips of "Paranormal Activity 2" and it looks like the demons have finally learned how to mess with the video cameras. Maybe they're really elderly demons and don't understand technology. The people who live in the house should ask them to program the DVR and then escape while they try to figure it out.

I love things that are not safe for work, there I said it. Like the new clip from "Hatchet 2" which pretty much has everything a not safe for work clip should have. You're welcome.

There's been more images released for the upcoming show "The Walking Dead" than I know what to do with but today there's a new trailer. A trailer AND a crap load of new images. It just wouldn't feel right without them.

In Real People News: 

It's nice to see that all the weird crap doesn't happen in the house. A coach in Queens NY recently dropped trou and mooned the opposing team's sideline. In his defense it was a division championship game, those things are important.

On this day in history: 

1959 – Nearly 5000 people die on the main Japanese island of Honshū as the result of a typhoon.

Trailer: Red Band "Hatchet II" Trailer

Oh boy here we go. The "Hatchet II" trailer that all other “Hatchet II” trailers will be defined by. Lots of blood, lots of gore and most of all lots of talking. Yeah you heard me folks, talking. The film is coming to theaters in its full unrated glory so what better way to promote such an event than by releasing a trailer that's 75% talking. Well alright they also put the words that are being said on the screen, ya know for the hearing impaired, but who cares about reading.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday September 14th, 2010

The first clip from "Hatchet II" has made its way online and is ready for your viewing. The film will be released in full unrated glory on October 1st and from the clip looks to be just as good as the original. Take that any way you like.

Confirmation has come down from the heavens that there will in fact not be a TV movie made to wrap up the "Heroes" series. I had no idea the show was even canceled. What happened on the last episode? Did the cheerleader get knocked up?

"Big movie news announcement coming soon. Finally." That's the word from Rob Zombie's twitter account. Is that news? I'm not even sure at this point but I'm giddy with excitement.

The film is called "Chain Letter" and there's a new clip up on the tubes for you today. Remember how spooky it was to get a chain letter twenty years ago? About damn time they made a movie about that. Alright truth be told I didn't read the movie's synopsis but I'm taking a shot in the dark based on the title.

In Real People News: 

Wasn't this the plot of an episode of "Seinfeld"? A library in Minnesota recently had a book returned that was 35 years overdue Unfortunately the book wasn't "Tropic of Cancer".

On this day in history: 

1901 - President William B. McKinley died in Buffalo, N.Y., of gunshot wounds inflicted by an assassin eight days earlier. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt, 42, was sworn in, becoming the youngest president in U.S. history.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday January 13th, 2009

A few more minor details have been released regarding the momentum building behind "The Thing" prequel. Ever wonder what that little alien bugger looked like before it met R.J. MacReady? Sounds like we might find out.

Not to be content with a TV Series that was already working well in its current form in the UK, The Syfy Channel have announced plans to re-do the popular "Being Human" series.

Dark Sky Films have snatched up the rights to Adam Green's "Hatchet 2". Whether or not you loved or hated the first film, Dark Sky sees a franchise in their future.

In news you never thought you'd hear, a sequel to Dee Snider's "Strangeland" is officially being made. Even weirder, "Strangeland II: The Disciple" will be co-starring Robert Englund!

In Real People News: 

Australian Stephen Gough is facing life behind bars. No, not for bloody murder; for refusing to wear clothes in public.

A Charlotte man plummets 20 stories to his death. This was more shocking until it was revealed that the man was attempting to jump from one 29th story balcony to another.

On this day in history: 

1943 - Hitler declares "Total War"

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Guillermo Del Toro discusses his inspiration for his "Strain" trilogy of vampire novels, the first of which is due to hit bookshelves on Junes 2nd.

Robert Downey JR wants to play Edgar Allen Poe in a script written by Sylvester Stallone. I know, I thought he was off drugs too, this is so sad. (JOKE, people)

So, we decided the other day that this new Filmax flick "Paintball" has a cool trailer, but was really playing the paintball schtick up way too much for me to take it seriously. As you can see though, they've really kept it classy with the poster. UGH.

Adam Green is hoping he'll get to shoot "Hatchet 2" next winter. Nothing is set in stone yet, but the idea and the interest is there, now it's just all about the pieces coming together. I for one would definitely watch if Green were to turn out another hilarious slasher in this series.

Speaking of interesting, if not totally amazing slasher films, it turns out that there's a Tobe Hooper-less sequel to his "Toolbox Murders" remake currently in the works. This one promises to "rise far above the last Toolbox". Guess we'll see.

Joe Dante won't ever write or direct a "Gremlins 3", although he does see it happening at some point in the future (just without him, apparently). He also says he thinks the guys who made that infamous "fan film" should be responsible for another sequel, and that he's currently working on two spectacular Blurays of the original films.

In Real People News: 

Cult leader and convicted pedophile escapes prison via helicopter. I take back what I said about the prison escape scene in last year's "Prom Night", this story actually makes that realistic in comparison.

Moral of this story, you don't want to ever meet the man who can take repeated taserings and still come up shooting. If you do, he's probably going to kill the shit out of you, just because he can.

Here's a way to get back at your father for all those chores you had to do when you were a kid... how about cut out his pacemaker with a pocket knife? I kid, of course, but the story at the link proves that it's actually possible to do such a thing. Read at your own risk.

On this day in history: 

1945: With Allied forces closing in on Berlin, Adolf Hitler marries Eva Braun in their fortified bunker. They kill themselves the following day.

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