black swan

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 30th, 2010

Congratulations makers of "Black Swan". You found a way to make a minute long video of Natalie Portman dancing around the most unattractive thing I've ever seen. Here's what I assume the direction for this was like. "YES! That was good, now do it one more time with more German in your eyes. Ya! Das ist gut mein fraulein!"

Just when you think there's no good left in the world you find out that "The Walking Dead" scored 5.6 million viewers this past Sunday. This is actually more than the pilot episode and all signs point to this Sunday's season finale doing even better. If "Glee" ends up getting canceled my entire outlook on life is going to change.

For those of you who didn't get a chance to see "Hatchet II" before America flexed its biceps and yanked it from theaters, you're in luck. The slasher flick will get an On Demand release on December 1st and more importantly be available on countless torrent sites by the end of the week. I can't be the only one who wants to see the makers of this movie end up homeless. Somebody else chime in here!

Kevin Smith plans on screening his new creepy flick "Red State" at Sundance in 2011 and apparently wants to immediately auction off distribution rights after the screening. People of Hollywood I am speaking to you directly now. I've never asked you for anything but for this I will beg. Please, when that no talent overrated pile of turds starts the bidding please please please don't bid. I want to see what it looks like when a human actually cries cake frosting and this may be my only chance.

In Real People News: 

I've said this a thousand times and now I have proof. Pennsylvania has the worst drivers in the world and this girl who actually managed to get her truck up in a tree is living proof. Sometimes it's boring being right all the time... but not this time.

This might be the quickest I've ever gone from excited to disappointed in my life. Here's how my thought process went as I skimmed this article. Holy crap they are going to announce that aliens are real? At a Ramada Inn? That's kind of weird. Oh crap, it's a 65 year old man who prayed to Jesus to send him a snowball with proof. Crap.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 23rd, 2010

Warner Bros. has confirmed they will be in fact moving forward with a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" reboot and one Mr. Joss Whedon will have absolutely nothing to do with it. I have to say once I googled Joss Whedon and found out he's the guy that made the Buffy show I never watched I was enraged! Wait no, neutral, I was neutral... sorry.

Do you have "Black Swan" fever? Me too! Here's a new music video for the film that highlights the fact that it's a movie about ballet and that I'm pretty sure no one has a freakin clue what the hell this film is about. Swans, I assume something to do with swans.

"Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale" is Finnish and is about an evil Santa Clause so in turn it is frightening as hell. Nothing could be more frightening than a bunch of angry people screaming in whatever language they speak in Finland while Santa slaughters everyone. To prove this point there's some new photos for your to crap your pants over.

Finally here is the news you've all been waiting for, "Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor" is complete and there's a new poster for the film. Spoiler alert though, Joss Whedon has absolutely nothing to do with this film. This guy can't catch a break. Well best of luck Jossy, hope things turn around for you.

In Real People News: 

If you watched that episode of "Hoarders" where they removed over 1,000 rats from that house and thought, "aww I sure would like one of those", you're in luck. Apparently each and every one of those disgusting disease carrying rodents is up for adoption. Come on you animal loving freaks, step up to the plate.

Dreading Thanksgiving because you know your fat ass can't stop eating and your pants are going to split? Good news! Someone invented "Gluttony Pants" that can expand to make room for your extra lard. So go nuts you slob.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday July 28th, 2009

A new movie is in production based on the book "Kong: King of Skull Island", a prequel to "King Kong" that was released around the time of Peter Jackson's 2006 adaptation. Apparently it deals with how the giant became "king" of Skull Island (I guess that's self explanatory). Not sure how the story works with a bunch of apes and dinosaurs, but I'm sure there are some annoying humans in there somewhere.

Word coming out of Japan is that "The Host 2" has found some investors, although they're still trying to decide between multiple scripts that have been written.

Poster for the indie "All About Evil", starring Natasha Lyonne, about a young woman who inherits her family's theater chain and brings it back to life with a series of "all too real" grisly, gory short films.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to brutally attack your neighbor and cut off his head, at least have the courtesy to put it in the recycling bin when you're done. That's just common sense, folks.

This story is amazing. Apparently Charles Manson is stalking Phil Spectre in prison, trying to get him to produce his music. I'm literally speechless.

On this day in history: 

1870: Andrew Carr is hanged at Richmond Prison, Dublin. He is dropped from too high, causing his head to separate from the rest of his body -- the greater portion of which twitches for several minutes.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 16th, 2009

The writer of "Sorority Row" and "Piranha 3D" updates his blog with news/thoughts on both films, both of which he feels are going to turn out really well. "Sorority Row" is apparently completely finished at this point, and according to him lives up to his original script, which as he says was "Scary. Funny. Tense. Stylish. Bloody. Sexy". I did actually get most of that from the trailer, so consider me excited.

Here are the specs for the new "Night of the Creeps" DVD, and damn, I have to say they're going all out with the special features. Once this one's off our list, what's the next big horror title that needs to be released on DVD? My other major one was "Phantasm II", but that one was also announced recently.

Just as I was ranting on the podcast last night about how much I dislike Rob Zombie's "Halloween", up popped the news on Twitter that the full official site for the sequel is now live. It was interesting timing, to say the least.

In Real People News: 

When I hear these stories about Boy Scout Camp, it makes me thankful I dropped out after a year. Thank God I was a slacker as a kid.

Two cases of dead tadpoles raining from the sky have been reported in China recently. The funny thing is, that's probably the most normal thing that happened there today.

Man spontaneously revives a half an hour after being pronounced dead, then dies again two days later. Oooohhh, so close.

On this day in history: 

1959: While entertaining friends at his home, George Reeves, who played the title character in the original Superman TV series, goes upstairs to his bedroom and commits suicide with a 9mm German Luger.

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