Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 24th, 2010

Here's a new one sheet for the new found footage flick "Apollo 18". The movie is a follow up to the 1996 Academy Award winning film "Apollo 13" staring Tom Hanks. Wait, no? That's not right. Ah whatever just watch the clip.

With Christmas just around the corner it's time to celebrate the holiday season with a horror movie that shows a crazy Santa going around murdering the crap out of people. As luck would have it we have a new red band trailer for "Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale", the Finnish flick that does just that. I feel so warm.

Wait seriously they're making a "Final Destination 5"? That's not a joke. Well at least it isn't going to be in 3D right? Oh god it's going to be in 3D! You build me up with a crazy Santa and then you just cut me right back down with this crap. Well played.

Here's some new screen shots from "The Rite" staring Anthony Hopkins as a Priest who gets involved with an exorcism. When did possession become the big rage? I missed the memo. I can't wait for next Halloween when people just walk around spitting split pea soup at each other.

In Real People News: 

I love when people find a way to sexually harass a large group of people in one fatal swoop. Like Canada's industry minister who told a crowd he wants "more Canadian sex stories". Apparently he meant to say "success" but in this economy couldn't we all use a few good sex stories to brighten up our day?

I think I finally found a reason to watch soccer. A amateur player in London was given a red card recently, no idea what that means by the way, and took out his frustration by driving his car out onto the field and trying to run down the official. Alright I'm kidding, this is still not a reason to watch soccer.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 23rd, 2010

Warner Bros. has confirmed they will be in fact moving forward with a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" reboot and one Mr. Joss Whedon will have absolutely nothing to do with it. I have to say once I googled Joss Whedon and found out he's the guy that made the Buffy show I never watched I was enraged! Wait no, neutral, I was neutral... sorry.

Do you have "Black Swan" fever? Me too! Here's a new music video for the film that highlights the fact that it's a movie about ballet and that I'm pretty sure no one has a freakin clue what the hell this film is about. Swans, I assume something to do with swans.

"Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale" is Finnish and is about an evil Santa Clause so in turn it is frightening as hell. Nothing could be more frightening than a bunch of angry people screaming in whatever language they speak in Finland while Santa slaughters everyone. To prove this point there's some new photos for your to crap your pants over.

Finally here is the news you've all been waiting for, "Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor" is complete and there's a new poster for the film. Spoiler alert though, Joss Whedon has absolutely nothing to do with this film. This guy can't catch a break. Well best of luck Jossy, hope things turn around for you.

In Real People News: 

If you watched that episode of "Hoarders" where they removed over 1,000 rats from that house and thought, "aww I sure would like one of those", you're in luck. Apparently each and every one of those disgusting disease carrying rodents is up for adoption. Come on you animal loving freaks, step up to the plate.

Dreading Thanksgiving because you know your fat ass can't stop eating and your pants are going to split? Good news! Someone invented "Gluttony Pants" that can expand to make room for your extra lard. So go nuts you slob.

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