natalie portman

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 30th, 2010

Congratulations makers of "Black Swan". You found a way to make a minute long video of Natalie Portman dancing around the most unattractive thing I've ever seen. Here's what I assume the direction for this was like. "YES! That was good, now do it one more time with more German in your eyes. Ya! Das ist gut mein fraulein!"

Just when you think there's no good left in the world you find out that "The Walking Dead" scored 5.6 million viewers this past Sunday. This is actually more than the pilot episode and all signs point to this Sunday's season finale doing even better. If "Glee" ends up getting canceled my entire outlook on life is going to change.

For those of you who didn't get a chance to see "Hatchet II" before America flexed its biceps and yanked it from theaters, you're in luck. The slasher flick will get an On Demand release on December 1st and more importantly be available on countless torrent sites by the end of the week. I can't be the only one who wants to see the makers of this movie end up homeless. Somebody else chime in here!

Kevin Smith plans on screening his new creepy flick "Red State" at Sundance in 2011 and apparently wants to immediately auction off distribution rights after the screening. People of Hollywood I am speaking to you directly now. I've never asked you for anything but for this I will beg. Please, when that no talent overrated pile of turds starts the bidding please please please don't bid. I want to see what it looks like when a human actually cries cake frosting and this may be my only chance.

In Real People News: 

I've said this a thousand times and now I have proof. Pennsylvania has the worst drivers in the world and this girl who actually managed to get her truck up in a tree is living proof. Sometimes it's boring being right all the time... but not this time.

This might be the quickest I've ever gone from excited to disappointed in my life. Here's how my thought process went as I skimmed this article. Holy crap they are going to announce that aliens are real? At a Ramada Inn? That's kind of weird. Oh crap, it's a 65 year old man who prayed to Jesus to send him a snowball with proof. Crap.

Newsblip: Natalie Portman to star in "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies"

News just dropped that Natalie Portman has signed on to play the "feisty heroine", Elizabeth Bennet, in the adaptation of Seth Gramme-Smith's "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". Smith took the original Jane Austen novel and spiced it up by adding, naturally, zombie hordes to the dry proceedings. The book is currently available for sale, and has garnered mixed reviews. Needless to say, this adaptation just got a lot more interesting (and dare I say, sexy).

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 16th, 2009

The writer of "Sorority Row" and "Piranha 3D" updates his blog with news/thoughts on both films, both of which he feels are going to turn out really well. "Sorority Row" is apparently completely finished at this point, and according to him lives up to his original script, which as he says was "Scary. Funny. Tense. Stylish. Bloody. Sexy". I did actually get most of that from the trailer, so consider me excited.

Here are the specs for the new "Night of the Creeps" DVD, and damn, I have to say they're going all out with the special features. Once this one's off our list, what's the next big horror title that needs to be released on DVD? My other major one was "Phantasm II", but that one was also announced recently.

Just as I was ranting on the podcast last night about how much I dislike Rob Zombie's "Halloween", up popped the news on Twitter that the full official site for the sequel is now live. It was interesting timing, to say the least.

In Real People News: 

When I hear these stories about Boy Scout Camp, it makes me thankful I dropped out after a year. Thank God I was a slacker as a kid.

Two cases of dead tadpoles raining from the sky have been reported in China recently. The funny thing is, that's probably the most normal thing that happened there today.

Man spontaneously revives a half an hour after being pronounced dead, then dies again two days later. Oooohhh, so close.

On this day in history: 

1959: While entertaining friends at his home, George Reeves, who played the title character in the original Superman TV series, goes upstairs to his bedroom and commits suicide with a 9mm German Luger.

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