frankenstein

Frankenstein's Army (REVIEW)

“Frankenstein’s Army” is a found footage film about a unit of Russian soldiers who are fighting Nazis during WWII and searching for other missing Russians. Instead of finding missing soldiers they are forced to fight an army of “steampunk” monsters that have been created by Dr. Frankenstein, who apparently has been attempting to end the war by combining equal halves of communists and fascists brains.

Event Review: Universal Studios Hollywood "Halloween Horror Nights"

It’s that wonderful time of year again! Horror movies playing 24/7 on cable, the masses planning their Halloween party costumes, and the theme parks turning their family friendly parks into blood and gore infested lands of horror!

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 11th, 2013

James Wan's "The Conjuring" will make it's big debut at the Los Angeles Film Festival on June 21st. The film is supposedly based on a true story of two paranormal investigators who try to help a family being terrorized by an evil spirit. The film will then see a wide release on July 19th. I will be on a podcast shortly after that talking about how the whole thing is BS.

I've been holding off on seeing the Hammer classic "Dracula: Prince of Darkness" for 35 years because there has yet to be a US Blu-Ray release for the film. I know, it's weird that I would take a firm stance for so long considering that Blu-Ray hasn't even been around for 10 years. Well good news for me because the Christopher Lee blood sucker is finally coming our way thanks to Millennium Entertainment on September 3rd. I'll be chock full of commentary, behind the scenes features and other extras. I don't pretend to understand my madness.

Daniel Radcliffe doesn't have half the forehead that Christina Ricci has but still he's going to play Igor in Paul McGuigan's "Frankenstein". I'm not really sure why you need a big forehead for that but the film has been slapped with a October 17, 2014 release date so let's see how Radcliffe does with this bold casting move. Again I don't really know why Ricci's big forehead would make her a better choice but I stand by my statement.

Adam McKay , the guy who produced "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters", has let out that director Tommy Wirkola is being let loose to make the sequel as balls out as he'd like. I guess that also means if the follow up is a pile of doody it's all Wirkola's fault but let's look on the positive side here.

In Real People News: 

Apparently it's illegal to place a sex ad on Craigslist for your neighbor if she pisses you off. Thank god I found this out before the weekend.

What do you do when you're a youngster on the way to school and you spot a man having sex with a dog? You whip out your cell phone and record the whole thing for all to enjoy. At least that's what these kids in Detroit did. They eventually showed their school's secretary who called the police and the man was arrested but I like to think it made the rounds in homeroom before that. This is Detroit after all.

Horror Headlines: Friday March 1st, 2013

I like my Daniel Radcliffe with a size of sassy wizard but it sounds like he might be landing himself the role of Igor in the upcoming Fox revision of the classic "Frankenstein" tale. Nothings confirmed yet but this version is said to focus more on the mad doctor's assistant so it might be a solid role for the little fella. I hope they get that ginger kid to play the monster. I bet that kid needs work too.

Gary Oldman, who is a wonderful actor but seems bat shit insane in real life, has officially been cast in "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes". No word on what role Oldman will play but he'll either be a giant monkey or a member of the last few survivors of the human race after the giant monkeys have taken over. This could really go either way.

Remember when "Teeth" taught us all what vagina dentata was? Yeah that was fun huh? Well the films director, Mitchell Lichtenstein, is now going to teach us about "Angelica". The film is based on a book with the same name and tells the story of a family being terrorized by an apparition from the perspective of each member. Jena Malone is set to star.

I had no idea "Sexy Evil Genius" was a thing but it stars Seth Green and he's just adorable so I'm interested in seeing it when it hits DVD and VOD on April 9th. The film tells the tale of a group of individuals brought to a bar by their ex-girlfriend who is plotting her revenge. I assume the sexy evil genius is the ex-girlfriend and not Green. He's cute and all but his face makes everyone ill. Right?

In Real People News: 

Miss Delaware Teen USA apparently did porn. Anyone who has ever been to Delaware shouldn't be surprised by this. It's the sexiest state in the Union.

A Florida couple is under arrest after they let their child drink Drano from a sippy cup that just so happened to be in the same room they were making meth in. I swear to god Florida, how the hell do you have both the happiest place on earth and the most awful people alive in the same state?

Horror Comics: "Creepy Presents Bernie Wrightson"

Creepy Presents Bernie Wrightson
Artist: Bernie Wrightson
Writers: Bernie Wrightson, various
Publisher: Dark Horse Books

Any horror fan worth a damn has seen Bernie Wrightson’s work. Wrightson is perhaps best known for co-creating Swamp Thing, but even if you’re not a comic book reader, you’ve likely come across his illustrations in Stephen King’s “Cycle of the Werewolf”, “The Wolves of Calla”, and in the restored edition of “The Stand”. Wrightson’s meticulous and loving illustrated edition of “Frankenstein” is a must-have for any follower of the genre.

This Simon Oakes interview proves that the new Hammer is swinging for the fences

In a recent interview with Digital Spy, Hammer exec Simon Oakes talks briefly of what is in store for the new Hammer films. While there are no real details to speak of, it's pretty exciting to see that the studio has quite a few projects in the works.

Horror Headlines: Thursday, February 9th, 2012

Am I the only one who goes into a fit of rage anytime he sees Eddie Van Halen on TV? Sure David Lee Roth is more annoying but Eddie... Eddie's always got that stupid smug look on his face. Oh I hate those tiny little chicklet teeth he flashes.

If you're waiting for Shawn Levy's new "Frankenstein" movie then I've got some bad news for you. The good people at Fox have decided to pass on the project based on the fact that the budget was looking to be upwards of $80 million. This sounds like a giant mistake to me. When you get the guy who made "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian" you give him any amount he wants and just watch the magic unfold.

"The Thing" remake's Mary Elizabeth Winstead looks to be teaming up with "The Last Exorcism" director Daniel Stamm for a new film called "The Darkness". Winstead will play a girl babysitting her tutor's two children in a large mansion that looks to be haunted. Do you think they'll play that "I Believe In a Thing Called Love" Song during the opening credits? I hope so, that tune is always fun.

Glenn Close, Elizabeth Olsen and Tom Felton (or as I like to call them the dream team) are all confirmed for roles in Therese Raquin, a new film about a wife who murders her sickly husband with her lover so they can be together. Oh but the husband comes back to haunt them. Just like I'd do if I ever get murdered by my wife. You reading this, honey!? I'll get you!

If you liked "The Woman in Black", and I did, then you might be giddy to find out that hammer Films has picked up the rights to "Gaslight" a new Jack the Ripper film which is said to be a mix of "From Hell" and "Silence Of the Lambs". You liked both of those movies didn't you? Or at least 1? That's 50%! I can confirm you'll love 50% of this movie.

In Real People News: 

Well this is just sad. A British swingers club may be forced to shut down due to complaints from neighbors that the parties are too loud. Lets all pray that these deviants can come to some sort of agreement. Maybe use ball gags after 9pm? That should help keep things quite.

Ever wonder if those guys at the airport even actually pay attention to what you put in the little bin to be scanned? Wonder no more. They do. Just ask this guy from Chicago who tried to get 5 bags of weed through.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 16th, 2011

Bill Nighy, who is apparently not "the science guy" has set his sights on the villain role in "I, Frankenstein". A new film which will starting shooting soon and tells the tale of everyone's favorite reanimated monster and what would happen if he popped up in the modern world. No news as to what the specific role would be but I don't think it would kill him to show us how magnets work or something.

A few months back it sounded like a big screen version of the video game "Bioshock" has some real potential to be made but from the way game creator Ken Levine is talking now it sounds like the film just isn't in the cards. Levine says in a recent interview that there's no real "desire" to have the movie get made and then goes on to give all the reasons as to why it would be bad. What about my desires, Ken? Those don't mean anything to you any more?!

We've all been waiting for a sequel to "Bikini Girls On Ice". Hell I heard some local schools are shutting down in protest until a new film is confirmed. Well get back to math class kids because we've got some new images from "Pin-Up Girls On Ice" for your viewing pleasure. This time around a group of pin up girls are asked to perform at a secluded camp that just so happens to be hunting grounds for a killer obsessed with ice. I can finally get some sleep tonight.

Valentina Cervi, who I'm not familiar with but based on pictures I assume reads a lot, is the latest name to be added to the upcoming season of "True Blood". Mrs. Book Worm will play an ancient vampire with the power to seduce men with all her worldly charms. But then the men get to her house and see she doesn't own a TV and fake some early morning meeting or something. Maybe ask if she has a sister.

In Real People News: 

I'm not even sure this should be a crime but a 26 year old North Carolina womAn is faces charges after she got drunk, broke into a house and ate a bunch of cookies. Honestly if she's willing to replace the cookies can't they just let this one slide? One time I got drunk when I was away with some friends and accidentally crawled into the wrong hotel window and took an hour nap in someone's room. Although I did make the bed when I left so, no harm no foul.

If you're going to dress up like a woman and steal a car, don't txt after you get behind the wheel. We might put up with trannys and car theft in New Jersey. But txting behind he wheel will not be tolerated.

Snapshots: "Bride of Frankenstein" - 1935

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Snapshots: Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed

I used to be a fan, but this latest season of Dancing With the Stars is just getting weird.

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